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Baby blues!

(2 Posts)
mamamaki Sun 11-Sep-16 11:13:21

I am in a happy and steady relationship with what I could only describe as my soulmate. I have felt ready for another baby but not been in a position to, for at least 3 years. I brought it up to my partner about 3 months ago after reading a book called "surrendering to motherhood" which explained in perfect terms what I had been feeling. Before this relationship I was a single mother for 6 years, I know the unpredictability and overwhelming fulfilment that motherhood provides, my daughter is living proof that I know what I'm doing. I'm often told that we're the perfect duo.

The important part is that my partner says he wants children just "not yet." With no timeframe in mind, I'm left in limbo. Every time I've gently tried to bring it up he just smiled and says "stop it." I understand that he is worried, but parenthood is unpredictable and I feel bad for bringing it up like I'm being selfish.. But motherhood is the most selfless thing I think you can possibly do!!

I feel like me asking to grow, create and love his child and bring child into the world to love and nurture for the rest of my life is quite an admiral request. I feel like maybe he's being the selfish one my depriving me of that fulfilling experience sad

I'm not sure where to go from here...

BoBo90 Sun 11-Sep-16 14:01:55

The way you feel is totally normal. However we are all allowed to feel how we do in regards to taking that big step. It's hard but if he isn't ready than you have to wait.

Presumably he has taken on a parental role with your current child so I think you are being harsh calling him selfish because he asks you to wait a bit longer.

I was ready for a baby a year into my relationship but dh wasn't. Although we talked about babies it wasn't until a couple months after our wedding he said he was ready. It can be hard but I'm glad I didn't rush/nag him so bide your time and it will work out eventually 😊 Xx

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