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DP must think I'm a twat

(30 Posts)
Kate94 Tue 29-Mar-16 21:17:54

I'm having a really shit time! I convinced myself I was pg this month, would have tested this weekend but af turned up today at work. I just find myself uncontrollably sobbing to myself like a child (you know, when the chin starts wobbling and everything!!) I've been completely vile to DP since I've got home so he's giving me some space (ignoring me, which to be fair I'd rather be left to cry it out)!
I've had to pretend to be happy too many times this month too when a family member, colleague and 2 friends announced they're expecting.
I'm fed up of ttc and getting my hopes up every single month only to be left heartbroken when af shows up...
I think I need wine and professional help sad

BoomKapow Tue 29-Mar-16 21:29:26

I don't think I can offer you any words of wisdom but just wanted to let you know you are not alone. Last week my best friend called to tell me she's pregnant, I cried (wobbly chin and all) all the way home from work (1h drive). When my dh came home I cried to him. I then proceed to have a complete break down sitting on the floor crying because my poached eggs yoke broke. Dh didn't really know what to do with me!

I need professional help too. And a barrel of wine.

MrsKittenPie Tue 29-Mar-16 21:35:24

I'm exactly the same! Had to deal with arrival of af and 'happy' news from close friends all within the space of a few days. I cried at work, uncontrollable sobbing in the toilets, sitting back at my desk with bright red face, then I went to my acupuncture session and cried all the way through it, then went home and cried on dh. I'm fed up of the heartbreak every month too and also need professional help and bucketloads of wine

Loki17 Tue 29-Mar-16 21:54:46

You have just described me on a monthly basis.

ScottishLady7 Tue 29-Mar-16 22:10:40

And me! Kate you're in good company...

BoomKapow Tue 29-Mar-16 22:18:25

How long have you been trying for katie?

BoomKapow Tue 29-Mar-16 22:18:55

Oops sorry kate

bluebird3 Tue 29-Mar-16 22:55:41

This is exactly how I've been feeling too. I'm on my 13th cycle...officially 1 year Ttc and af is due next week but I know she's coming as I have sore boobs. Sore boobs don't lie...Af is on her way. Can I have a straw for these barrels of wine? winesadwinesadwinesad

Finallyonboard Tue 29-Mar-16 23:02:34

It's so hard, isn't it. Sending flowers

Justyou Tue 29-Mar-16 23:05:39

Really don't mean to minimise any upset you are all having but stumbled on this thread by accident and just wanted to say it took me 16 month to conceive the 1st time and now I have 3dc all tucked up in bed so keep positive X

Kate94 Wed 30-Mar-16 07:09:00

So nice to know I'm not on my own
Boom we've been ttc for a 13 months, but my cycles got all messed up around November so af turns up when I'm least expecting her - hence why I was waiting til the weekend to test but here she is a week early.
Thanks for your positivity just that means a lot!!!
Too early for winewine?

Purplerain067 Wed 30-Mar-16 10:43:27

I feel exactly the same. It's so hard isn't it sadflowers

Mimilicious013 Wed 30-Mar-16 10:46:20

Sharing your winesadwinesadwineflowers
It gets harder each month!!!!

BoomKapow Wed 30-Mar-16 19:35:48

bird af is on her way to me too... I can feel her! This makes 15 months of trying. I'm considering an appointment at the doctors.

Have you guys had any tests?

kate it's never too early for wine!

m33r Wed 30-Mar-16 20:33:12

It took us 20 months with our first. Hang in there girls.

I recommend getting in the system. We conceived the month of my laparoscopy which coincided with our IVF appr arriving. Waiting lists can be long and it can't hurt to be on them.

In the meantime, wine helped me a lot! wine

Kate94 Wed 30-Mar-16 20:36:51

Definitely get yourself down the Drs boom if you have any doubts about your fertility. I went in Feb and got referred for an ultra sound scan - got that booked for mid April. I hope you don't have to wait long for any referrals you may need.
If they don't find anything in this scan I'm booking an appointment at the create clinic in Birmingham, has anybody used this clinic for treatment? I'd like to have a HyCoSy to see if my tubes are blocked as I've recently found out that you are likely to have scarred tubes and unlikely to conceive naturally if you're appendix have ruptured confused yet I still get my hopes up every month!

BoomKapow Thu 31-Mar-16 19:38:46

Sounds like you are taking control and moving things forward kate well done! Have you had a burst appendix? I've heard good things about HyCoSy and people getting pregnant straight after having them. Fingers crossed for you!

I'm just waiting for af to show its ugly face and I'll book in I think.

Even the month I knew there was NO hope I got my hopes up! It's so disappointing. Even though I know af almost here I saw a slight temp rise this morning and decided it's possible living in denial! I should know better.

Kate94 Fri 01-Apr-16 07:37:48

Thanks Boom but I don't feel like I'm in control at all sad
My appendix burst in 2014 and I got peritonitis so I don't think I need tests to know my tubes probably are all scarred up, I kind of want to know how bad it is but I'm scared to find out! I have also heard lots of success stories of people getting pregnant right after a hycosy so fx.

It's silly isn't it, I think I could go a whole cycle without dtd but still get my hopes up and probably poas!

Elllicam Fri 01-Apr-16 07:50:17

I'm the same every month. We have been ttc about 9 months now. I'm day 10 Poland terrified to test.

Elllicam Fri 01-Apr-16 07:50:38

Po not Poland!

bluebird3 Fri 01-Apr-16 09:42:48

m33 and just. Thanks for the positivity. It actually really helps hearing about people who conceived after a long wait. Gives me hope a bfp is still possible.

Boom...I went to the doctor at 12 cycles. She wanted us to try 6 months more before tests but as it's so stressful she agreed we could have the blood tests and SA after 3 more months trying. So those will be done in May/June. Will be nice to know if something is wrong. I worry my hormones are messed up as I spot sometimes up to 5 days before af shoes up. hmm

BoomKapow Fri 01-Apr-16 10:22:44

ellli what day would you be late?

bird I can't believe they told you to try another three months! I thought after a year they would text you. I spot before af too and only have a 10 day lp ....

I'm 11dpo and normally due on yesterday or today at latest but think my body is playing an April fools on me! I'm at the same time 100% convinced I am pregnant and 100% convinced I'm not! hmm

BoomKapow Fri 01-Apr-16 10:27:51

kate maybe your tubes are hardier than you think!? I sympathise with being scared to find out the truth, that is why I'm putting off the dr! Keeping my head firmly in the sand.

Kate94 Fri 01-Apr-16 14:53:02

Blue I would be tempted to go back and see a different GP. I'm sure if you explain how it is effecting you they could refer you for tests. I'm not sure what the waiting time is in your area but it could be 3 months and if you do conceive within that time you can always cancel the appointment x

I have got everything crossed for a BFP for you Boom!! When do you think you'll POAS? Keep us posted..

BoomKapow Fri 01-Apr-16 17:02:40

I'm almost certain it won't get to POAS time. I've been a bit cranky and had a bit of spotting so think it's just my body messing with my mind. I've taken the plunge and booked a dr appointment but it's not for another three weeks.

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