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please help

(24 Posts)
Loobyloo243 Sun 20-Mar-16 07:11:45 i was seeing a guy for a few weeks nothing serious and regrettably slept with my ex putting into prespective that i actually liked the guy i was seeing. So here r my dates...last period was 21.6.15 had sex the 28th means i ovulated the 5.7.15 i done a test on 4.7.15 and was negative... then done a test like 16th july and im due in 5 days... iv since moved in with the guy i was seeing and i no it wld break his heart if he wasnt the dad. Wat do u guys think??

Afreshstartplease Sun 20-Mar-16 07:13:17

You haven't said who you had sex with when

VocationalGoat Sun 20-Mar-16 07:21:15

You had sex on the 28th.
When did you next have sex?
If you had sex on the 28th and didn't have it again until after the 5th then common sense says the baby belongs to whomever you were with on the 28th.

Oh dear. sad
You're in a bit of a pickle. What are you going to do? I'd say it's not your boyfriend's baby.

Loobyloo243 Sun 20-Mar-16 07:28:13

Had sex 28th so thats 7days after period with ex totally regretted can i add and then everything resumed normal with the guy im with 2days later..but done a pregnancy test the day b4 i ovulated and was negative

Loobyloo243 Sun 20-Mar-16 07:29:07

So i had sex with bf on the 30th

Afreshstartplease Sun 20-Mar-16 07:30:27

2 days is too close to know without DNA

Loobyloo243 Sun 20-Mar-16 07:36:59

Even tho i done a pregnancy test a week after i made that mistake....done a test the sat morning then ovulated that wkend? Wish i hadnt 😢my boyfriend hes an amazing man n will break him and his families heart...iv assumed throughout that baby is his as i done a test and was negative n must fell pregnant with him during my high fertile days...but now am due in 5 days am so worried

Afreshstartplease Sun 20-Mar-16 07:38:29

Sperm can live in your body for like five days

Afreshstartplease Sun 20-Mar-16 07:41:50

A pregnancy test a week after sex wouldn't show a pregnancy anyway

Loobyloo243 Sun 20-Mar-16 07:46:01

Yeah iv done the reasearch now...if only id knew we wouldv had a relationship like we have now theres no danger id even look twice at sum1... really dont no wat im going to do if baby isnt his.... im praying as i wasnt ovulating and test was negative a week after i had sex with ex that the baby isnt his. Thanks so much for listening iv never told any1 my dilema...

TattieHowkerz Sun 20-Mar-16 08:03:54

How long was the time between your periods usually?

Loobyloo243 Sun 20-Mar-16 08:16:31

Just googled a concieved calculator...says i concieved the 30th with ex was 27th no 28th and was having sex 29th...wish i was honest from the start but i honestly thot coz the test was negative the baby was his

Loobyloo243 Sun 20-Mar-16 08:34:09

Theres nothing i can do but wait until baby is praying its my mans...we were only seeing eachother 5wks wen i fell pregnant...if i told him then he wldv been like fair enough...but i never iv fucked up i believe its his and im hoping im right...we want to get married the lot we r both in our 30s he has kids this is my first...

DropYourSword Sun 20-Mar-16 08:41:18

I hope you get the result you want, BUT don't take any comfort from the fact the test your first took was negative. It was BOUND to be, even if the baby does turn out to be your ex's. For two reasons, there would not have been enough hormone in your system at that time to register a positive result, and your say you hadn't ovulated. You may have ovulated slightly early and his sperm can survive up to 5 days. The 'conception' date you have is just a rough guide only, it could be days either side. It's too close to call, you will likely need DNA testing.

Loobyloo243 Sun 20-Mar-16 08:51:28

Thank u. Wat a mess am throwing all my positivity obviously into the result i want...

Loobyloo243 Sun 20-Mar-16 08:56:09

Do i tell him now?

VocationalGoat Sun 20-Mar-16 08:58:44

Just take it as it comes OP.
You have a baby and yourself to look after and a relationship to build on.
Focus on now.
Put your best foot forward and make the family you have now work.
Put everything into now. Don't beat yourself up. Try to find peace and make your family unit a positive, workable with a stability and longevity. Do this for your baby.

Yesterday is gone.
You have now.

Loobyloo243 Sun 20-Mar-16 09:03:07

This will break his heart even more...hes just lost a son 4wks ago who was 19...can u imagine if this baby isnt his...sitting here sobbing

DropYourSword Sun 20-Mar-16 09:10:54

Oh Looby, this must be really hard. Does your ex have any idea he might be the father. Would be deliberately make things hard for you. Can you get him to do a DNA test first. Although if it does turn out he's the father that makes the conversation with your partner even more difficult.

I know some people might judge, but you were only together a few weeks and your relationship status read probably not exactly clear.

bluebird3 Sun 20-Mar-16 09:11:21

Don't beat yourself up because you can't do anything to change the past now. I would wait until your baby is born and then have the baby's DNA tested. If it is your partner's baby then no need to say anything. If you find out it's your exs then you will have to decide the best way to tell him. thanks

Loobyloo243 Sun 20-Mar-16 09:15:45

No he doesnt know as i actually convinced myself my bf was the dad now its getting near it without a doubt is 50/50 but i still think my bf is the dad...thats my gut feeling! Wat about u guys?

TattieHowkerz Sun 20-Mar-16 10:06:26

Unless you have short cycles I think it is a little more likely to be your boyfriend's. But you can't be sure until you do DNA testing. I don't see the point in telling your boyfriend until you have a result (unless you need him to cooperate with testing).

DropYourSword Sun 20-Mar-16 11:40:09

I've never been involved with DNA testing but I'm pretty sure the partner has to actually be involved to give a sample (whether it's blood or saliva).

I think your gut feeling is most probably due to the fact that's who you want the dad to be. Two days is really too close to be able to tell for sure. Some people think once the baby is born they'll be able to tell who the father is by how it looks, but I don't think it's very accurate. It's very easy to convince yourself baby looks like who you want the dad to be (just like when you're trying to conceive it's easy to convince yourself that every little thing is a sign you're pregnant!).

Thing is, you can't do anything about this right now. Concentrate on looking after yourself, have your baby and then figure out the next step. At least it sounds like you will be fair and not just try and pass this baby off as your partners of there's a chance it isn't, that's really not above thing to do and it seems that lots of people do it.

Pinkheart5915 Sun 20-Mar-16 12:02:21

You are in a pickle.
I think you will need a dna test once baby is here.
Have you told your partner? I would tell your partner it is 50/50 now, it is a big thing to keep from him. If he turns out not to be the dad he will question why you didn't tell him.
You will only need one of the men to do a Dna test, that will give you your answer.

Good luck, and I hope you get the result you want.

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