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I am unsure who the father of my unborn child is! Please help!!

(121 Posts)
soph1995 Sat 12-Mar-16 21:42:40

I have been on and off with my ex boyfriend for 2 years, and recently he came down for his birthday on the 31st Jan 2016, he stayed until the night of the 5th of Feb. Through the week we was having sex until he left on the night of the 5th of Feb... My last period began I believe between the 20th-25th of Jan and lasted 5 days (as it usually does, and I am usually around the same time every month)
For some reason, I felt automatically I was pregnant! so I took a test on the 8th and it was negative...
Me and my ex have had a very complicated relationship and long story short I began seeing someone else, sooner than I expected me and this new guy had sex for the first time on the 19th of Feb (I believe he didnt ejaculate), and again multiple times on the 22nd of Feb. On the night of the 19th of Feb I couldnt sleep properly and felt very sick, I thought this was because I felt guilty because I was with someone else and not my ex who I dont believe I was completely over. I then felt sick on the Saturday night and then the Sunday 21st I felt sick all day, unable to eat properly and even the smell of things was making me feel sick - however, I thought this was due to a mussel I ate on friday night because I couldnt even swallow it because it tasted funny - so I thought I possibly had mild food poisoning. That week between the 22nd and the 29th I was feeling sick all week, not able to eat many things, and when I did eat I was starving and then felt unbelievably sick! I took a test probably on the 23rd and it was negative again, but i was under the impression it could because it was still kind of before my missed period. On the Saturday the 27th I took two pregnancy tests and it was positive.
Now on the 7th of March I have had a scan and they've told me I was 3 weeks pregnant; and on the scan they said all they could see was the yolk sac. There was a black section and then a tiny spec within that when I saw the scan, and there was no heartbeat or anything yet.

Basically, I really do not know who the father would be?!
Can anyone help please? And can no one judge me, I didnt plan for things to be this way! Please HELP!

Owllady Sat 12-Mar-16 21:45:27

This is very similar to the other thread
Was the 8th March a full moon?

slebmum1 Sat 12-Mar-16 21:47:53

Good Luck with that one

dontcryitsonlyajoke Sat 12-Mar-16 21:49:32

I don't see how it can be the new guy.

Your cycle sounds like it's roughly 30 days long (am I right?) as its roughly the same day each month. You ovulate around 2 weeks before your period and can get pregnant if you gave sex from about 5 days before to 1-2 days after you ovulate.

I'd place ovulation at 11th Feb, roughly, so window for getting pregnant 6th-12th/13th. That's my guess based on what you say and is much closer to when you had sex with your ex rather than the new partner.

Hope you're ok flowers

RafaIsTheKingOfClay Sat 12-Mar-16 21:54:05

If you don't know, how is anybody else going to work it out?

Short of a DNA test I don't think there is any way to know for sure.

sbz1995 Sat 12-Mar-16 21:56:51

Thank you for your response! flowers

I was thinking it has to be my ex not the new guy but its making me anxious at night because I was so worried after the doctor said I was 3 weeks from my scan as then I was really confused as to when the conception date was!

(sorry I changed my username, if anyone is confused)

BoBo90 Sat 12-Mar-16 22:09:13

Not judging you but you need yo start using protection. It doesn't matter who your sleeping with if you don't use protection you risk becoming pregnant or getting an std.

sbz1995 Sat 12-Mar-16 22:28:13

Not to be rude BobBo90, but you are judging me.

I accept what you are saying, but I didnt write this post for people to respond with points which really do not help my situation or answer the question.

You do not know what I have been through, or what has happened between me and anyone I've had a relationship with. So I would respectfully appreciate you to not leave comments like that on my posts or anyone else's posts!

Moto: if you have nothing positive to say, do not say anything at all.

Thank you

Loki17 Sat 12-Mar-16 22:42:16

Why is your user name different from your op?

Loki17 Sat 12-Mar-16 22:44:55

If you count back 2 weeks from your expected period, that will be the date of conception. So, if your period was due on the 28th, you will have ovulated on the 14th. That should help you work out who it was most likely to be. Good luck.

LuckyinOctober Sun 13-Mar-16 08:30:28

It could be the new guy if you ovulated later than typical in your cycle and also happen to have a short luteal phase. It could be your ex if you ovulated on the early side. Both are possible fathers of your baby since we don't know when you ovulated (cycle length doesn't tell you that for sure), so my advice would be to be honest with both of them that it could be theirs and then have a DNA test once the baby is born to clarify it - otherwise you'll never know for sure. flowers

BoBo90 Sun 13-Mar-16 08:52:09

I'm not judging you op. It's called advice and its the same advice I would give to anyone not using protection regardless of age/ personal history or any other factor.

sizethree Sun 13-Mar-16 15:13:04

Are you sure the abandoned place stated you're 3 weeks pregnant?
Because the way pregnancies are dated, 4 weeks pregnant is the earliest you'd ever know as that's the date of a missed period.
How did they scan you?

sbz1995 Sun 13-Mar-16 21:52:48

Hi sizethree,

Thats the impression I was under as well after reading online. They used an ultrasound scan - this is my first time ever having a scan so I believe thats what it is called? With the cold gel, and the thing they push against your stomach so it comes up on the screen?

