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We are the Viroid Warriors! We are practising our PMAs and stockpiling the rare FRERs, come join us for the continued BFP boom...it's only bloody JS 60!!!

(1000 Posts)
stumblymonkey Mon 04-Apr-16 06:11:24

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo
~~~~~~~~~

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a Kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like 'something' = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing a Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 59 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

stumblymonkey Mon 04-Apr-16 06:12:55

Brand new shiny Fred viroids....stats:

Name: Stumblymonkey
Age: 33
TTC: Since Jan '16, cycle 4
DC: No DC but 2 DCats

ScottishLady7 Mon 04-Apr-16 07:53:58

Woohoo Stumbly! Excellent title, what a beautiful shiny new fred
< stares at stockpiled FRERs in the bathroom >

Name: Scottish
Age: 27
TTC: Since Oct '15, Cycle 6
DC: None

lildottie Mon 04-Apr-16 08:11:26

Name: lil aka queen mother ;)
Age: 30 (for a week or so at least!)
DC's: none - brewing a Hawaiian pineapple sized lilbean, 30weeks tomorrow!
TTC: nov 12-sep 15, ivf 1 Jan 15, mc feb 15, ivf 2 Sept 15 and still going strong!

Excellent thread stumbly now I just need a grad with a laptop to start our new thread. Until then I'll just bother you lot smile

Canters15 Mon 04-Apr-16 08:18:03

Name: canters
Age: 29
DC: none, currently cooking a 7 week raspberry conceived on cycle 5!

Love the Fred title!

angelazul Mon 04-Apr-16 08:50:12

Yay new fred, thanks Stumbly

Name: Angel
Age: 34 (1st time I've actually had to say that & feeling rather old sad)
TTC #1 since Aug 15, cycle 9

Not much happening here, just trundling along waiting to ice

NameChange30 Mon 04-Apr-16 08:59:10

Name: Name wink
Age: 30
DCs: 0
Fur babies: 2 cats
TTC #1 since Feb 2016

Thanks for the new thread stumbly - great title!

fruitlovingmonkey Mon 04-Apr-16 09:13:48

Thanks for the new fred! Roll call...

Name: Fruit
Age: 30
TTC since Jan 15. One MMC and now a large papaya sized baby who is currently beating me up from the inside.
One Ddog (PFB)

ChatEnOeuf Mon 04-Apr-16 09:18:27

Thanks Stumbly

Name: Chat
Age: 34
TTC #3 since July 2015. Currently 7+/40 and praying.
DCs: DD 4-going-on-14, DS born still at 36/40 (May 15)
DCats: One fussy tabby

Catscatsandmorecats Mon 04-Apr-16 09:27:21

Yay Stumbly excellent new Fred title grin

Name: Cats
Age: 36
DC: 1 DS (18 months) and one cooking, currently 6 weeks
Furbabyies: One naughty hairy pony

FuzzyOwl Mon 04-Apr-16 09:52:17

Thanks Stumbly

Name: Fuzzy
TTC: #2
Currently 9/40 with everything tightly crossed
Fur babies: lots of cats!

ScottishLady7 Mon 04-Apr-16 10:03:12

Viroids, what was said about high dose Vit C for ttc? We've had a couple of successes on the Fred with that now I think?

For those who took it- when in your cycle did you start? When will you stop? Any idea of any adverse effects?

FeatheredTail Mon 04-Apr-16 10:05:18

Name: feather
Age: 32
DC: brewing a 34+2 melon baby

Just sorry to see the frer was a bfn - so shit. I saw a line on the first tests you did too. Hope you enjoyed the booze fest.

So nice to see Tink pop in at the end of the last thread! I remember saying that we wouldn't leave you behind Tink and the sentiment still holds true - I always look out for you on here and hope you're ok.

