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finally pregnant but...

(8 Posts)
sb12985 Sat 24-Sep-16 10:29:07

Me and my husband have been ttc for about 2 years, although dtd nowhere near as much as we probably should be doing as we tried to be relaxed about it and having the attitude 'it will happen when it happens'. I'm 3 days late (my periods are very regular) and this morning I took a test and the second line couldn't be any clearer! We are over the moon, we're both in our early 30s and were starting to get slightly worried about our chances. However, I'm feeling so guilty as my younger sister and husband can't conceive naturally and currently in their second round of IVF. It has been very difficult for them both and it upsets us all to see them going through this. We're obviously going to keep it quiet for now but I'm dreading for my sister finding out our news. Anyone else been in this situation - I've been crying this morning just thinking of how I'm going to tell her without feeling guilty.

Crystal15 Sat 24-Sep-16 10:42:26

You shouldn't feel bad at all. It sounds like you've had your struggles too. Your sister would want you to be happy anyway and her struggles can't overshadow everybody else's happiness.

everdene Sat 24-Sep-16 10:52:59

I'm in a fairly similar situation to you OP in that I have a friend who is on her third round of IVF and we had some heart-to-hearts about our situations do

everdene Sat 24-Sep-16 10:56:33


So I'm not looking forward to saying I'm expecting to her.

However, on here a few people have said it's not that others want your baby, they just want their own, I.e., it's not like there are only so many babies to go around.

Good luck OP.

skyyequake Sat 24-Sep-16 10:59:45

There was a thread on here a week or two ago about a woman who was going through IVF and she had a friend who was also going through it. The OP had found out she was pg and knew it would crush her friend.

I think the consensus was that you should tell her away from everyone else, and before anyone else so she doesn't hear it through word of mouth. Also be gentle and give her plenty of time to process. Acknowledge her feelings, and let her know that its fine if she needs some space for a while. Also possibly tell her via text/email so she doesn't immediately feel the need to congratulate or put on a brace face for you. She has time to prepare herself for that the next time she sees you. That way you're not putting her on the spot.

Congratulations OP flowers and I hope everything works out well for your sister!

skyyequake Sat 24-Sep-16 11:00:55

*brave face not brace face blush

haveacupoftea Sun 25-Sep-16 01:08:13

You might even find that it gives her hope - if you can conceive, there is a chance for her too.

sb12985 Sun 25-Sep-16 09:01:01

Thank you everyone for your replies. Telling her separately sounds like a good idea.

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