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Anyone 42+ tried to conceive for more than a year and still got pregnant

(13 Posts)
wotsitsmaltesers Mon 14-Mar-16 23:33:27

So have just turned 43 and been trying for number one for a year. I know it's not all doom and gloom but most of the positive stories I hear are either women conceiving number two or women who fall pregnant within a few months of trying. Really want to hear some stories of women 42+ trying for a year and still getting pregnant with first.

wotsitsmaltesers Tue 15-Mar-16 21:25:16

No positive stories?

ThirtyNineWeeks Tue 15-Mar-16 22:07:37

Hello, I'm 44 and gave birth 7 weeks ago to a naturally-conceived baby boy after resorting to donor egg IVF to have his sister when I was 42 (I had a mmc at 40 and couldn't get pregnant in the ensuing 16 months, hence the IVF).

This 'natural' conception occurred 3 months after using dh's sperm and a syringe (sex had become a horribly stressful chore and dh was suffering erectile dysfunction after years of forced sex around ovulation).

My advice is to keep going. Make sure there's plenty of sperm in situ (the forty-plusses have less sex. Fact). Take 300mg coenzyme q10 per day plus maca root and selenium (brazil nuts). Keep going..

wotsitsmaltesers Wed 16-Mar-16 17:50:53

Thank you for sharing thirtynine that's a big journey and gives me hope. It's just so scary to have had nothing happen in the past year.

Kitten3 Wed 16-Mar-16 19:20:49

Hello there,

I have just turned 43. In the last year I have been pregnant twice, but miscarried. And am pregnant again now...but only just. Time will tell whether the pregnancy will hold.

Not my first though, I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old, both conceived naturally.

wotsitsmaltesers Thu 17-Mar-16 00:00:30

Thank you Kitten it's nice to hear the positive stories, though I do worry that it only seems to happen to women who have had at least one before.
I'm so sorry for you losses, that must be so so painful.flowers
Wishing you all the best for this pregnancy.

Loueeza Thu 17-Mar-16 12:14:20

Thank you for asking this question, Wotsits, because it's the same question I have and I'd love to hear some more encouraging stories.

I'm in exactly the same situation as you (trying for well over a year, and seen no success at all). I too think it seems you either succeed pretty quickly, or see some 'near misses', or it doesn't happen at all, but I'd like to be proved wrong and given some hope that it could happen for me (and you!!) too.

Following this thread :-)

Inshock73 Thu 17-Mar-16 13:33:56

Hi Wotsit I conceived my daughter at 41 and gave birth at 42 after a year of obsessively ttc. I had a mmc at 9 weeks when I was 40. I'm now 11 weeks pregnant at the age of 43 with a 'surprise' pregnancy after literally having sex once in a whole month and avoiding what we thought was the 'fertile window'. When I conceived my daughter I had given up caffeine, sugar, alcohol, ate really healthily and used opk's every month. This time I was drinking coffee everyday, eating quite unhealthily because I'm busy and sleep deprived with my 10 month old daughter. I know it's annoying to hear people say it but it can and does happen.

Good luck x

wotsitsmaltesers Thu 17-Mar-16 19:17:06

Thank you inshock that is an inspiring story though will make Dtd eod even harder/ more of a chore knowing that chance does just play such a big part.

loueeza lovely to see you here. Our stories are so similar. I had to ask the question as was on a particular low and am struggling to keep going. Just want my life back and to be able to plan for the future not thinking what if what if. 43rd birthday hit hard as so many stories of first conceptions are 40 - 42 fingers firmly crossed for us both. flowers

Loueeza Sat 19-Mar-16 04:10:54

I totally understand how you feel, Wotsits. I swing between feeling absolutely devastated with tears welling up in my eyes constantly, and having a 'don't care and can't be bothered' attitude, just because I'm so sick of thinking about this.

I'm 42 now and feel the same as you about my age, too. I feel like if it didn't happen when I was 41, when we started trying, why would it now when I'm even older?

Sorry - I probably haven't made you feel any better, but I know that for me it does help a bit to know that I'm not the only one.

I'm really glad you've posted this because I'd somehow missed on the other thread that like me you've been trying for a while without any success at all. :-)

Objectively though I do agree with ThirtyNineWeeks above who says 'KEEP GOING'. After my recent IVF I think I can see what we're up against. Out of my 4 embryos, 2 developed to 5 days but obviously those last 2 were no good either. They did tell me though that the quality seemed to be fairly good.... which leads me to wonder if it really is just a numbers game. Maybe we've both conceived several times in our year + of trying, but the quality's just not been quite good enough to make it all the way.

So let's both try to keep going for a bit longer with a bit of hope. If either one of us gets there, it'll be really encouraging for the other!!!

And in the meantime, let's hope a few more encouraging stories are posted here! :-) :-)

wotsitsmaltesers Sat 19-Mar-16 10:57:01

Hello Loueeza and thank you for your post. It is nice, as you say, to know that someone is going though it in such a similar way.

I remember from the other thread that we both seem to have similar cycles too - in that we are are regular as clockwork but get signs of AF very soon after ov and so know quite early on that we're out. I find that weird too - how can my body know/ decide so early on that it's not going to happen when implantation isn't supposed to take place until 6-10days after ov.

I do know what you mean though about not knowing what's going on inside and maybe we have conceived it just hasn't stuck.

My story is a bit different to you as my relationship is not as secure as the one you have with your dh. For what it's worth if I were you I would continue with the ivf if you can afford it. I've heard of so many success (in real life as well as on here) for women of our age - as well as people falling naturally between ivf cycles.

It's nice to have your company here and I like the positive attitude - let's give it our best shot for a bit longer (or catch oh's best shot blush and i hope we here some positive stories of women who have conceived after age 42 having tried for a while and nothing happened (no near misses and no first children). smile

Loueeza Sun 20-Mar-16 13:09:42

I'd forgotten that too - that you get signs of af early. Again, makes me feel better as I thought that must mean there's something wrong with me! It's obviously just how some women are. The thing I find REALLY weird is that these early signs only started the first month we began trying - literally! I find that both mysterious and cruel!

I think we'll probably try another IVF, but I'm blocking it out of my mind at the moment. Feels hard to think about facing it again. It will be difficult to afford it too. We may manage one more, but more than that will be tough. I feel like I'm gambling. It's a challenge to know whether to keep trying naturally or push to afford more IVF.

Anyway, really glad that you've reminded me that our stories are so similar and looking forward to following along with you more on the other thread :-)

wotsitsmaltesers Mon 21-Mar-16 21:41:04

I know what you mean about the early AF symptoms starting only once you've started ttc - I feel like that too - but actually I just think it's that I'm more in tune with what my body is doing - EVERY SINGLE day, which is exhausting.

I like your gambling analogy - I feel like I'm playing a really bad game of Russian roulette. I think you should keep trying naturally and decide on doing one more IVF at a time that fits with you and you'll feel really relaxed.

It's a shame there's been so few stories on here but let's stay positive and I look forward to hearing what happens on the other thread.

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