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Performance anxiety

(5 Posts)
beansbananas Mon 22-Aug-16 18:27:18

My husband and I are trying to conceive again after sadly losing our first baby in May at 16 weeks. My cycles have taken time to settle down and have been impossible to predict. By chance I took an ovulation test on Friday and it showed a hormone surge. This was nearly ten days earlier than my ovulation calendar had predicted, so it caught me off guard. My husband whilst surprised seemed to deal with it ok and we had sex on Friday night. Unfortunately for the rest of the weekend he couldn't seem to ejaculate. This isn't a problem he's ever had before so we've put it down to performance anxiety. I'm pretty upset as I think it's very unlikely we will have conceived with only one attempt. But I also don't want the same thing to happen next month. I know some people suggest that you shouldn't tell them you're ovulating to reduce the pressure, but I'm pretty sure if I suddenly seemed incredibly amorous that he'd guess anyway! Has anyone else experienced this?

AmyC86 Mon 22-Aug-16 18:34:25

Yes, in a roundabout sort of way. I'm currently taking clomid so it's not in the least bit spontaneous, even less so than yourself!!

I found my DH had been watching porn "to keep it flowing" as he put it angry I suppose everyone see's porn in a different light, but given the circumstances of our situation it made me feel crap!

AmyC86 Mon 22-Aug-16 18:35:59

So I understand that men can get easily overwhelmed by the prospects of performing under pressure and the 'having to do' rather than the usual 'nice to do'

MrsGsnow18 Mon 22-Aug-16 18:45:42

I find it best to not say anything and not talk much with DH about the finer details as it takes less pressure off.

beansbananas Mon 22-Aug-16 18:58:20

Amy... If it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure my husband was also watching porn on his phone just before he suggested we try again, and it still didn't work! It made me feel really unattractive and definitely didn't make me feel better about things. But I know I'm not allowed to make it about me as he is the one feeling under pressure and sensitive.... So I guess I have to tolerate the porn!

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