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Ttc immediately after a miscarriage, can anyone offer some advice?

(24 Posts)
jinglebellmel Wed 11-May-16 08:32:30

Hi all, I had a medical miscarriage yesterday, I know it's very soon to be thinking about ttc but me and my dh both want to start again ASAP. The nurse at epu advised I wated until I'd had a normal period and the consultant said to wait 3 months. However I've read on the miscarriage association website that this is purely for dating purposes and there is no increased risk in trying straight away. Stupidly I didn't query this at the time as I just wasn't feeling up to a debate about it.

I'm pretty sure the 3 months is unnecessary but logically I'm wondering if my womb lining would be thick enough after all the clotting/bleeding and if I might be more likely to miscarry again if I start before having a normal period. Any advice?

Brenna24 Wed 11-May-16 11:56:32

I am so sorry for your loss. flowers I didn't feel like my body was ready after my first miscarriage. I felt sore and crampy and like it would reject anything that month, even though I went straight into a normal cycle. This time round I miscarried much earlier and I feel just fine, so we are trying straight away again this month. Listen to your body and do what it says.

jinglebellmel Wed 11-May-16 14:36:04

Thanks Brenna, sorry for your loss and good luck with trying again

Philjimmum Wed 11-May-16 14:39:41

I looked into it too and couldn't find any evidence of risk. My consultant in Oxford said the same. I got pregnant the next month and the baby is totally normal.

bekindtome Wed 11-May-16 14:48:59

I only waited 2 week and that's because I has surgical managed and that was the advice to avoid infection. I didn't get pregnant the first month but did the second and dd2 is 3 weeks old now. Hope everything works out for you next time.

Brenna24 Wed 11-May-16 15:21:49

I was told to wait until the bleeding finished beofre having sex again for infection reasons. Luckily this time it was only a short bleed.

jinglebellmel Wed 11-May-16 15:58:58

Thank you all, that's reassuring. Congratulations on your babies!

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Wed 11-May-16 16:03:10

Hi OP, so sorry for your loss.

I had a MC on 1st September 2014- Bleeding stopped after 5 days or so and resumed dtd after this. Fell pregnant on 21st, exactly 3 weeks post mc.

They just used 1st September as initial dating start point, and then when I had my 12 week scan they adjusted my dates slightly.

I was advised that there is no medical need to wait once bleeding has stopped, and my pregnancy was fine and DD2 is now 11 months.

firsttimekat Wed 11-May-16 17:18:38

I also got pregnant straight after my miscarriage, DS is now nearly 2.

I was told it was for dating reasons and since it took us a year to get pregnant the first time I didn't want to wait, very surprised to get pregnant straight away!

I will say that I found pregnancy after miscarriage tough, I'm sure this would have been the case if it was straight away or a year later but it is something to think about. As someone else put it the innocence of pregnancy has been lost and I found I worried all the more.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

jinglebellmel Thu 12-May-16 11:29:38

Thank you all, this has made me more positive! Yes I am a little worried at how stressful I'm going to find this next pregnancy

Purpleprickles Fri 13-May-16 22:56:00

I also got pg straight after surgical management for a mmc. We were just advised to wait until the bleeding stopped which we did. My midwife wasn't at all worried and said it was quite common to happen so quickly.

Like firsttimekat I found my pregnancy tough, I was really anxious and worried throughout and didn't let myself really accept it would have a happy ending. But it did and she is now 9 weeks old. The last year has been quite a head fuck, on the 16th it will be a year since my first scan when we found out about the mmc but now I wouldn't change it for anything.

jinglebellmel Fri 13-May-16 23:08:26

Congratulations purple! I love hearing these positive stories!

sianihedgehog Fri 13-May-16 23:16:36

I also started trying again as soon as the bleeding stopped after surgical management, and was pregnant on the next cycle. I was anxious as all hell until I got well past the point I'd miscarried in the first pregnancy, but I'm glad I didn't wait. Several people told me that I should wait for emotional reasons, but for me that REALLY wouldn't have helped.

Whatsername17 Sat 14-May-16 08:37:05

I waited for a period after experiencing a missed mc at 13 weeks. I had to go through it naturally which was horrendous. I would advise waiting until after you have a negative hpt before you start ttc. You need to check that there is no residual hormones or 'products of conception' (Sorry - I detest that phrase but I don't really know how else to phrase it) before you try again. Ttc after miscarriage is heartbreaking. I've been trying for 5 cycles post miscarriage and each period is devastating. If you can, try and focus on getting yourself to a healthy point and give yourself time to grieve.

jinglebellmel Sat 14-May-16 10:38:36

Thanks Sianihedgehog, congratulations on your pregnancy.

