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Too scared to test

(15 Posts)
CandyCrush77 Mon 30-May-16 17:28:15

Month 7 of TTC. We've DTD pretty much every day this month. Have forced myself not to symptom spot after convincing myself last month that I had symptoms and getting a BFN. Cannot face the disappointment again this month so really trying to not let myself think a BFP is even a possibility. Hard though! AF due tomorrow. Feeling knackered and boobs hurt but both signs of PMT and had these last month and zilch. Anyone else in the same boat? How do you avoid the build up then the crushing disappointment?

MmmMalbec Mon 30-May-16 18:54:23

I've just started TTC2 so I'm not in the same boat but when I was TTC1 I was too scared to test as well so I think I'll be the same this time. It's such a shitty brutal game. I've no advice really but plenty of sympathy. Really hope AF stays away for you flowers

physicskate Mon 30-May-16 18:58:40

Maybe wait until AF is late? Would it be better to get a bfn or af? Fingers crossed AF doesn't show!!

MmmMalbec Mon 30-May-16 19:10:04

I waited until AF was a day late because I would have rather seen AF than a BFN. Those few minutes when you're waiting for the line to show up make me feel sick confused!!

CandyCrush77 Mon 30-May-16 19:16:10

Thanks all. Was never too scared with DSs as it happened right away! More the other way as in, fear of a BFP! DS2 wasn't planned so it was very much a feeling of shock and horror. Took a long time to get used to the idea. Feels so ironic to be in this position now!

Think I would rather wait for AF because i) you can't argue with AF whereas with a BFN you can always think you tested too early and ii) would rather live with the teeniest bit of hope for as long as possible before getting that BFN.

Good luck to everyone else trying. Hope that one day it will happen for all of us.

CandyCrush77 Mon 30-May-16 19:19:00

And yes, those minutes are dreadful! So brutal when there is clearly nothing and you try so hard to see something. Then the questioning. Why didn't it happen?

MmmMalbec Tue 31-May-16 06:26:32

I agree with the definitivite nature of AF as oppose to a BFN. I had one month when I was TTC1 where I was sure I was pregnant but I wasn't and was just having an insanely long cycle. Staring at those BFNs willing something to appear was horrendous. So I vowed never to take another test unless I knew it would be positive. So when I did get my BFP it was instantly positive before I even threw my pot of wee away!!! Such a relief. Anyway I'm waffling. Good luck. If you get your BFP today let us know smile

m33r Tue 31-May-16 06:52:49

Fingers crossed for you today x

CandyCrush77 Tue 31-May-16 11:33:12

Thanks all. Trying not to be but am on tenterhooks. No AF so far, just praying she stays away. Very hard as do have twinges in tummy and boobs but could just as easily be AF. Will also definitely not test until I am at least 3 days late. Pretty sure AF will arrive today or tomorrow anyway.

CandyCrush77 Tue 31-May-16 14:40:33

Sorry, TMI but went to the loo expecting to see AF and nothing. When I wiped I saw two light pink spots. Very strange for me as my period usually starts as if someone has turned on a tap! I know I must not get my hopes up but could this be an implantation bleed or is it too late? Seems a bit odd it would be exactly when my period is due. Must just be the start of AF. Bloody body! The tricks!

MmmMalbec Tue 31-May-16 15:10:52

So hard to know. How many DPO does your period usually start? I'd imagine 14dpo is too late for an implantation bleed. I started spotting at 10dpo but then it stopped and I got my BFP. But other months I started spotting at 10dpo and AF arrived at 14dpo. Such a hard one to call. Good luck!

CandyCrush77 Tue 31-May-16 15:20:04

Periods very regular, always 14 DPO. So today is the day. Sure it will start any minute. Grrrr!

CandyCrush77 Tue 31-May-16 16:09:10

It's definitely AF. Gutted. 7th month of TTC. Feel like it's never going to happen.

MmmMalbec Tue 31-May-16 16:34:32

Sorry to hear that, so rubbish. You've got to keep positive though and remember you have other children. Some people have been trying a lot longer for number one. That's how I'm going to try and think anyways flowers

m33r Tue 31-May-16 20:02:02

Sorry candy x

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