Anxious about TTC baby#2....

[Thunderwing]

I have a wonderful DD who was diagnosed with Down's Syndrome postnatally. I had all the tests offered to me when pg but was told I was in the low risk category. Obviously low risk does not mean zero risk, so my DH and I were taken by surprise when DC was born. We never had any doubts or qualms about having a child with ASN and DD has continually surprised us, exceeding all expectations we were given. I could not love DD more and would give her the world.

DH took me by surprise yesterday by saying we should start TTC again. It was always on the cards to have another child but I've got to say my head is all over the place. DD is 4 and beginning to learn some self sufficiency but I still have to most things for her, she can't dress herself for example.

What do I do about pre-natal testing, do I do it? I am against having an abortion purely because of a diagnosis of Down's Syndrome, however I really don't know what I would do if I found out I was having another. I owe it to my DD to give her all the extra attention she needs don't I? Will I neglect a second child because DD needs more help?

My DH has said to stop my contraceptive and start taking Folic Acid so we can think about TTC in 3 months. Help me sort my head out because I don't know what to do. I want another child, but I don't know if I should or if I could even cope.

[DollyBarton]

I think it's natural to be afraid. But if you want another child there is only one way to get one and it's never without risk, for anyone. I think it's very exciting and I wish you all the best luck. Your dd has added so much to your life I'm sure and this next child will too. Beyond that, nobody can guess what way things will turn out. I personally think I wouldn't do anything more than the standard tests. I think there's one called panorama now that is non invasive and covers a few genetic disorders that might be worth having for a little peace of mind but beyond that I wouldn't personally test.

[Thunderwing]

Thank you Dolly, I know I need to take some time to think about whether or not I should have another child, or if I should just concentrate on giving DD all of my time and attention. It's so difficult.