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Planet viroid, a spiritual home for all of the shaggers! It's JS 61, this is going to be the big one!

(1000 Posts)
Tinkfromlovejoy Fri 05-Aug-16 19:47:37

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a Kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like 'something' = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing a Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 59 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Tinkfromlovejoy Fri 05-Aug-16 19:51:58

Sorry, someone add sticky links when they can please. I am a twat and can't manage it on my gas powered kindle grin

Name: Tink
Age: old
Ttc: for fucking ever

chat pretty please put us out of our misery!

Fleurchamp Fri 05-Aug-16 19:56:40

Blatant placemark....

But first:

Name: Fleur
Age: 36
DC: DS 1
Ttc #2 cycle 3
Currently driving myself mad squinting at opks

kwick Fri 05-Aug-16 20:02:57

Thank you so much tink! I have copied the link into the previous Fred. Great Fred title smile

chat PLEASE divulge right this minute!!!!

So I am kwick:
I have a special exception for rule 1 as I am single but going down IVF/IUI route which was granted when I joined the fred at the end of last year grin
I have just turned 42
5 unsuccesful IUIs and 1 successful IVF (which sadly ended in a MC) later I am in the middle of the first part of my second IVF try
Am currently suffering from a very painful outburst of something (geriatric acne?) on my neck and upper back and feeling a tad sorry for myself sad

Lalalalalaa Fri 05-Aug-16 20:03:34

Tink you gorgeous viroid! I saw it!

Also going nuts with contraband. I've got no af to start me off so I've put a pretend one into FF and I'm madly poas opk and ultimate contraband in hope of some kind of cycle emerging. Got my cape on on Monday and flashing smiley today.

Sorry for silence. Busy and tired. B doesn't sleep

Name: La
Age: 36
DC: DS 1, after 2 years ttc and a mc
Ttc #2 cycle whothefuckknows but since May.

Starving. DS finally asleep. Tea!

Chat come put everyone out of their misery!!!

Tinkfromlovejoy Fri 05-Aug-16 20:06:05

Big kisses la I meant it! flowers

jellypi3 Fri 05-Aug-16 20:06:25

Can i placemark? Not because i'm ttc but because i love reading updates from you lot!!

And i want to know chats news!

honeysucklejasmine Fri 05-Aug-16 20:10:03

Tink you little sweetheart! snog

Name: Honey
Age: 30
DC: DD, 5 months
TTC: cycle #5 since birth (yes, 5! Fucking witch!) not actively ttc yet.

If you recall, I have endometriosis so I am currently finding my periods becoming more and more painful each time. So when I am too ill to look after dd, the condoms come off. Before the year is out, I imagine.

justtheonethen Fri 05-Aug-16 20:23:17

Lovely to see so many old faces smile, although it's reminding me what a barren old witch I am!

chat! News! Now!

Age: 33 for another month
TTC: 2 years
DC: 0
Waiting for laparoscopy start of next month when I'm back from my travels. Hoping it's the solution to all my problems, more worried it won't be and I'll lose my mind completely. To distract myself I'm planning my wedding for a month after the lap.

jellypi3 Fri 05-Aug-16 20:32:57

Oh no honey i didnt realise they were getting worse sad

I might as well do my roll call

Name: jelly
Age: 26
DC: 1 DD (6 mths)
TTC: might be sooner than planned if work doesn't agree to my part time work request!

So im gettig married in 3 weeks... shock

ChatEnOeuf Fri 05-Aug-16 20:37:49

I don't know what you're all on about <whistles>

DPet: Increasingly weird tabby cat
DC: DD4, DS 36/40 born sleeping
TTC#3 POAFRER and...well...this happened

jellypi3 Fri 05-Aug-16 20:47:52

Eeeeeeeeek! grin congrats chat!!!

tink <3 saw the shoutout!

honeysucklejasmine Fri 05-Aug-16 20:49:24

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I love your news Chat

Jelly yeah, last time I was on the codeine 6 hourly, so once I get to the two hourly cycling of drugs I will be tossing the condoms. Dh and I both agree we'd rather I be pregnant than on my period. And rather have a smaller gap and whip out my womb than string out the pain forever.

