anyone ttc in rented?(20 Posts)
Hello me and my husband are stuck in the rental trap in London, saving to buy but feeling like the goalposts keep moving
We are in our early 30s and want to start a family - are trying now - but I feel anxious and a bit sad doing this in a home that isn't ours.
Is anyone else in this situation? Is it just a reality of our generation / living in London? Do you think it's okay to have a baby in a rented place?
Any thoughts welcome. Am feeling pretty blue.
There are millions of families who will never hope to own a home and who reproduce. Of course it is OK to have a baby in a rented place. 37% of families with children do. If you have to stay put for the foreseeable future anyway then go for it.
That said: if buying might be within reach sooner than 5 years then be aware (something I didn't know till it happened to me) that if you are pregnant or have a preschool child when you apply for a mortgage it will significantly reduce the amount that banks will lend you so if stretching/relocating to buy is within reach in the next 2/3 years and you will still be under 35 then delaying ttc until that is done might be prudent.
Also be aware that it would be a nightmare to move areas between the December before any DC starts school (which is the September after they turn 4) and the July of their Year 2 (which would be 3.5 years later) because of how school admissions work - this will affect you in rented accommodation too if you regularly have to move to cheaper areas as rents are increased, but could be worse if it's the big move for buying.
Thanks for your reply. We are aiming to buy within two years, but to be honest I don't want to put off trying that long. As for timing it with school years - I'm not sure we'd ever have a baby if we tried planning it to that level of detail.
I'd never heard of being penalised by the banks / mortgage lenders for having a young child or being pregnant. That's worrying
Hi Jem, I'm sorry you're worried over this. I just wanted to say that I know tons of people in your situation - having kids while renting in London - and think it will be increasingly normal. I'm 38 and ttc no1- although we own our place I wish we'd started sooner! So I don't think there is an ideal solution in your situation but if I were you I'd go for it. Good luck!
Thanks Rebecca. It's really reassuring to know others are in this situation too. I feel like we are being irresponsible or something, which is probably ridiculous.
All the best ttc x
Hi, I had my first while renting and at the time I never thought I could be a home owner. I am now, but ds is 8. It is true that having a child or being pregnant will massively impact how much you can borrow on a mortgage as lenders don't just look at income, but also outgoings. Obviously a child is financially dependent on you for at least 18 years and banks will take this into consideration when deciding if a mortgage is affordable. Also, age will impact on getting a mortgage too. If age is on your side and you can wait those two years until you buy then I would recommend it. Otherwise I would put buying a house on the back burner for at least five years as you will need a higher income to get your desired mortgage with a child.
I had my daughter while DH and I were living in a rental flat too. We were in a similar as you describe in your OP. We had wanted to buy for ages "so we could start a family". We realised that it was going to take too long to find a house we liked, get finances in order and move into it and we just didn't want to wait any longer to TTC, so we went for it. We lived for about a year in the rental flat after having DD and then bought a house further from London. It was no different to living in our own home tbh. We'd been there for a couple of years already and were quite comfortable there.
Thanks again folks, all very helpful.
Ladyantonella hope you don't mind me asking but did you find it harder to buy / get a mortgage because you had a baby?
I've been renting past 3 years with dp and we have a 20months old.
We saved for a mortgage and are moving in 5 months time also we are trying for another baby.
I would let it stop you.
Mortgage lenders take childcare into consideration etc but my parents look after baby for free so I was able to prove that via bank statements etc.
Don't mind at all OP! Well, I didn't return to work after having DD so my salary wasn't taken into consideration at all. I think if it had been, possibly they would have been interested in nursery costs etc as this would have eaten up a large portion of my
shit salary. As it was, they based it entirely on DH's and we have no nursery costs as I am a SAHM.
Thank you Molly.
Music to my ears. I've been so upset over this. Got myself in a real state about it all!
Thanks for your reply Antonella. My partner works funny shifts and has lots of off days and my mum and dad want to help with childcare, so I'm hoping we won't have to factor this in.
I have two children in rented.
We are in a long term rent and will only be evicted if we stop paying rent.
The chances of us being a Homeowner is incredibly low
I'm currently pregnant for the first time, similar age to you, and living in a privately rented house. I wouldn't say the problem is confined to London - although we did live in London for 10 years before moving to our current location, so perhaps it did cause the issue! Total sympathise with how you're feeling - since getting pregnant I've had waves of panic/sadness at not being in our own house. Not being able to have things the way I'd like them (things like carpets, furniture as our place is furnished) and not necessarily feeling so secure, although we are lucky in that our rent has stayed the same going into our third year here.
Millions of people, including lots that I know, bring up children in rented accommodation - sadly for our generation it is just the way things are - with prices going up and up and ever further out of reach. It helps me to think that in Europe it is perfectly normal to rent - I think we are so obsessed in this country with owning a house and it does put pressure on/make you feel inadequate if you can't/don't.
Not sure if this is any help - but just wanted to say that I really understand how you're feeling!
Have you got the money to buy?
We decided to TTC, happened much sooner rather than later and we are going through the pain staking process of buying a house on maternity leave
and trying to complete before I take a drop in wages they don't know about
When you are child free you will never have that opportunity to get a mortgage on bother incomes again (without a bit more difficulty)
Sorry to burst the bubble.
To the PP it's normal to rent in Europe because rents are silly money!
I would say if your going to rent forever that's fine but if you plan to buy at some point do it now.
I had my first baby in rented in London, as did many couples we know! I get you on the sadness; I felt the same way! However we decided that as the goal posts kept changing- we couldn't wait forever to start our family - so we did. We then managed to secure a mortgage a year later. Granted, we had to settle on an area that we hadn't considered before BUT we are on the housing ladder and have our gorgeous DD. As far as I see it; its not our forever neighbourhood but rather part of the story that is our family and the next place we will be able to afford a better one.
Unimaginative - we're getting there, we've got a 5% deposit but no stamp duty. Can't believe how much stamp duty costs!?!
Super thanks for sharing - gives me hope!
Maybe start looking? Remember you have to provide 3 full payslips to mortgage company to get a mortgage. So you have right up until you go on mat leave.
So the whole time you are TTC and the whole of your pregnancy can be utilised. If you can save stamp duty in that time I would 100% go for it.
On average it takes a year to TTC so I wouldn't put anything off house wise as it make just naturally come before the baby.
Good luck in what you do!
Maybe we will put some feelers out and see what is realistic. Good point re having the whole pregnancy - and trying time. Thank you
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