LondonGirl83 Mon 04-Apr-16 10:16:18

Name: London
Age: 32
TTC: number 1 since MC in October
Fur babies- two ragdolls

LondonGirl83 Mon 04-Apr-16 10:17:52

Sorry, missed last quarter of last fred and so busy at work I won't be able to catch up! Did we get any more BFPs in the last two weeks? I'm so excited seeing all the upduffed ladies on the thread!

I've decided not to temp or test ovulation this cycle as its wearing me down. Will get myself privately tested as well this month once I can find the time from work.

GundogFrankie Mon 04-Apr-16 10:46:04

Thanks Stumbly!

Name: Gundog
Age: 35
TTC: #1 since July 15
1 Ddog

Corgi I'm so sorry, thinking of you. xx

Canters15 Mon 04-Apr-16 11:33:25

Scottish- I used vit c on my last cycle. I started it towards the end of AF mainly as that was when I heard about it. I then continued until I ran out which I think was sometime between week 5 and 6 of this pregnancy. No idea whether it made any real difference but I would definitely use it again. Ill was the other viroid using it but sadly miscarried.

Catscatsandmorecats Mon 04-Apr-16 12:00:09

scottish I am the same as Canters on the vit C - I started in AF of my last cycle when my getting upduffed megavitamins ran out - I just switched to high dose vit C plus the frolic acid. I have no idea if it was a helping factor but I felt better on it, those other ones sometimes made me feel a bit sick.

CountryGal4 Mon 04-Apr-16 12:10:39

Country
27 for two more weeks
1 almost 5 week old js baby!
2 cats

I was on 1000mg vit c zinc and folic acid and dh was on vit c zinc and selenium was in for three lot js before I got upduffed and stopped taking as soon as I got bfp if that's helpful to anyone??

justtheonethen Mon 04-Apr-16 12:15:08

Thanks stumbly smile

name: just
Age: 34
DC: 0
Fur babies: 1
TTC: for too fucking long!

tink thank you, arm punch gratefully received! How are you lovely?

I've been taking high dose everything for 20 months sad, can't be arsed with mega expensive ttc snake oil vitamins anymore. Going to just carry on with vit c and frolic. If after this long it hasn't worked I doubt it will help me but I'll keep going with it anyway. Obv frolic is essential, vit c does seem to make me feel better anyway so that can stay.

CD 1 angry

justtheonethen Mon 04-Apr-16 12:15:54

corgi oh darling I'm so so sorry, feel awful about making light of your bleeding now. Really sorry lovely. Here if you need me thanks

GundogFrankie Mon 04-Apr-16 12:51:58

Hope you're ok Just

I take the effervescent vit c & zinc from Asda, it's 'tropical' flavour because I am a child and it's actually quite nice.

DH's SA pot arrived this morning, think he's quietly terrified. Has anyone else's DP/Hs had a SA?

justtheonethen Mon 04-Apr-16 13:04:34

Hey gundog mine has. It was fine. I called the hospital where he had to drop it off to double check where it had to go. The nurse there said he should pop it into his shirt pocket to travel. Keeps it warm! He needs to get it there as quickly as possible so get bag/ coat/car keys ready beforehand. He needs to make a note of jizz time too.
Just make it a laugh, and no pressure. I just said to dp to try and do it that week but not to worry if he got stage fright. He saw it as a hilarious challenge and did it the next day!

Be prepared for months of wanging on about how he's had to do such a mammoth task, what a hero etc! That may just be my miriod but I had to bite my tongue not to punch him after near constant blood tests/ scans/ intervals grin

GundogFrankie Mon 04-Apr-16 13:11:55

Thanks Just he's got an appointment time and has to take his sample with him, think it has to be 'produced' no more than an hour before. I'll tell him about the inside pocket, I'm sure he'd rather that anyway than waving it proudly in the air!

Yes I'm preparing myself for the wanging on... it's like you know my DH wink

CountryGal4 Mon 04-Apr-16 13:11:57

He had to wank into a cup and that makes him a hero?! Pssssh men

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