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Ttc following still birth

(8 Posts)
lynseyc83 Fri 28-Oct-16 19:41:13

My daughter Amiee was still born at 30 weeks in July. Which was devastating for me and my husband.
Wanting to conceive again but my cycle seems messed up - I've had one period since/ constant cramping pains like mild period pains since giving birth.
Awaiting ultra sound to see if I have retains any products.
Has anyone been in this situation- howling am I best waiting?
I conceived in the 1st month before
Sorry... very frustrated and sad confused

sydneysideup Fri 28-Oct-16 20:51:12

Hi Lynsey I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my first at 24 weeks and was desperate to conceive again. I think my cycle took about two months to return, then I actually fell pregnant very quickly, but had an early miscarriage. I fell pregnant again and I'm happy to say the result of that pregnancy was a beautiful healthy girl, now aged seven and sleeping soundly upstairs.

Many people advised me to wait 3 cycles but I couldn't, I wanted a healthy baby in my arms so badly, but in the end it was 4 months between my loss and falling pregnant with DD.

Everyone's different but I found it helpful to read as much as I could about still birth and baby loss in the early days, it helped to know I wasn't alone. Then I focused on yoga, healthy food and sleep. There was an amazing book of different people's experiences of loss in pregnancy and infant loss, I'll see if I can dig out the title.

It is the worst thing to have happen, I'm so sorry for your loss, you will get through this. I found threads on here which were incredible, I'm not sure if they are still running though.

lynseyc83 Sat 29-Oct-16 07:41:03

Thankyou for your reply Sydney and I'm sorry for your loss also.
I'm just hoping my cycle gets back to normal soon, I don't want to replace Aimee but my arms are aching for a baby

Blueroses99 Sat 29-Oct-16 09:45:11

Hi Lynsey, I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my son at 21 weeks also in July. He was conceived by IVF and I had to wait for 2 periods before I could start again with the clinic. They did a scan to check whether there were any retained products (there weren't). I have been told that it can take time for cycles to return so it might not be anything to worry about, but if you are still cramping, it's a good idea to get checked out to see whether there is anything that's stopping your cycles returning. I have the aching arms feeling too...

sydneysideup Sat 29-Oct-16 09:52:56

This is the book I read, it has many testimonials and lots of great advice. It helped me to feel there were other people out there who understood.

I had also had three miscarriages before losing our son - everyone's story and grief is individual but we all have many things in common. It's like being a member of a secret society you never knew about and never wanted to join. But you will get through this, and you will hold your happy, healthy baby in your arms.

I always remember him, especially around the delivery date and then again around his due date. There's also SANDS who have a great helpline, if you're in the U.K.

Alb1 Sat 29-Oct-16 10:24:01

Hi Lyndsey my DD was stillborn at 35 weeks in May and I was the same as you, we started Ttc as soon as the bleeding stopped at 4 weeks and my cycles went straight back to 28 days but I was confident I wasn't ovulating, I had a scan to look for retained products in August (there wernt any) and it just drove me so nuts wondering why it wasn't happening when my cycles have always been so good before and I've always gotten pregnant so quickly, I felt like it would never happen. My cycles started going funny again in September, 31 days instead of 28 and then in October I finally got a bfp, so it took 5 cycles for me, I honestly don't think I ovulated before this cycle either. I think just try as soon as your ready but try and prepare yourself incase it takes a while, our body's have been through so much and it just takes time for them to go back to normal. My consultant suggested I wait 6 months before trying again as the body often takes this long to return to normal, but said no harm comes from trying sooner (exept to my sanity!). So sorry about your daughter flowers

lynseyc83 Sat 29-Oct-16 20:38:19

Thanks for your messages guys been for a scan today- told everything looked fine nonretained products likely cramping pains due to my hormones
Congratulations alb1
And I'm sorry for everyone's losses, I always thought still births were a rare thing till I experienced it

Blueroses99 Sun 30-Oct-16 12:26:56

Lynsey glad to hear scan was fine and hope the hormones are sorted out soon

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