TTC after miscarriage thread #6

[jodiebee664]

New thread for all navigating the bewildering world of trying to conceive after a miscarriage. Whether you have dc or are ttc your first, all are welcome here. We share the positive, the negative and the down right confusing.

Here's link to previous thread...www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2657346-TTC-after-miscarriage-thread-5?noti=1#62460035

[jodiebee664]

Hope you ladies find the new thread...

[McBaby]

Hello to every one on the new thread.

jpeg2 that sounds tough.

I was presuming it was still a positive from the miscarriage hoping it is negative soon. They never said anyone about going back as my scan was clear. I also spoke to the go today who was more concerned it was a new pregnancy and might be ectopic as my scan was clear last week which is now stressing me out! She said to test again next week and if still positive and she will do blood tests but if I'm in pain go to a&e. Thoroughly confused and have just wanted to cry all day but I have a house full of builders!

[jodiebee664]

When was your mc mcbaby and when did you have the scan?

I think I recognise your name from a thread I joined about being due in Feb 2017, so sorry to see you here now too. :(

[McBaby]

I had miscarriage 2.5 weeks ago and the scan last Friday.

Yes I was on the February 2017 group. I should have been 10 weeks at the miscarriage but the baby was only measuring 4 weeks.

[jodiebee664]

I'm so sorry to hear that, so tough isn't it. And so difficult not knowing what's going on with your body afterwards.

Is it definite that it's not a new pregnancy - it would be early days so wouldnt show on a scan anyway would it? Did they not do a blood test now?

[McBaby]

it could be v early days but I feel that it's from last time. I will see what the test shows over the next week and speak to the GP again.

I hate confusion and like definitive answers!!

[jodiebee664]

I'm the same....and I hate waiting.

I wish there was more follow up care too - I know it's not that easy and the NHS are overstretched as it is but I just felt a bit abandoned afterwards.

[Alb1]

Just checking into the new thread, nothing to report here CD10, not doing opk's this month as I'm not sure I can ovulate yet anyway, got a phone appointment with the GP tomorrow so am going to push for a scan or more tests.

mrs iv not advice but I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you!

[AmyB1986]

Hi all just checking in marking my place. Af hit me, I'm cd5 now.
Still poorly too, ear infections back as well as a chest infection and a throat infection.

Still not caught up with the thread, sorry. Not taking much in at all at the min

[INeedNewShoes]

Found you Sorry I didn't post again yesterday. I only had my phone for MN and struggled to find the new thread.

Thanks to Jodie, MrsUnsure and jpeg for your support yesterday. It really made a difference to know that my negativity was in the normal range of things considering the MC. I pulled myself together and had the IUI which went smoothly.

I'm still not feeling positive about the whole thing but I suspect it's self-preservation on some level. I think there's a small part of me that doesn't want this IUI to work because I know that I will find my next pregnancy very hard with all the doubts following the MC. Maybe I'm not robust enough and should have waited longer to try again? But since the MC I've just been feeling so determined to get on with trying again. This negativity that only sprung up yesterday really took me by surprise.

To answer the question about support, I have a wonderful support network in place. This was something I explored when I was making the decision to go down the TTC on my own route in the first place as it will be so important if/when I do have a child that I have good support and that my child can benefit from various role models in the absence of a father. If my family/friends hadn't been supportive of my plans I wouldn't have gone ahead with it. One of the positive things about the MC was that certain friends really came up trumps in terms of offering brilliant support. My parents are also very pro what I am doing and when I had to have the ERPC came and stayed with me to look after me for a few days. So I feel that I have a proven support network, as well as very lucky to have such amazing friends!

McBaby I had a MMC. The foetus had stopped growing at 7 weeks, but that wasn't discovered until 11 weeks and then I had an ERPC at 12 weeks. Even given the ERPC and the fact the foetus had stopped growing weeks before, it took three weeks for my HPTs to turn negative.

[Miami81]

Hi just checking into new thread.
Glad you went for the iui new shoes. Fingers crossed for you that this is your time.
I am on cd3. This is third cycle since mc and I must say the first one that feels like my normal periods used to. I am choosing to see this as a positive as the post mc periods were freaking me out. So August bus for me hopefully.

[Miami81]

Understandable Mrs. But I would try and go as late as you can tolerate. Let's say that was implantation bleed, they say that it normally wouldn't appear on a test until 4/5 days after implantation. Could you get through to 11/12 dpo before testing do you think? Don't want you to be disappointed but understand completely the need to know. Best of luck

[Lizziedoll]

Hello everyone my name is Lizzie I'm 29 and was TTC my first child, I got pregnant but sadly am going through a miscarriage at the moment (I was around 6 weeks pregnant). I am absolutely devastated and I feel this has put a huge strain on my relationship, my boyfriend has assured me he won't leave and that we can one day try again but I feel he might just say that to comfort me. I would really like to start trying again as soon as possible but I'm unsure about how to ask him if he wants to. I feel that if he said no it would just add to my grief and sense of loss. I also worry that this miscarriage was due to something physically wrong with me and I am scared it could happen again. I would appreciate advice and support.

[jodiebee664]

Hey girls,

Happy weekend! Welcome Lizzie, sorry you're here but as Mrs said, it can get easier.

I'm hoping someone can help with what might be going on with me...for once I'm wondering where the blooming heck my AF is!

