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Scared of pregnancy

(8 Posts)
ayesar Mon 02-May-16 03:59:42

I have 2 boys with my husband. We decided on trying for a third late last year but it ended with miscarriage at 11 weeks. Since then he decided he doesn't want any more kids. I think about having another but had a lot of doubts and concerns with adding another to our family. Since the mc on Feb 15 I had one period on March 14 and then another one on April 1. Now today is day 31 of my cycle and no period yet. There were a couple times we had sex when I believed it was safe (well prior to ovulation and after), but now I'm scared. I haven't tested because I'm very scared. I had all the classic period symptoms a week ago (acne and cramps) and thought it was coming, but nothing yet. If it's positive I'm scared my hubby will ask for an abortion. I am hoping my cycles are just screwed up and my period will come.

Can anyone share their experience after miscarriage at 11 weeks in terms of their first few periods?

fuzzywuzzy Mon 02-May-16 04:16:58

I'm sorry about your miscarriage.

In the nicest possible way, you need it get a test and see if you are pregnant. Then decide what you want to do.

Also if you don't want a baby having unprotected around ovulation is not effective birth control. You and your DH need to rethink that.

I hope everything is ok and you have the outcome you want.

chelle792 Mon 02-May-16 06:55:54

I hope you're ok this morning, op. I had a miscarriage in the summer at 11.5 weeks. We took a break from ttc and I've now recently found out I'm pregnant.

It's terrifying. I kind of wish I wasn't and I feel awful that I want this baby a lot less than the one I lost.

I just can't get excited yet and am only wondering whether I'm bringing heartbreak again.

Fwiw, my periods were regular after my miscarriage.

ayesar Mon 02-May-16 12:11:02

I know, I am usually so anal about making sure we use protection and covering all the bases. This time, I don't know why, I thought my cycle would be the same as it was before since I had s couple of periods since my miscarriage, so I just timed it. I usually ovulate around day 16 on my normal cycle and we had sex in day 10 and day 20 without protection. Now I'm thinking my cycles must have still been messed up and who knows when I ovulated. I will take a test today and let you know.

ayesar Tue 03-May-16 03:40:01

I took a test today and it was positive. I was so scared to tell my hubby as I thought he would be really upset. Instead he was kind of neutral and said he's fine about the news. But he also said that he is not going to ask me anything about the pregnancy for the next 3 months until we pass the safe mark. That's kind of weird isn't it? It's fine though, I don't need to talk about it. I am scared myself and hoping I make it to 3 months this time. Last time I miscarried just 3 days before my ultrasound was scheduled.

BoBo90 Tue 03-May-16 06:53:25

Hi, congratulations. I know it might be daunting at the moment because you're nervous about another mc but so is your dh. I think his response is a defence mechanism. Basically he is going to ignore the fact your pregnant until after the 12 weeks so he won't be upset (or so he hopes) if you mc. It's man logic 🙄
Do you think you subconsciously wanted to try again so weren't as careful? I really hope after 12 weeks you can both relax and really enjoy the pregnancy 😊 And remember you had two full term pregnancies so your body can do it again! Best of luck X

chelle792 Tue 03-May-16 08:02:37

It sounds like he's scared of another loss. My dh is very low key about my pregnancy this time and doesn't really want to talk about it much. I know that it's because he's terrified of going through it again. You're similar to me - I lost at 11.5 weeks, only about five or so days before my scan

ayesar Tue 03-May-16 18:03:31

Yes I do think he's scared that I will miscarry again, and he doesn't want it to affect him either way. He said he just wants to enjoy the summer and not think about this :/ He said he doesn't want to get excited or feel resentment until he knows it's a fact for sure. I'm not really happy that he said something about resentment. I know he was happy with 2 and chances are he wouldn't want to have a 3rd at any point. I feel bad and dont want this baby to be a burden. We are able to do so many things now that our kids are older and if the baby comes it will be so crazy again for a few years. Hubby and I won't get to go out again, no traveling for a while, he will have to stop his sports, I will have to stop going to yoga.

When I picture 3 kids in my mind it seems like a huge family. But I'm determined to make it work. I just really hope everything works out for the best and I don't feel like it changed everything for the worse.

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