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please help me get perspective- bad day

(7 Posts)
opalescent Wed 25-May-16 11:13:18

I want to start by apologising to anyone who has been trying for much, much longer than me... I have nothing but empathy and I know that I shouldn't be feeling this upset at this point..

But, my fourth af is arriving imminently after I started trying. I have a lovely 3 year old ds by a previous partner- it was a horrible relationship and I raised ds alone for the first two years.
I have a fantastic new dp who has no children, and we really want a baby together. I also just feel so ready for another baby and want to have the experience of a baby in a good relationship, where I'm not doing it alone. Most of ds babyhood was a blursad.

I have regular cycles and seem to be ovulating. We could probably dtd more than we have been

I felt sure we'd cracked it this month.

I feel surrounded by pregnant people!! Everyone I talk to seeks to have conceived their first cycle of trying..

Please say something reassuring, I feel so sad today.

Brenna24 Wed 25-May-16 11:34:29

Each month is like a mini-loss, whether it is your first or your 21st. So don't apologise for feeling like that. flowers A year is quite average for people to take to get pregnant, so you are still in with plenty of chances yet. And when it does happen you are going to have a wonderful experience watching your partner bond with his baby, be a proper dad and support you in enjoying motherhood. Try and remind yourself that you are just working towards that and that you maybe need a few pratice months to get into the swing of things. I suggest falling face first into some chocolate cake and buying yourself something as a treat.

Lex0503 Wed 25-May-16 13:15:39

I know the feeling it is such a disappointment and it's the thought of waiting a whole other month and then the fear of being in the same position again the next month. I am trying for my first and am on cycle 3. I decided this month to just stop worrying and know that it will happen when it's meant to happen. I felt like I had to be Pregnant RIGHT NOW and then my life would become 100x better, when actually my life is really great already and I should just keep enjoying my life as it is now and if pregnancy happens now or in 12 months does it really matter. It sounds like you have a lovely bf, lovely son, summers coming so try and focus on what's already amazing and see the TTC as an exciting side project xxxx

opalescent Wed 25-May-16 14:02:44

Thank you so much for the lovely replies, both just what I needed to hear. It's so good to be able to talk to people who understand the disappointment.

I can't believe how overwhelming the need to be pregnant can be!!

ThePartyArtist Wed 25-May-16 17:43:32

I feel for you, I really do. I'm just waiting for circumstances to be right to start trying - it won't be long, but in the meantime I am finding it so bittersweet seeing friends pregnant / with babies. Seems to be all of them!

You will get there. Obviously pregnancy is the goal but try to concentrate on the journey together... indulge in the romantic side of baby making, which you'll soon have less time / inclination for, and hopefully it will all work out soon.

opalescent Wed 25-May-16 18:52:28

Thankyou party, and good luck for when you start.

ThePartyArtist Wed 25-May-16 23:57:45

It's so hard isn't it!

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