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When you just know its not going to happen

(16 Posts)
FluffyEwok Sun 06-Nov-16 21:27:50

Im at the stage were i just know im never going to be a mum and im actually not overly sad. Weird?

MouseLove Sun 06-Nov-16 21:36:40

How long have you been TTC? There are plenty of different ways you can be a Mum too. No hope lost. X

FluffyEwok Sun 06-Nov-16 21:47:09

Over a year. I actually dont think i want it anymore its too much hassle.

haveacupoftea Sun 06-Nov-16 23:01:40

I knew it wasnt going to happen and put away all my ovulation tests etc. I gave up. Little did i knew I had conceived days earlier.

Take a break from TTC. But you never know for sure that it will or wont happen.

MouseLove Mon 07-Nov-16 18:10:31

If you've been trying for over a year visit the docs and rule out any problems. Then at least you are giving yourself the best chance. Being a Mum can come in many different ways. Don't give up hope! Little goals and something to look forward to helps. X

Thomasina76 Mon 07-Nov-16 19:33:51

Feel the same. Just got BFN after 3rd unmedicated IUI. I am 40. Just feel I can't go on trying and trying (has been a year) and would rather just give up and accept it. DH and I have 2 kids each so I will need to accept that's our lot in life and try not to feel sad that we don't have a DC together. We've had all the test and are unexplained, other than age. Good luck whatever you decide. Big hugs. xx

FluffyEwok Mon 07-Nov-16 19:58:05

I apparently have pcos. Ive finished my 3rd clomid cycle but having a break. Im 30 no kids x

delilahbucket Mon 07-Nov-16 20:48:15

I know how you feel but on the other hand we feel like there's no going back now. We're on cycle 20 (it might be 21 actually). We have male factor infertility so our chances are pretty slim. I would love to say time is on our side as I'm only 31 but I'm running out of eggs already. We can have icsi but will have to pay as I have a child from a previous relationship. We haven't got the money to pay so it's a no go really.

Chloejames22 Mon 07-Nov-16 22:25:21

Hi ladies,
I hope you don't mind me joining, I felt compelled to write a post as I can empathise with your sentiments. We had a MC as soon as we started trying 12 months ago and now nothing and as the months go by, I have found it harder and harder. I reached a bit of a low point this past month when I had my period but I ended up coming across some books by Julia Indochiva and have found that they really helped me and I feel a lot more positive so would definitely recommend.
Ewok - have you tried a low GI diet? I found this really helped get my PCOS and hormones under control. How have you found taking clomid? x

FluffyEwok Mon 07-Nov-16 23:48:07

Hi Chloe im on low GI which is really hard and metformin. Nothing seems to make a difference. Clomid sent me a bit madgrin

Chloejames22 Tue 08-Nov-16 07:54:58

Hi ewok- how are you finding the metformin? I was prescribed it years ago and didn't get on very well with it but was prepared to try again if needs be but my bloods all came back normal so doctor didn't see any need. I've never had a proper diagnosis of pcos so not sure if I've got it or not! I was diagnosed at about 13 but then after losing weight which got my hormones a bit more under control I tested again but they couldn't say I had it the second time.

Ive heard mixed reports about clomid as well. My friend said she just knew it wasn't for her and have heard similar from quite a few people.

Low gi is hard, especially this time of year when you really crave carbs. Maybe give yourself a break for a few months and then start again in the new year? Sometimes all the trying and stress which comes with that can drive you mad! Xx

Scottysmum2008 Tue 08-Nov-16 11:31:46

Glad I came across this discussion; I haven't been on here for a while but wanted to talk.
I'm 41 and have just had the all clear on some tests which apparently means there's no reason why we can't keep ttc.
Strangely though I feel the opposite of what I hoped I would feel at good news. DH wants to fix the situation and continue to put everything into ttc but I am ready to shelve the idea right now.
We're looking to move house so I am putting my all into that to try and change my focus; perhaps a change of focus could help.
Wishing you all the best FluffyEwok flowers

Chloejames22 Tue 08-Nov-16 12:25:21

It definitely helps to talk. How long have you been trying if you don't mind me asking? I think the hardest part about ttc is that ultimately you can give it your all but there's no guarantee that it will happen. Everyone is different but for me I'm just doing the best I can and I don't want to dedicate every single waking moment to it. Same with anything in life though, you've got to have a balance and can't focus on just one thing for happiness. When we had tests and nothing was wrong I was almost disappointed as didn't know what to do next and there wasn't a 'solution' as such. When nothing is wrong I think it can be even more daunting as it's so open ended and you feel like you're embarking on a journey where you have no idea where you'll end to or when. Do you think maybe it's self preservation? Xx

Scottysmum2008 Tue 08-Nov-16 13:26:27

We've been ttc for @2.5 yrs. I have a ds who is 8, and I had a mmc @3 yrs ago.
Life is full so it hasn't been the centre of everything, however falling so easily for my ds and the 2nd time before mc'ing lulled us into a false sense that it would just happen.
I am putting some time into myself and and reminding myself I have skills so as to take the attention away from feeling like I have failed in some way. I don't want to be maudlin about this; it has been such a journey so far, and I haven't failed at all but it's tough to stay strong isn't it.

Scottysmum2008 Tue 08-Nov-16 13:32:05

I also plan to read a Julia Indochiva book following on from your earlier comments in this thread Chloejames22 smile

Chloejames22 Tue 08-Nov-16 18:25:50

I found it really helpful and I was struggling at that point so hopefully by recommending, it might help someone else too. Let me know how you find it xx

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