4th May - first day of last period pre being pg
10th June - bleeding happened for a couple of days then stopped
17th June - scan showing nothing then, blood test done etc
19th June - mc confirmed
6th July - some spotting for a couple of days then stopped

But since then, no AF has appeared, I even did a test this morning thinking maybe we'd got very lucky at some point in there and I was pg but no it was BFN.

I wanted a follow up doc appointment anyway but am definitely going to arrange one for next week now!

[Brenna24]

Well done with going ahead Newshoes. I really hope this is the one for you.

Amy, you poor soul. That sounds awful. I hope you get better soon.

Leave it as long as possible Mrs. Knowing won't change the out come either way.

jodie, your cycles are maybe just a bit out of whack now. Hopefully they settle soon.

I have joined a gym this week. I've put on over 2 stone over the last year with all the pregnancies and miscarriages. My induction was thursday night and I did my first class this morning. Bodypump. Ouch. Not having a clue I just booked one in for a time that suited me. Apparently it is quite a hard one to start on. I survived though. Afterwards I went to get new trainers as my current ones are just slightly too narrow and make my feet ache. I got gait analysis done first. That was hilarious. The leg that I thought would be bad has the best gait he has ever seen. He says it is perfectly straight and just like the textbook ones in their training. Not bad after torn cartilage and 8 dislocations. My other leg, however, pronates quite a bit and flops all over the place. It took ages to find a combination of shoes and insoles that helped it. I didn't want pink shoes, so of course the ones which did work well were the brightest pink in the shop. Oh well, I look suitable girly now and it gave us a laugh.

[INeedNewShoes]

Thanks Brenna

I'm a bit podgy too - mostly down to the lack of exercise when I was pregnant (usually I cycle a lot and play badminton which is enough to offset my love of food ) and then comfort eating and sitting around a lot after the miscarriage. If this month's IUI doesn't work I'll be doing some serious exercise until the next IUI.

I overpronate too and am prone to stress fractures so need good footwear. I ended up with the trainers I objected to the most aesthetically as well - pink and lime green! But there was just no denying that they were the best shoe for my silly feet so I put health over looks.

[INeedNewShoes]

Jodie I remember reading that it can take up to seven weeks after a miscarriage for AF to arrive.

Even after my chemical pregnancy (which happened with IUI No. 1 before IUI No. 2 that led to the proper pregnancy and miscarriage) when I had a very very early miscarriage within a week of the BFP my cycle went totally skewy. I ovulated a full week later in my cycle that month than I usually would as well.

[Brenna24]

Sorry Lizzie I missed you earlier. I am so sorry for your loss. I think the worrying is normal. The way I try to see it is that our bodies are supposed to reject embryos which aren't absolutely perfect. So it is not that our bodies are broken and doing it wrong, but that they are doing it right, it is just that unfortunately for us we got a duff embryo (or 3 in my case). I am in the process of going through all the blood tests at the recurrent miscarriage clinic and so far everything has come back normal. So I am trying to take it that my body is working and that just either DH's swimmers are a bit sub par in the morphology department (he has a variety of auto-immune and inflammatory conditions, so not inconceivable) or my eggs are getting a bit battered with age (I'm 38 and by 40 your chances of a miscarriage are 50%, so that is fairly likely). I am trying to just think that if we try often enough we will get a sticky one. Everything crossed for you that you were just unlucky and the next one is
a sticky bean.

Newshoes I think I would actually prefer pink and lime green, at least I like the lime green in there, but as you say safety over aesthetics all the way. And nobody is every going to miss me coming in these babies. I am exactly the same as you, pregnancy and then comfort eating post m/c has really been my downfall. That and my poor old dog is now too old to go for long walks, so I am suddenly only walking him for about 20 minutes, not 2 or 3 hours of an evening. I am now determined to spend any minute I am not pregnant getting into shape. That will make the time feel more productive.

I have just spent 3 hours weeding the allotment, which is a jungle after our holiday. I have also now done 19,500 steps as well as the cycle to gym, the class (which will have counted towards my steps) and the running on the treadmill while testing trainers.

[Lizziedoll]

Thank you everyone for your kind words and support. Does anyone know if I should/can get tests done after one mc? I hear they generally don't investigate until you've had 2 or 3. We got pregnant the first month we tried and I wasn't even monitoring my ovulation so I guess we are either pretty fertile or that I just got lucky. I'm not even sure I want to try again right now as I'm miscarrying at the minute and although physically it's manageable (like a bad period), emotionally it's been incredibly hard. I guess what added to the pain is how optimistic we were, we never thought this would happen. I suppose next time we won't get too excited or tell anyone until after the 12 week scan. Hugs to everyone who has gone through this, it is just the worst

[INeedNewShoes]

Hi Lizzie The NHS don't tend to do any testing until you've had two or three miscarriages. Because miscarriage is so very common (1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage) it just wouldn't be sustainable for the NHS to investigate every MC.

You could pay to see a miscarriage specialist privately but from what I've seen it is very costly (£2500 starting point for tests and a consultation). Even with testing you may never find out the reason.

I know it's hard continuing TTC now that we know how vulnerable we are to MC, but really just because you have had one MC really does not point to you having a health issue that has caused it so the best thing to do is allow yourself some recovery time, then pick yourself up and have another go