Scared to TTC#2!

[BendydickCuminsnatch]

We were planning on TTC#2 in January, but have lately been wondering if we should delay it. Mainly because it has come around SO quickly, and also because oh my god, 2 kids, how the hell does anyone manage that??? Also I want to work on myself and my 'career' (I make wedding cakes from home, so V flexible and V part time, but I want to do more of it).

We have DS, 16 months old, and initially wanted an 18 month age gap, but by the time I'd recovered from his birth the window for that gap had already passed and DS was 1. Then I was allowed to exercise and wanted to get in shape for myself and for the next pregnancy. That is taking a long time! Since we always had in mind that we'd want the first 2 kids quite close together, I haven't really researched bigger age gaps and wondered if you could help me come up with a list of pros and cons!

If I got pregnant in January that would give a 2.5year ish gap, which is pretty standard I think. We never tried for DS, so don't know how long it might take. We could end up with a 3+ year gap. Which I'm sure would be fine, but I have just never envisioned that. We want 3 maybe 4 kids in theory so if they all have a 3 year gap, surely it's a logistical nightmare trying to meet the needs of all those different age ranges?

Pros of delaying TTC:
More time to get in shape
More time to sort out house (small extension starting before Xmas)
More time to focus on cakes

Cons of delaying TTC:
Kids may be less likely to be into the same things? Ultimately having to cater for interests of say a 9 yr old and a 6 yr old and a baby for example.
Stop-start career - keep taking breaks to have kids instead of one long career gap for multiple kids.
Longer period of parenting children overall
Sharing rooms will probably be harder

Also wondering if maybe I should get down to a certain weight before TTC, but then I think that's silly because I might never get there.

Just looking for more others' insight really, and more pros and cons. RL friends have advised to crack on, but me and DH are both in 2 minds! But I think we'll always be in 2 minds

[MrsY87]

I would crack on with it.

Like you we had always wanted a small age gap but ended up waiting due to various things, mainly my work mat leave policy, but thought we'd still end up with a smallish age gap because we were lucky with DD and conceived cycle 1, we are now on cycle 6 of ttc #2 and have also had a mc during that time so it's taking much longer than expected and the age gap is getting bigger, hopefully it will happen for us soon and we'll end up with a 3year gap....Given the chance again I wouldn't wait particularly as you just never know how long it would take so if you are thinking about it go for it!

I just need to persuade DH to agree to that for no3!!

[MmmMalbec]

I spent ages trying to work out whether I could face going through it all again and we had so so many conversations weighing up the pros and cons.

I ideally wanted a spring baby so we decided to go for it in May and now I'm just about to start cycle 6 and think I'll need clomid to conceive this time round thanks to a crappy LP. In contrast I conceived DS on cycle 2. I wouldn't put it off because you really don't know what's round the corner. But obviously you need to be prepared for it happening much quicker too!

Good luck!

[BendydickCuminsnatch]

Thanks for sharing your views! Really helpful. Hope it happens for you both soon!!