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1 yr in and started fertility tests

(50 Posts)
peaches88 Wed 10-Aug-16 21:23:29

We've been ttc for a year now and have been to our go, who has started the ball rolling for fertility tests. When I made the appointment I felt I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Now after been to the fertility clinic to drop hubby's sample off, I feel overwhelmed and the light is fading again. I'm worried that the test results are going to show a problem. We've talked about adoption if worst comes to worse, but I'm now worried that my family wouldn't accept an adopted child through comments that have been made about it. Just wanted to talk to others whom are in the same situation or have been through it.

m33r Wed 10-Aug-16 21:41:56

We went through all the tests and had an adoption plan. At 20 months, I had a laparoscopy. Whilst at home recovering I got my letter for our IVF appt. I got pg that month and our beautiful little boy is 17 months. I never made that IVF appt.

Whatever your family looks like, it will come and when it does, you will realise why it had taken so long because whoever you get (whether by IVF, 'naturally' or through adoption) you will not be able to imagine anything else being so perfect.

Good luck. Hang in there. flowers

peaches88 Thu 11-Aug-16 08:34:07

Hi M33r
Wow, your journey gives me hope. My husband and I are not worried if we have to adopt, we would just like to have our own family and give a child all the love that we have. It's comments that family members have made that suggest that they won't be so accepting.
Thank you for sharing your experience. (Smile)

justtheonethen Thu 11-Aug-16 08:38:51

It can feel overwhelming, I've been there. Think of it this way, if they find a problem they can most likely fix it.
If you do adopt then as m33r says you will have a family and it won't matter how it came about. If your family aren't happy for you then so be it.

I'm 22 months in and having found nothing so far I'm having a laparoscopy next month. We will then have IVF and have an adoption plan if that fails. The story above gives me some small ray of hope!

sk1pper Thu 11-Aug-16 17:52:03

I'm a little behind you OP. Arranged to see a GP but they told me to come back in 6-12 months! Now getting another appointment with a different GP to try and get the fertility tests rolling.

Try not to let the hope fade, mines been a roller coaster these past few months esp when the GP told me to come back another time - how insulting and heart wrenching. You are taking all the right steps, don't be afraid of where it takes you...even if that is adoption. My DH and I have spoke of adoption too, were open to the idea of it though what my family thinks hasn't even crossed my mind. If they had a problem, it's their loss at the end of the day. Family should always be there to support you.

m33r Thu 11-Aug-16 18:01:30

Glad our little story helps! I'm sure you both know this but people often get pg after laparoscopies as it flushes you out (even if there is nothing there!) Good luck with your lovely families xx

peaches88 Fri 12-Aug-16 21:46:19

Sk1pper what a horrible feeling to be told to come back months later, I hope that you'll have better luck this time and be able to have the initial tests done soon. I'm grateful that our GP was very understanding.
I agree with you that family should be supportive, my sister has had a baby a month ago and until then my mum kept saying 'your turn will come' and wouldn't discuss it. However since we've started having the tests, she has been more sympathetic and has stopped with her usual comments, which is a relief.
Justtheonethen I hope that the laparoscopy helps you. I can't start to imagine the pain you are feeling having been trying for as long as you have and still not achieving your dream. I hope you don't have to wait much longer for your little miracle.

justtheonethen Fri 12-Aug-16 22:28:44

Thanks peaches wishing the same for you too. flowers

delilahbucket Fri 12-Aug-16 22:59:53

Hi, we had our tests done and found antibodies on DPs sperm. We've been told our our only hope of conceiving is through icsi to the tune of £4800 (I already have a son). While this news will not give you any hope, I wish I had been better prepared for such information. I assumed that if they found something wrong it could be fixed and we would be on our merry way, to such an extent I hoped they would find something wrong. Unfortunately, in our case, the something wrong cannot ever be fixed.
I wish you the best of luck x

peaches88 Wed 17-Aug-16 09:24:09

Delilahbucket I know the feeling well, I was wanting there to be something wrong so it could be 'fixed', but now that my husband has been told he needs to do another sample, it's all changed. He's googled why he might need to provide another sample and is starting to worry that he is infertile.

delilahbucket Wed 17-Aug-16 12:49:14

Two samples is normal practice for men as it gives a more rounded result. My dp had two tests. The first was the standard motility, count and morphology test. The second was the swim up test which checks if the sperm can swim through cervical fluid to the fallopian tubes. They also tested for antibodies during this test.
Have they given him the results from his first test?

peaches88 Wed 17-Aug-16 13:42:47

Thanks for that info. No he hasn't had the results from the first one as our dr is on holiday and the dr that saw them only works two days. He is waiting to see if a dr can talk to him today about it.

bluebird3 Wed 17-Aug-16 13:52:31

Hi, we are in a very similar situation. We are 16 months Ttc and started tests. I had two rounds of blood tests which both indicate in not ovulating despite having regular 28 day cycles like clockwork. My DH had a SA about a week and a half ago and we were told it would be about 3 weeks until we get the results. Depending on if it's just me or him and me will determine the next steps. The waiting sucks...

delilahbucket Wed 17-Aug-16 21:20:14

It will be interesting to see what his results were peaches. Who requested a second test?

