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Odds not on our side!

(13 Posts)
Thatwaslulu Sun 13-Nov-16 14:55:03

I'm 37, with PCOS which have caused scrambled eggs, and have had multiple miscarriages. My DH is 60 and his sperm have low motility. We have a 16 year old son (and he has two adult sons from his first marriage). Is it completely unrealistic to start trying for baby #2?

I have always wanted more than one, but after the mcs I thought I had accepted it wasn't going to happen (and consultants said 10 years ago that I had a 13% chance of getting pg and an even smaller chance of carrying to term). I am now 10 years older, but DH and I have started to talk about possibly trying for another one, but more leaving it to chance and if it happens it would be nice.

Has anyone else had similar issues and then conceived at such an ancient age when time and fertility are not on your side?

Thatwaslulu Sun 13-Nov-16 16:48:50


PotteringAlong Sun 13-Nov-16 16:52:04

Honestly? He's 60. I wouldn't even consider it.

Thatwaslulu Sun 13-Nov-16 16:56:51

Do you think it would be an issue? He's healthy other than arthritis in his knee (made worse by an old rugby injury and years as a postie). I was more concerned about the potential for mc due to my age. Hadn't really thought about his as being a problem.

TheLongRains Sun 13-Nov-16 17:05:55

His age may be less of a concern in terms of actually getting pregnant, but it does depend what you would like in the next several years... He'll be pushing 80 by the time the child would be looking to leave home, which wouldn't leave you much "adult only" time...(basing things on normal stats. He could of course be fit and well well into his 100s!).

If you are absolutely certain that it's what you want (rather than just the cute baby phase), 37 certainly isn't too old, though your other issues could make it more of a struggle. Have you spoken to medics? You'd need to go privately for any help, but if you're certain you want this, I'd start talking to the right medics sooner rather than later.

Good luck, whichever way you go!

BestBeastie Sun 13-Nov-16 17:11:45

You just need one good egg and one good swimmer in the end!

Do it now, if you're going to though! No point in waiting. Despite your 'issues' you may well fall pregnant quickly, you never know.

Nospringflower Sun 13-Nov-16 17:12:01

Worth a try if you both want another but are prepared for the fact it might not happen. Good luck!

Thatwaslulu Sun 13-Nov-16 17:18:42

We did see a specialist after the fifth mc, but that was 10 years ago and was when I was diagnosed with PCOS and DH had his sperm count tested. He was reluctant to carry on trying then as I was depressed and had a breakdown, and I had thought I had come to terms with just having the one. More and more, though, I am feeling so broody and envious of my friends and colleagues who are having babies.

My DSS has just got engaged and part of me thinks maybe it's time for the younger generation to have babies and to be happy with being a nan. But we are now in a strong financial position, and feel we could give a baby far more than any of the other boys had.

It is definitely worth thinking about our time as a couple. It would mean at least another 18 years of not having holidays on our own, so that's a consideration for us. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply.

jimijack Sun 13-Nov-16 17:26:24

I was 43, had 7 mcs.
Had a 10 year old which took us 3 years to get.
HUGE surprise, ds 2 is now nearly 4.
Told to not bother any more by reoccurring mc clinic, poor egg quality apparently.

Got there in the end...against he odds.

WantingBaby1 Sun 13-Nov-16 22:10:53

Honestly, i think his age really is something to consider. my father was 45 when he had me and is now 75. I always felt he was an old parent when I was a teen and now I worry about him not being around forever. He's fit and healthy but no one lives forever. Honestly I think 60 is just too old to have a child. The child will could lose their parent before they're old enough to cope with the loss.

Busybeesbum Mon 14-Nov-16 00:06:00

What do you mean scrambled eggs?

SoozC Mon 14-Nov-16 20:54:04

My DP is 47 and we're trying for number 1. Yes, he'll be an old parent but any baby we have will be loved so much. If it's something that means so much to you then I think it's worth trying for.

delilahbucket Tue 15-Nov-16 15:43:45

While I appreciate your biological clock is screaming at toy right now, I really think your partners age is the major factor here. Men's age does affect their fertility and there sperm deteriorates after 45. There is an increased risk of miscarriage and birth defects, not to mention the fact that it is hard for the sperm to fertilize an egg in the first place. This is all without considering the psychological affect on your child of having a much older parent. I don't think it would be fair on you, him or the child for you to try.

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