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Doing 'it' right? Inexperienced & have questions

(20 Posts)
Curious541 Sun 04-Sep-16 00:51:56

Hi all, long time lurker, first time poster... here goes...

Married lovely dh a couple of yrs ago and have been ttc on an off during that time. Both of us were (are) quite inexperienced in the bedroom - our first unprotected sex was with each other in the run up to our wedding. When it comes to sex it's usually him on top, sometimes me, nothing fancy

When we've finished it's really messy and I end up running to bathroom to clean up - it's as if it's all leaked out of me. We always have a puddle on the sheets. I feel it all leaking out when he pulls out of me

Does this happen to everyone or are we doing something wrong??

(Feel too embarrassed to ask friends/family - isn't sex meant to be a natural/basic instinct??)

MotherOfROC Sun 04-Sep-16 00:54:23

Completely normal ... Well happens to me too

Curious541 Sun 04-Sep-16 00:58:44

Have you conceived even though there's not much left in you?

I know there's meant to be millions but I'd prefer them to be in me rather than down loo!!

MotherOfROC Sun 04-Sep-16 01:06:25

I have 3 DC and 2 miscarriages so was never a problem. Initially took over a year to conceive then miscarriage then fell 6 weeks after. 3 years later came off the pill and fell within a month . Third time was not trying and DH was on waiting list for vasectomy and fell with my youngest. 5 years later I fell again! Vasectomy had failed but unfortunately ended in miscarriage.

How old are you, I was 22, 28, 30 and 35 when I fell if you have been trying for over a year a trip to the GP for a blood test to check your fertility is a good idea.

MotherOfROC Sun 04-Sep-16 01:07:17

Oh and remember there are millions and it only takes one !

Curious541 Sun 04-Sep-16 01:25:34

I'm 33, dh 36 - think it's time to see dr but worry over being told there's something wrong- at the moment at least I can think it's cos they're swimming away! Lol

Also think my weight is an issue so trying to do something about that too (Step and point countingsmile)

MotherOfROC Sun 04-Sep-16 01:35:43

I think it would be good idea to get the blood test first and then go from there. I am far from skinny too and never had a problem

skatesection Sun 04-Sep-16 01:38:42

The best sperm are already inside you when you start to leak the semen, so don't worry about that.
(Maybe the doc will say something's wrong but that's the only way that you can figure out what to do about it.)
Apparently, the optimum way for TTC is to have sex every three days over the course of your cycle. This way you definitely hit the fertile days within a day or two and the sperm are premium quality (also they don't get in the way of each other).

GiddyOnZackHunt Sun 04-Sep-16 01:42:56

Sex is messy so that's not necessarily an issue. There are fluids involved on both sides and one of you might be producing a lot. None of which has to be bad news.
Is your cycle regular? How long is it?
A visit to the GP after 6 months of ttc is appropriate.

LuluJakey1 Sun 04-Sep-16 01:52:51

Robert Winston said on TV that lots of couples actually just don't have enough sex when they say they are finding it hard to conceive. That would be the first point. Have lots of sex for 6 months and see what happens.

Weight can be a problem but it is usually only the case if someone is very overweight and often not even then.

If you have regular periods and lots of sex it might well happen.

If not then go to GP.

I had DS 1 at 35 and am about 6 weeks pregnant now at 37.

Curious541 Sun 04-Sep-16 01:53:20

Not quite as regular as I thought - although I track in calendar just done a proper count and last few months varied from 24 to 27. I've been putting it down to timing - period turning up early/late so should've had sex earlier/later to hit the right time.

Every 3 days you say? Hmm will give that a try too. had been trying every 2 days but the right time of month always seems to be when one of us has really busy time at work and seem too tired, so I think we've been missing ov

GiddyOnZackHunt Sun 04-Sep-16 01:58:19

I was confused by sex in the middle of cycle. For me to catch, it's 2 weeks before my period that's my window. Sex on day 14 of my 28 day cycle was ok but when my cucle changed to 22 days (with a 7 day period) it meant ttc straight away.
Ovulation sticks from Amazon can help you figure out your most fertile Times.

Curious541 Sun 04-Sep-16 01:59:39

Ok - plan of action... (in no particular order)
1. Get folic acid and vitamin d tablets (been reading other threads)
2. Have more sex over next few months
3. Get to bed earlier when work is busy so feel less tired
4. More sex
5. Get rid of those extra stones pounds (gotta start somewhere)
6. More sex
7. If after xmas no result - make doc appt smile

Jeez - he's gonna think Xmas has come early wink

skatesection Sun 04-Sep-16 11:08:50

Sounds like a plan. Good luck :D

Pugmummy87 Sun 04-Sep-16 11:36:02

Curious it happens to me too. Sex is messy, not like in films and tv where you can lie there in post coital bliss, we normally both need to go into the bathroom afterwards to clean up. Apparently the good sperm go to where they are needed, anything else leaking out is not to worry.
(Doesn't stop me from putting my legs up in the air though lol).

Definitely aim for regular sex throughout your cycle, doctors recommend at least 3 times per week, so we are aiming for very 2-3 days. This is also meant to improve the quality of sperm I believe. Sometimes life gets in the way, do I also take my temperature and use opk's to work out when fertile week/ovulation is.

VashtaNerada Sun 04-Sep-16 11:41:44

I always laid on my back with my legs tucked in to my tummy and my pelvis tilted up for about ten minutes after! No idea if it helped but I got pg fairly soon after trying.

LuluJakey1 Sun 04-Sep-16 12:04:02

Best position for conception is missionary - my favourite as well and DH's - but no need to lie with legs in the air afterwards grin

VashtaNerada Sun 04-Sep-16 15:02:39

Well it was quite relaxing even if it didn't work grin

MrsCharlieD Sun 04-Sep-16 18:32:57

Most or it runs out of me too although I found make an effort to stay laid down for about half an hour after. I find there is less waste if we do it with him behind! Sooo sorry for the TMI! I had my ds when I was obese. Really wished I wasn't but it happened and not much I could do once I was already pregnant so being overweight doesn't mean you won't be able to conceive but it will be the first thing a doc would mention. Good luck!

Curious541 Sun 04-Sep-16 23:24:00

Thanks everyone, got the folic acid today so fingers crossed x

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