Thanks whatsername, I'm testing hoping to get a negative but still positive at the mo (to be expected I guess as its so soon, I'm just being impatient). So sorry that you're still going through a tough time, I hope you get your pregnancy soon and all goes smoothly.

DrMum83 Sat 14-May-16 19:40:53

Hey, sorry to hear about all of the losses but lovely to hear the success stories too!

My medically managed mmc was 2 weeks ago and I'm still getting weak bfps.
Did the ladies above who conceived pre first AF wait until bfn, or just get on with dtd? I assumed it's impossible to ovulate with bhcg in your system but some of you fell pregnant so quickly, I wondered if it could even be possible?!

Purpleprickles Sat 14-May-16 20:01:31

Drmum I was never told to poas to check it was negative after my erpc so it didn't occur to me. I also only did a pregnancy test about 6 weeks after the procedure because my dh suggested it. I just never thought I'd be pg as we hadn't actively tried just not thought about precautions because we hadn't for so long (we had been waiting 5yrs for another child and before the first preg which miscarried assumed it would never happen).

When I did get a bfp I actually took myself straight to the EPU who had treated me for a mmc in hysterics thinking it was retained products. I wasn't given an earlier scan just a supportive talking to from a midwife who said it wouldn't be that and would be an actual bfp. I'm not sure how she knew for absolute certain but she was right!

DrMum83 Sat 14-May-16 20:07:56

purple aaah thanks for that, your story made me smile! Maybe I should just get on with it then!

jinglebellmel Sun 15-May-16 15:22:48

DrMum I've been told to do a test after 3 weeks and get back in touch with epu if still positive (it is at the moment but only 5 days after the miscarriage at the moment). I presumed you couldn't ovulate until after you got a negative but have heard of people who are convinced they have so really not sure. And would you be likely to ovulate 2 weeks after the negative test or 2 weeks after the miscarriage?! It's quite confusing.... I'm a bit nervous of trying before I get a bfn though as not sure I can deal with the emotional upheaval of a possible false positive. Sorry for your loss and hope you are managing okay.

Sgoinneal Sun 15-May-16 15:26:29

I miscarried in June last year - by September I had a bfp and baby is due any day. I had no periods though (unreliable cycles is an ongoing problem with me) so had no idea if I was ovulating. I'd say if you have regular cycles and you get a period best wait till then for dating purposes but basically go for it. good luck flowers

Fraggled Sun 15-May-16 15:29:36

Hi OP. Sorry to hear about your miscarriage sad

I didn't wait longer than one cycle after mine, and the resulting 2.5 yr old is currently sat on my knee demanding breadsticks!

KittensandKnitting Sun 15-May-16 15:44:28

Sorry for the loses it is so sad to hear but it is lovely to hear the success stories!

I sadly have had five miscarriages and each has been very different. It took well over a month for my sticks to turn into a negative after a loss at 10 weeks, followed by spotting a period of sorts and then I finally ovulated after my second period.

With my chemical niscarriages I've ovulated two weeks after on a couple of occasions this time I'm on CD20 and still no blooming smiley face or even a high - I use the clear blue monitor because without it I would just send myself into an awful spin it's about the only thing that keeps me saine of sorts smile

Your body may be ready before you are emotionally, soon as you ovulate you can get pregnant so try to be prepared for the emotional side of things that can hit you months after. So lots of love and support is required flowers

What I would say that no mater what you decide to do, do wait for that negative, having had a false positive on one occasion I can honestly say that it nearly as bad, and when you realise it's not a BFP it really is heartbreaking.

I keep everything Crossed for you xx

mininionsteve Sun 15-May-16 15:45:44

Sorry for your loss flowersI lost my baby in August last year. I had one period (not trying but not being careful) was pregnant again before the second one came. Am now 6 and a half weeks away from meeting baby. The most stressful part for me was being so cautious and worried before the first scan. Since then I've found I could handle it all better and enjoy the process. Still have niggles in the back of my mind but it's better to keep positive smile

jinglebellmel Tue 17-May-16 19:01:02

Thanks all, and sorry for all your losses. I really appreciate you taking the time to reply. Thought I was getting there, it's been a week now and then bloody spotting started again this morning. Just so desperate to get in with things, it's so frustrating!

Kittens I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this so many times, my heart really goes out to you. I hope that you get a successful pregnancy very soon. I totally agree about the false positive,I'm so eager to get going but will wait until I have a negative test first.

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