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When should we start a family?

(7 Posts)
JayneLut Mon 05-Sep-16 17:04:08

I'm 32, my partner of two years is about to turn 33. We've been really good friends for over a decade.

Ideally I'd like to be married before starting a family, but I'm aware we're on the late side starting on this journey!

My other half is in between jobs (was an engineer in the North Sea). The plan is to get engaged when he's secured new employment (as we know that as soon as we make it 'official' our respective families will go in to planning mode - TBH I think they're already in planning mode :/).

I started a new job earlier this year. Okay pay (I'm hoping for a decent pay bump next year as I've been hitting all my targets and objectives ahead of time). To get the enhanced maternity package they offer I have to have been employed for 52 weeks 15 weeks before my expected due date (so the earliest I could get pregnant is late October/ early November). Enhanced rate of maternity is six months full pay and 13 weeks at half pay - so it's a pretty good deal!

According to doctors I'm healthy (could do with losing a few pounds but nothing too terrible).

I do however have bipolar disorder - so would need to get in touch with a perinatal psychiatric team throughout (and pref before) pregnancy.

All of this seems to take time. I'm probably being a bit silly - but I'm worried about running out of time? My mum and her mum both went through the menopause fairly early (early 40s).

Am I leaving things to late? Or does it make sense to wait until spring next year to start trying?

Thanks ladies!

Oysterbabe Mon 05-Sep-16 17:07:24

I had my first at 35. You aren't old by modern standards. However the early menopause would worry me. Can you go for a fertility MOT?

JayneLut Mon 05-Sep-16 17:10:19

How / where do I get a fertility MOT?

BadToTheBone Mon 05-Sep-16 17:12:32

I was 34 with first, who came along as a surprise, so not trying. Had my second at 38, second month of trying. I'm not an old mum, even with my second, not out of place in the school yard. I think your plans are ok.

lousylear Mon 05-Sep-16 17:43:11

Due to the risk of early menopause I would start ttc as soon as poss. October/November you say? In which case you should start taking folic acid now. Also I don't think you say what contraception you use but you could do with getting that out of your system now too and get your cycles 'normal' if necessary. I would start tracking my cycles now if I were you in preparation.

JayneLut Mon 05-Sep-16 17:58:13

Thanks. We just use condoms at the mo. Periods are pretty regular. Been using a period tracker app on my phone.

lousylear Mon 05-Sep-16 21:07:15

Ah, ok. You should be fine then once you start ttc. FX for you.

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