Of course, I do need to start speaking to the gp about hysterectomy now. So they don't think I am a raving crazy preggo when I ask.

honeysucklejasmine Fri 05-Aug-16 20:50:31

Just hello my lovely. We have seen Country's face and it was beautiful! Are you still abroad then?

Fleurchamp Fri 05-Aug-16 20:57:13

Love, love that news chat grin

This Fred is off to a great start!

That's a real shame about AF honey - mine have been way less painful, strangely. But it also means I get no AF warning shock

Come on over to the dark side jelly

Is there an undergrads FB group? Can anyone add me?

I have been thinking that if we don't conceive in the next 3 months I am going to ask my GP to investigate whether the fibroids which were discovered when I was pregnant with DS have anything to do with it... I forgot about them!

Tinkfromlovejoy Fri 05-Aug-16 20:59:48


ZylaB Fri 05-Aug-16 21:10:45

Yay chat!!

ZylaB Fri 05-Aug-16 21:12:30

DCs: one dd nearly 18 months
Ttc#2 but failing miserably as apparently not ovulating since mc in May sad

Ov sticks have always worked well for me, so I'm still broken but will hang around and see what happens.

Fx for everyone!

kwick Fri 05-Aug-16 21:22:22

Amazeballs news chat well done!!!!!! starstarstar great way to start a new fred!!!!

zyla hang in there! I am still not right and I had MC in April.

ZylaB Fri 05-Aug-16 21:30:22

I'm ancient though kwick will be 39 in a few months!

Tinkfromlovejoy Fri 05-Aug-16 21:57:16

chat I couldn't be happier for you! Big happy dance! shockgrinsmileflowers
Am intent on joining you soon. have the ewcm, say no more

ScottishLady7 Fri 05-Aug-16 23:23:19

Congrats, chat!!! grin

Name: Scottish
Age: 27
DCs: nil
TTC #1 since Oct 2015... No BFP as yet.

Here's to a lucky new Fred! Good work tink smile

justtheonethen Sat 06-Aug-16 02:09:34

I'm so happy chat <weeps>. Massive hugs and happy dances. flowers in case you feel wobbly.

Yay jelly I'm getting married in 11 weeks and have nothing booked yet so exciting!

tink we will both be joining the preggos soon, we will. <stares sternly at womble>

honey <waves> hello! Sounds like a plan, babies much better than pain! Still abroad, back in 2 weeks.

country's face is indeed lovely, now to convince her to photograph my wedding! wink

DP looking at wedding venues this weekend so fingers crossed we get it booked tomorrow.

fleur there is indeed, ask lil to add you if no one else does as I'm not sure how!

wine all round as needed

ChatEnOeuf Sat 06-Aug-16 08:33:04

Ooh, I do love wedding planning!

Honey I'm sorry the witch is getting as bad again - mine were slightly less painful post-delivery both times. Though to be fair, I've either been pregnant or post MC/delivery for most of the last 3 years! So I've always had something to blame a painful one on.

Tink: Cape! Say no more. grin Thanks for the love smile

Damn straight you're hanging around Zy. I don't think I ovulated until November after DS was born. It sometimes does take some time to settle down. Or, maybe you POADuffS. Not out, keep shagging...

Fleur I might be able to add you, let me try. Not quite as lively as the grads group, just to warn you!

angelazul Sat 06-Aug-16 09:17:26

Eeep congratulations Chat!! Fantastic start to the new thread, gx it's a lucky one.

Name: Angel
Age: 34
DC: 0
TTC: #1 since Aug 15

AF much heavier this month. I think it's a good sign that my womb lining is thicker, so I'll take it as a positive while moping in bed with a hot water bottle & cuppa tea courtesy of dh

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