She said to me from the scan they believe I conceived 3 weeks ago, and my scan was on the 7th of March

Monstamio Sun 13-Mar-16 22:22:56

I'm astonished they didn't do an internal scan for such an early pregnancy. Also if they said you conceived three weeks ago then you would be five weeks pregnant not three. Though by your dates you should have been over six weeks by then. Was this a private scan or NHS?

Wolfiefan Sun 13-Mar-16 22:25:03

No one on here can answer this 100%. Only a paternity test will do that.

SummerMonths Sun 13-Mar-16 22:32:15

I don't thing you can see a yoke sac on an abdominal scan. You would have to have had an internal to see what you describe them seeing.

sbz1995 Mon 14-Mar-16 08:25:54

From the name internal scan I'm assuming they would of been inserting something?
Which they didn't

This is all new to me so I'm sorry if I don't know all my information...
And this was on the NHS

sizethree Mon 14-Mar-16 08:44:40

I'm very confused by the advice you've been given and care provided.
There's no way you'd be offered an external scan so early in pregnancy. It's definitely be an internal scan. And again, it's impossible to be 3 weeks pregnant. As I mentioned in my previous comment, pregnancy is dated from the first day your last period. So at 3 weeks pregnant you wouldn't know yet.
There's lots of people here who can offer help and advice, and I don't mean to upset you by asking this. But are you genuine? If so I'm concerned as I said earlier about the care you're receiving, as it seems very unusual and incompetent. Also, from your post you sound as though you are within a younger age group, so it's very important that you're given clear information and a competent care plan. When will you been seen again by a health care professional?

stitch10yearson Mon 14-Mar-16 08:53:30

you are more likely to be 5 weeks pregnant. at 3 weeks, nothing is visible as pregnancy is dated from the first day of your last period, so actually 3 weeks before you concieve!
Agree with the advice another poster gave you about using barrier methods. Prevents STD's as well as pregnancy
From the information you have provided, its likely to be the first guy

sbz1995 Mon 14-Mar-16 09:39:37

I've just booked a doctors appointment today because I am seriously confused myself.
I know the information I am giving might be confusing, but I am 100% genuine, and thats why I have come on here as I have so many questions and don't know exactly what questions to ask.

I am 20, turning 21 soon. So yes I am in a younger age group.

Ok, so I'm gathering I'm not 3 weeks pregnant, but conceived 3 weeks before the 7th of March; at this point I am still confused as that is exactly a week after my ex and a week before the other guy.

Today I'm going to the doctors, and hopefully they will give me more information or insight. Possibly give me another scan?

Thank you for the concern and advice, I don't know anything about this! I've never been pregnant before so this is very new.

SummerMonths Mon 14-Mar-16 09:46:38

The GP won't be able to scan you.

If your period was 20/1 and you have an average 28 day cycle then you would have ovulated around 5 Feb so it is most likely to be first guy. Even if you ovulated a few days later (due to longer cycle) then it could still be him as sperm can live inside you waiting for the egg for a few days. You would have to have ovulated v late for the baby to be the other guys but to be honest you cannot be sure until baby is born and you have a DNA test.

NameChangeIe Mon 14-Mar-16 09:47:08

Scanning you on the 7th saying you conceived 3weeks before puts you conceiving on the 15th feb. So you are 5 weeks pregnant. So couldn't have been the second guy. Also early scans can be out and not an exact science. If you are pregnant my money's on the first guy. Although changing username on a thread makes it hard to follow

What did they scan you so early though on the NHS?

RafaIsTheKingOfClay Mon 14-Mar-16 10:36:07

If she conceived on the 15th of Feb, I don't think it could be the first guy either. I don't think you can conceive 10 days after sex. About 5--6 seems to be the max, so the 10th/11th of Feb.

Did the OP's period begin on the 20th and last 5 days, or is she not sure when it was and it began somewhere between the 20th and 25th. It's not entirely clear.

sbz1995 Mon 14-Mar-16 11:14:58

I'm now worried about when I exactly had my period because I don't take a note of when I start and finish. But now I'm thinking about it and am under the impression the first day of my period was nearer to the 20th

Sorry if the username is confusing but I am the person who wrote the original post and this username is throughout the posts now.

Well I didn't have sex anytime inbetween those dates at all, so those two separate occasions are the only possibility...

I am starting to think the scan was not completely correct on the 7th; and if you must know I had the scan at the clinic because I was considering terminating the pregnancy but I could not go through it because I don't agree with abortion for myself - I am pro choice but just never thought of that for myself.

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