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(16 Posts)
broodypsycho Sun 06-Mar-16 13:55:33

God give me the strength!!!! Nearly a year of ttc, im due my hycosy next week and got bad period pains and my slag of a friend who has 3 kids to 3 different one night stands has announced she's 5 month pregnant with her boyfriend of 7 month who she's breaks up with every week. I'm not going on Facebook I can't take any more baby announcements off slappers. I'm sick to death. I'm depressed. I'm a good person why does this happen to good people?

waitingimpatient Sun 06-Mar-16 14:00:05

last time I checked good people did not refer to others as slags/slappers

It's hard when you are ttc, I know that but really it's not the fault of others who don't have difficulties. Maybe best to stay off Facebook if it's upsetting you this much.

I do understand your frustration though and hope your tests go well and that you get your bfp in the near future

StarkyTheDirewolf Sun 06-Mar-16 14:04:47

I understand that it's hard and frustrating, but you sort of lost me at "slag of a friend" and then "slappers".

Step away from Facebook, deep breathing, have a bath and a glass of wine. I'm struggling to think of anything to say because platitudes like "just relax" and "stop thinking about it" don't really do anything when you're in that kind of mindset.

PotteringAlong Sun 06-Mar-16 14:05:53

Someone getting pregnant when you are not does not make them a slag, a slapper or a bad person.

waitingimpatient Sun 06-Mar-16 14:06:49

Also, come over to the infertility board even if you just want to lurk at first.
There are loads of us in similar situations and a different stages of investigations and treatment

broodypsycho Sun 06-Mar-16 14:08:49

I've known my friend for 15 years and I call her a slapper to her face, she knows she is more than anyone, she's slept with nearly 400 men so I think I'm quite justified when I call her a slapper. It's just crazy how people who don't want kids get up the duff straight away, have no stability,she palms her kids off to relatives and yet other people who are in stable relationships and want nothing more than anything just go through this rigmarole. I think I need a bottle of wine

broodypsycho Sun 06-Mar-16 14:12:06

Pottering along, no someone getting pregnant does not make them a slapper,everyone's getting pregnant but what makes her a slapper us having 3 kids to 3 different men, getting dna tests on several men to know who kids fathers are etc. And uses abortions as a form of contraception cos she doesn't know who the father of her pregnancies are etc oh I could go on all day

waitingimpatient Sun 06-Mar-16 14:17:07

OP you sound really angry and upset about all this, I think the advice of a bath, relax and a drink (tea or wine whichever you prefer) is probably good.
Having problems ttc is horrible but all this stress and directing your anger at others will not help

You need to focus on yourself. Have the tests you need, eat healthily, reduce stress etc etc and concentrate on YOU
Distance yourself from people that make you feel like this and don't go on Facebook. Maybe take some time out to calm down then re post later when you feel a bit better.

I know how hard it is. There's great support on here though if you go about it the right way x

VimFuego101 Sun 06-Mar-16 14:19:29

I agree it's difficult to see other people's baby pics and pregnancy news when you're struggling to conceive, but you lost me at 'slag' and 'slapper'. You should probably step away from the friendship if you disagree with her lifestyle.

StarkyTheDirewolf Sun 06-Mar-16 14:56:53

Fuck me, just because you call her a slapper to her face doesn't mean it's ok. And her life choices don't tally with yours. That's it. Agree with vim step away from that particular "friendship".

You are angry and frustrated and it's spilling out and culminating in bitterness. It's not good for you.

You need to focus on yourself. Have the tests you need, eat healthily, reduce stress etc etc and concentrate on YOU. Distance yourself from people that make you feel like this and don't go on Facebook. Maybe take some time out to calm down then re post later when you feel a bit better

^ This, in spades. Definetly agree that you will find help and support on here if you go about it the right way.

Beansprout30 Sun 06-Mar-16 18:21:37

Sorry you are having a hard time, ttc can bring out some really horrible emotions when it seems to be taking forever. I do think you should maybe re-evaluate your friendship with this person, it doesn't sound like you think much of her!

broodypsycho Sun 06-Mar-16 18:40:43

We're all not perfect but like I said my mate knows what she is. She's not one of my best mates just someone I talk to if u get me. It's just frustrating one of her kids doesn't live with her and she tries to palm the ones she has on relatives but yet people who'd appreciate kids can't have them

ohnonotanother1 Mon 07-Mar-16 11:30:52

Broody how are you feeling now?

MN can be very unforgiving sometimes and when you're feeling shitty you sometimes just need a rant without the judgement. I defy anyone with fertility issues not to have felt bitter and wanted to call someone names at some point during their journey. Because Starky is right, bitterness isn't good for you but different people deal with it in different ways and if shouting helps you then it's better you do it on an internet forum than in real life.

For so many reasons she sounds like someone you don't need in your life right now.

StarkyTheDirewolf Mon 07-Mar-16 11:44:39

I agree with ohnot ttc is emotionally exhausting. I'm on cycle 3 but it's taken the best part of 6 months to get this far. The hope, the dtd, the wait, the disappointment. I joined a conception thread and it's been a lifeline. And while I'm made up for the girls with their bfp's, it doesn't make it any easier when it's not me, again. And when you have people around you in real life who seemingly brush up next to a man and they're pregnant, it is frustrating.

Hope you're feeling better today op.

broodypsycho Wed 16-Mar-16 19:25:21

Yeah I feel a lot better now. I'd had a bit to drink and I was just feeling so down and low. It's sunk in now. My rational side knows that my infertility and struggle to conceive isn't their fault and bitterness isn't good etc but sometimes you just bloody help it. I need some way of getting out the mean sh*t I can't say in real life no matter how horrible and irrational it is. I've had my hycosy test on Tuesday and both tubes are clear so I'm a little bit more hopeful. Thanks ladies grin

Beansprout30 Wed 16-Mar-16 23:21:40

Fab news on the tubes! Pleased to hear you are feeling happier, it is hard not to get bitter when you want this so bad. Hope you get your bfp soon

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