Hi bluebird. It's strange that you have a normal cycle but they say you're not ovulating. Do you have any other signs you're not? Have you tried bbt temping? It will show a temp rise after ovulation which I believe you can only get if you ovulate. I've never had the day 21 test for this. I can only assume it is because there is no reason to suspect I'm not ovulating.
Three weeks is a long wait for results. It took ten days for DP's and only that long because the gp surgery was insistent they hadn't received them or someone had lost them so dp rang the lab himself smile.

bluebird3 Wed 17-Aug-16 23:24:35

hi delilah. It is weird... I went to GP and they always say if I'm having regular cycles they aren't worried about ovulation. But it's standard to to bloods to 'confirm' ovulation. My day 3 tests were fine, but day 21 were inconclusive both times which the gp said meant I wasn't ovulating. I tried bbt for about 3 months. Thought I had a temp rise 2 months, but could be explained by other things...travelling etc. But the 3rd month def no temp rise. I think i do ovulate some months as I seem to have 2 sets of pre af symptoms. Just not ovulating consistently. hmm

peaches88 Thu 18-Aug-16 07:25:20

delilah the dr has requested the second sample.
Bluebird3 have you used ovulation tests? I find them useful along with temping to look at results.

TMI26 Sat 27-Aug-16 16:16:58

Hi peaches, going through a similar dilemma, droppe of hubbys sperm sample 2 weeks ago, confirmed last week that all was okay and I have now been referred to a fertility specialist, waiting for he letter to come through - the sorry test letter took two months!!!!! So am trying to distract myself with other things, my thyroid levels were under active and my bloods have confirmed I am not ovulating I have never had a positive ovulation test (although only used them for three months) I find them too stressful and also little point if I am not ovulating anyway, we DTD regularly and I have always been told that's the best way! Hopefully my referral will not be too long blubird I generally have regular cycles, they are not timely but regularly nonetheless and I was told I am not ovulating so it's definitely possible!

peaches88 Sun 28-Aug-16 10:14:53

TMI26 I hope that you don't have to wait too long. I know how it feels to try to keep your mind distracted, my hubby can't do his second sample for a few weeks. I still haven't had my results from my blood tests as the dr is waiting for both of our results before seeing us. It's so hard knowing that my hubby has had some feedback and I haven't.

TMI26 Sun 28-Aug-16 11:31:59

The waiting is the worst, but think positive at least we are moving forward, something I have discovered is each dr differs, I've had a really hard time with the GP, often been in tears when I come back home from an appointment because they missed something or were so dismissive, however this new Dr joined the practice and has been a breathe of fresh air - really proactive, my hubbys results had not come through when we booked our appointment (needed to book in advance otherwise we never get a slot!) so she said she would phone us and complete the referral without us needing to come back in if my Dh's results were fine. She has been really understanding and taken a no nonsense approach, could you try a different Dr in the same practice or is that not an option?

peaches88 Sun 28-Aug-16 12:15:25

I hadnt thought about seeing another dr, the first dr we saw was lovely but she went in holiday so another dr looked at our results. I may ring on Tuesday to see if the first dr is back from her holiday and go and see her.

bluebird3 Tue 30-Aug-16 10:42:27

Sorry for the delay...I've been on holiday and just generally needed a real from MN.

I have done opks on some cycles but not all. Some times I will get a clear positive and some times a questionable one, but I've never had a clear negative. But I've read that sometimes the LH can fire up giving a pos opk and the egg still doesn't release so not really sure. My periods are regular every month but I do get 2-3 days spotting before and the spotting often includes dark brown dried crumbly old blood that didn't clear out (sorry for the tmi).

I don't think I posted this last time...We got Dh's SA results and he has moderate reduced sperm count. He has to have a second test to confirm and I have to have another blood test. Then we will get the FC referral. It's all very slow.

I am determined to lose some weight to help with things. current BMI is 29 but I know 25 or under is what is healthy so I need to lose 1.5-2 stone. Anyone else have any weight loss tips?

peaches88 Tue 30-Aug-16 12:49:29

Bluebird3 my husband lost a stone in under a year doing the 5:2 diet and going to the gym. He now only needs to loose half a stone. Whereas I'm the opposite and need to put on at least half a stone. Meal times are hard in my house.

physicskate Tue 30-Aug-16 13:08:47

blue bird - have a look at the body coach. The book was helpful... meals are pretty easy and the workouts are fast!

bluebird3 Wed 31-Aug-16 21:53:27

Thanks! I'll check those out. I find meals hard too peaches... I want to do something healthy like chicken and vegetables but then DH acts like I'm starving him and always wants a huge carb option as well. He's a normal weight but can eat Giant portions, so I've put on weight since we got married. Need to find a happy medium!

peaches88 Wed 31-Aug-16 22:03:20

I would cook what you fancy and add pasta or potatoes to your husband's meal, then you don't have to do two meals or have too much.

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