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Have you told family and friends your ttc?

(20 Posts)
babydances Tue 10-May-16 13:13:08

I appear to struggle to not contain my excitement at telling my friends. However now that af has definitely appeared today I wonder if I shouldn't have.

Do you tell close friends you are ttc?

ohnonotanother1 Tue 10-May-16 13:49:43

No I don't but I find it really hard to answer questions about it. We have a one year old so people have started asking about when no2 will arrive. We've been trying for a couple of months so I don't really want to lie and then suddenly Spring a pregnancy out of nowhere but I also don't really want people knowing. I don't want to have to discuss with people of it ends up taking ages, I don't want to discuss disappointment if it never happens and I don't want to have to lie during the first 12 weeks if it does happen. It's hard enough to keep those weeks hidden without people looking for signs. Good luck!

Junosmum Tue 10-May-16 17:05:01

No. Didn't want people asking if it didn't happen.

One friend knew, as we'd talked about when we might want to have kid and we realized we'd be trying at the same times. I don't regret telling her, however, I got pregnant quickly, and over a year later she hasn't conceived- I don't mention it, but it's kind of the elephant in the room.

Allyouneedisloveandadog Wed 11-May-16 06:33:30

I haven't told anyone as I would hate people to keep asking me if it had happened yet. In fact I dismiss having a baby any time soon when anyone asks including my best friend. I am quite a private person though when it comes to myself.

MrsJoeyMaynard Wed 11-May-16 06:47:27

I've never told anyone when I've been ttc. As with pp, I wouldn't want people asking questions if it was taking a while, or watching me for signs of pregnancy.

But it does mean sometimes having to make up evasive answers if people start asking whether we're trying, when can they expect to hear the pitter patter of tiny feet, etc. Some people (oddly, almost all acquaintances rather than friends / family) have not at all shy about asking me about these things.

Dozer Wed 11-May-16 06:50:36

People should mind their own business! It's very personal.

ftmsoon Wed 11-May-16 06:54:04

I have told people we can't afford another DC until DD is at school so we have a few years in which we can TTC privately. I had enough stress from others during pregnancy, I definitely don't need it TTC!

PirateFairy45 Wed 11-May-16 06:57:38

Personally I wouldn't. It'll be the constant 'are you pregnant yet?'

And what if you really struggle, or have an early miscarriage. That would hurt

DizzyNorthernBird Wed 11-May-16 08:12:03

I have as I don't see why it should be such a taboo subject, especially if struggling. I've been ttc for 18 months and if anyone asks I just tell them. Obviously I don't go into details but I usually make a joke out of it. People never mention it to me unless I bring it up after telling them, even close family. Maybe I'm just lucky though but it helps not bottling it up.

KiwiLaura Wed 11-May-16 08:28:48

We made the mistake of telling people we were TTC for #1. It took 4 years and 4 losses and clomid. DS is coming up for 2 now and despite people being highly aware of our struggle last time I am constantly bombarded with questions on when #2 is coming, when I haven't said we are TTC at all. I can't imagine how much more intense it would get if I said we were, especially with the same old wives tails that get tossed in - despite knowing we have issues. We won't be mentioning anything until I fall pregnant and have a healthy 12 week scan.

AliceScarlett Thu 12-May-16 06:06:51

No. I think it's too private and I wouldn't want people talking about my cycles confused

My colleague has told a lot of people at work, she gets asked about it all the time and now she has been trying for 2 years it is really wearing her down.

Willberry Thu 12-May-16 23:46:30

My DH has told work collegues and his Mum, I've asked him not to tell anyone else as I don't want the pressure of expectations. To be honest though I'm 33 and we got married last year so aware that everyone is expecting us to be TTC. My work collegues are aware I'm broody but haven't specifically told them we are TTC except my boss as had to explain why I couldn't commit to doing something she wanted me to do this year.

kimball Fri 13-May-16 08:36:13

No, we never told anyone with and I'm so glad we didn't.

steffw89 Fri 13-May-16 10:32:16

Understand where you are coming from we are trying for our first in a couple of weeks (booked appointment to get implant out first) and I'm really excited and just want to tell people and ask advice etc but I feel like I shouldn't. Like I'm bugging people or its just not something people want to talk about. This is why I joined this forum!

orangebird69 Fri 13-May-16 20:47:15

I told one good friend. Because of mine and dh's ages (38 & 45 when we started ttc), we didn't want to get anyones hopes up. It took us 13 months but we now have the most perfect 7mo ds smile

Whatsername17 Sat 14-May-16 16:19:07

I didn't. However, everyone knows that we are ttc number 2 as I miscarried at 13 weeks in January. It was horrendous and I needed support so even though nobody knew I was pregnant, I told people. I can't pretend we aren't trying now but people still tend to ask to be fair. That is probably the only silver lining is that I don't have to listen to the 'don't you think it's about time you had another?' Crap.

Whatsername17 Sat 14-May-16 16:19:58

Don't tent to ask^

wispaxmas Sat 14-May-16 19:07:54

Only a couple of my close girl friends who are on the same page in terms of where our lives are at the minute. It's good to have people to rant to about stuff at times. No family, though, or other friends.

emalady Wed 18-May-16 12:54:38

We didn't tell anyone initially but as we are the last of our friends there were a couple of questions and a few people now know we have been trying for a while and not got anywhere, my sister also knows I have had to have bloods etc as nothing happening. Needed a couple of people to know and help deflect the odd don't you want kids then? which I can cope with most the time but occasionally makes me want to cry.

MegGriffin1 Thu 19-May-16 22:29:06

No I find people very nasty and bitchy in general and as I have fertility problems I don't want to be made to feel a failure as I do that all to myself with no one else's help!

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