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WWYD - Do I give up work to focus on getting pregnant?

(8 Posts)
SaigonSaigon Thu 06-Oct-16 19:44:15

I'm 41 and ttc#2. I've lost 2 babies in the last 2 yrs; one an mc and the other was a pregnancy I ended due to an abnormality. Both absolutely awful. I'm freelance and generally enjoy my job. I work mainly from home. However, its an all consuming job and although I had planned to do 3 days a week, its turns into full time when my project is in full swing. It has been suggested, as I'm no spring chicken, that I give up work - for the next year or so, until I hopefully get pregnant - to solely focus on this. I could do this. Financially it'll be way harder, and I'm bound to get really bored - but would it help me as I'm clearly time-restricted? I'm so torn. I just want to get pregnant, but I think putting all that pressure on just this thing could be counterproductive. The last 2 times I got pregnant, I was wokring. But I was also younger. The stress/tiredness does get to me more now, and I know it affects me. Have you been in this situation? I know not everyone has this choice, but WWYD?

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Thu 06-Oct-16 19:47:34

I worked full time and got pregnant at 42!! It was a welcome distraction and made the pregnancy go faster. I had ds 5wks early due to blood clots. Not caused by age or working - just one of those things. Baby perfectly healthy and didn't need special care. I had other dc so couldn't afford to not work but doubt I would have stayed home all day stressing about ttc. . Coz that can't be healthy either.

PotteringAlong Thu 06-Oct-16 19:49:38

No. it cannot become your whole world and your entire focus because if you don't get pregnant what will you do?

LeatherAndLace Thu 06-Oct-16 19:50:30

Is there no way you can get your job down to part time hours? That would be a better situation imo.

OlennasWimple Thu 06-Oct-16 19:50:35

I don't think that not working is going to significantly increase your chances of conceiving (the stress of not working and the pressure of trying to make it happen might make the situation worse?).

If you have a high risk pregnancy, cutting back on your workload to take it as easy as possible is probably sensible.

Good luck

Figgygal Thu 06-Oct-16 19:51:36

I don't see how it can help to be honest What would it be about work that's stopping you getting pregnant now?

Without work what will you do all day you can't try to get pg 8 hours a day every day it could be very isolating and unhealthy for your mental wellbeing

Tootsiepops Thu 06-Oct-16 19:53:55

I gave up work to get myself physically ready for fertility treatment. Diet overhaul, personal training three / four times per week, and total stress reduction from a v pressured job.

Personally, if I were your age (and I'm not far off it grin), I'd have a fertility check up to see how your egg reserve is doing before giving up work for a year. That way, you'd have a better idea how the land lies.

SaigonSaigon Thu 06-Oct-16 20:08:19

Thanks all for your perspective, I really appreciate some objectivity!

I was concerned the pressures/stress of the job (because there is a lot, at times) could affect me. But, you're right, sitting around waiting for it to happen could affect me badly in other ways, with my mental health. I could definitely forsee that.

I am waiting to get a fertility MOT, so we'll see what that produces.


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