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Circumcised DH/older first-time dad

(29 Posts)
davirose Fri 09-Sep-16 09:27:10

Hello everyone,
My husband and I have decided to TTC and I'm wondering if anyone out there has been in or is currently in a similar situation to us.
I'm 33. DH is 58, circumcised and has never climaxed in me because he needs a condom in order to reach this point.
Does anyone out there have any tips? I've read about the 'turkey basting' method but concerned about how hygienic this might be.
In terms of DH's age, he is full of energy and is looking forward to kids but I'd still be curious to hear from anyone who has raised a child in a similar scenario or who have older fathers themselves.
Many thanks.

RosieWithTheGoodCreditHistory Fri 09-Sep-16 09:51:19

Ive no experience of this but pin in condom? It works in soaps! gringood luck

furryminkymoo Fri 09-Sep-16 10:24:28

If your DH really can't climax inside you then I would consider IUI tbh.

Maybe try to address the condom situation? Has he always been like this? Has he any other children?

davirose Fri 09-Sep-16 15:59:29

DH has no other children (he was widowed, no children from previous marriage due to her ill health).
We've considered getting him 'close' then suddenly taking off condom and dtd but the hole in the condom might be worth a try. We've only started TTC (as in last week!).
Thank you very much for your responses; this is my first interaction on mumsnet and it's lovely to have other opinions.
Btw what is all this 'Sept/October Bus' talk about? Is that for those already pregnant? (Sorry for my ignorance- I'm v. new to all of this!).

davirose Fri 09-Sep-16 16:03:23

Oh, and yes, he has always been like this. He was circumcised in his 20s- sex too painful previously. Not painful for him anymore, just difficult to be aroused once 'inside' due to lack of foreskin.

JustGettingStarted Fri 09-Sep-16 16:06:26

Could you pull off the condom then turn it inside out with your finger while pushing it up in towards your cervix.

davirose Fri 09-Sep-16 16:16:38

Thank you JustGettingStarted. Will try.
If sperm is exposed to air I wonder if it kills/damages it. We'll definitely give it a go though!

reallyreallyreallytired Fri 09-Sep-16 16:18:31

Just be aware lots of condoms are coated in spermicide.

davirose Fri 09-Sep-16 16:29:04

Perhaps a whole lot(!) of lube could be another option. Managed to climax once before with this. I'll just have to be ready to jump (as it were!!!).
He does take quite a long time to climax- I'm talking about 20 minutes on average. He says he's always been like this.

Brenna24 Fri 09-Sep-16 16:31:00

We have a similar problem due to DH being circumcised. We seem to have managed to get past it by perseverence. Option B was going to be a turkey baster for us - you can get kits of amazon and could seterilise them iwth hot water first. Thankfully we don't need to. Be aware as Really said - normal condoms have spermicide in, so they are not a good option. We did get spermicide free ones from the clinic that did DH's sperm analysis for sample collection (next problem for us - i can get pregnant but keep having miscarriages). If you do a google search you can find them (I just checked).

Good luck.

davirose Sat 10-Sep-16 00:11:40

Brenna24 if you don't mind saying, what was your 'perseverance'? Did you manage completely without condom?
Good to hear others are out there with similar situations. Thank you for the advice regarding natural condoms out there too.
We haven't been to a GP yet regarding our decision to ttc so we haven't had any sperm count etc. I've only just started taking folic acid tablets and I suppose we were just going to see how we get on. Are we completely delusional? I suppose I'm preparing mentally for the long-haul, considering our circumstances, so thought we'd start 'practising' even though I think bfp is unlikely so soon. (Is it only teens/20-yr-olds who manage to get pregnant so quickly?)

JustGettingStarted Sat 10-Sep-16 00:24:49

I haven't seen a condom coated in spermicide in years. They used to be (as it was also thought to be efficacious against HIV) until they figure out that the spermicide, a detergent, gave women thrush.

JustGettingStarted Sat 10-Sep-16 00:28:18

Sperm probably doesn't thrive in air. So *immediately *after he ejaculates, remove the condom carefully, keeping it right side out. Then put your finger into the outside of the tip while you lie on your back with you legs spread and push it up your fanjo. Whilst pushing in, turn the condom inside out and dump the contents right at the cervix.

Lie with your bottom elevated. Let gravity work for you.

FlumptyDumpty Sat 10-Sep-16 00:44:19

You could try getting him to ejaculate into a sterile pot and then use a syringe to insert the sperm.

davirose Sat 10-Sep-16 00:48:44

Oh right, so kind of invert the condom inside me?

davirose Sat 10-Sep-16 00:51:52

He's only ever been able to climax into a condom so the pot idea won't work unfortunately. These ideas are great though- really appreciate it

ImperialBlether Sat 10-Sep-16 00:56:16

Are you seriously considering getting pregnant by a 58 year old?

davirose Sat 10-Sep-16 01:10:51

Correct. We're fully aware of it being rather unconventional(!) and yes, there are risks involved, not to mention raising a child who will have a much older father. I never thought I would end up being very much out-of-the-norm; I'm usually very traditional! It's surprised us both but we're very happy and comfortable with each other so if you're here to judge I'm not really in the mood for that.

Brenna24 Sun 11-Sep-16 16:08:00

Hi Davirose

Yes. Just that. No other 'outlets' for him (before he could only climax masturbating using some very rough cloth like a towel) and just keep trying. Eventually we got into the rhythm of it and found 1 position that worked. Not much variety in our house now, but we are managing.

BeingATwatItsABingThing Sun 11-Sep-16 16:17:28

Well aren't you a delight Imperial hmm

OP, I have no further advice to add that others haven't suggested. Good luck to you though. smile

ImperialBlether Sun 11-Sep-16 16:20:16

What? I'm wrong to question the wisdom of getting pregnant by a 58 year old man?

ImperialBlether Sun 11-Sep-16 16:20:21

What? I'm wrong to question the wisdom of getting pregnant by a 58 year old man?

ImperialBlether Sun 11-Sep-16 16:21:01

Apologies for the double post.

BeingATwatItsABingThing Sun 11-Sep-16 16:21:50

Yes you are. None of your business and that's no what the OP came on to ask about.

BeingATwatItsABingThing Sun 11-Sep-16 16:22:06


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