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I think I already know the answer...

(17 Posts)
zaza86 Fri 04-Mar-16 19:59:00

Hi all!

I think I just need a bit of sense talked into me. Long story short, DH and I have agreed to start TTC in May. We are both very broody and keen to get going, however there are a few events coming up which is why we chose May.

This is both from a work perspective and a personal perspective - I am a bridesmaid three times this year - April, May and September. I would have preferred not being pregnant for any, but didn't want to put it off until September so compromised and thought would be OK to be max 18ish weeks at that wedding. We also have a big 'final hurrah' trip in May booked too (that I likely don't want to be suffering ms during!).

I know this is all so hypothetical and will seem so silly once we're into the process, but I guess I'm trying to be sensible to the extent that I can. Problem is, I'm now struggling so much with the wait! I really would love a baby and my heart is trying to talk my head into just going for it now... Though May isn't even that long away!!

Do you think I should hold out? It'll likely save me some working out of things over the next few months, but does that really matter?

Any thoughts much appreciated!

BitchPeas Fri 04-Mar-16 20:03:32

It's hard to say really! How old are you? What birth control are you on if any?

If I were you I'd wait til May, your reasons are sound and sensible and you don't know how you'll be pregnant, you could be fine or you could have hyperserimis (sp?) I threw up 10-20 times a day with DD and it was awful. With DS I was fine til 7 months then was hospitalised with pre eclampsia.

We are waiting till October to ttc number 3, but it's killing me already so I feel your pain!

WorldsBiggestGrotbag Fri 04-Mar-16 20:40:36

It's only 2 months away!
I felt awful for the first 12 weeks of both my pregnancies. Couldn't socialise/enjoy anything. Definitely wouldn't have enjoyed a holiday. I'd wait.

raddersmrs Fri 04-Mar-16 21:27:12

We were going to wait until May. Had it all planned out but in the end we couldn't wait any more and so have started trying this month. I think your reasons are perfectly fine and if you wait that's not a problem but I also know how hard it is to wait as we have given up on waiting and leaving it to fate!

jessplussomeonenew Fri 04-Mar-16 21:31:19

There are some things it can be good to do pre-TTC; start taking folic acid, ensure you're both in good health and eating well, use barrier instead of hormonal contraception to let your cycles settle. So you'd be preparing without actually starting, if that makes sense.

Loki17 Fri 04-Mar-16 21:34:20

Oh just do it. Seriously, you have no idea how it is going to go. You could end up ttc for a whole year before you get your bfp or it could happen within a month. Either way, you will be happy. I waited to ttc number two, it took longer than expected which was horrible, then I miscarried at 13 weeks; being back to square one is just awful. My dd is the light of my life and I'm desperate for another. First cycle after the mc and after following drs advice and waiting for my first period resulted in a BFN so I'm acutely aware that the ttc journey will not happen over night. The decision is yours, but id recommend going for it. Good luck to you.

zaza86 Fri 04-Mar-16 22:00:54

Thanks guys - jess I'm a pathological planner, so came off the pill six months ago, and have been on the folic acid/vit D since the new year. Have also had a smear and blood test for rubella immunity to prepare (yes I'm desperately trying to fill the time! grin).

NovaArt3mis Fri 04-Mar-16 22:33:35

Hi zaza, I'm in the same boat.

DH and I start trying a year ago, 6 months later we booked a holiday (my cycles were, and still are, a mess) and postponed ttc.

The holiday is in May and we'll start trying again as soon as we get off the plane while we're there.

I'm entirely broody and would love to start again now but I know it'd ruin a very expensive holiday if it did happen straight away. Equally, I worry we made the wrong choice in booking the holiday and postponing ttc but life's too short.

I think the next 2 months are going to fly by flowers

Turnertime14 Mon 07-Mar-16 17:51:54

I've been looking for a thread like this and it's good to know other people feel the same. Me and DH started trying last year but then I got a new job and put things on hold as I didn't want to be seen to be disappearing straight away. I'm now a month into the new job and desperate to get going again - we also agreed may. I keep telling myself to try and enjoy this time but part of me is also thinking I should start again now as I don't know how long it will take to conceive!

zaza86 Mon 07-Mar-16 18:40:27

Isn't it frustrating Turner and Nova?! How can we speed up time?! I'm sure it'll fly by but it seems so slow right now. What are you doing to prepare?

HumTiddlyTum Mon 07-Mar-16 19:05:33

Just do it.

Turnertime14 Mon 07-Mar-16 21:48:55

Just trying to be as healthy as possible really. I've been off the pill since last September. The reality is I'm not really sure if there is a perfect time to have a baby! So I think when I'm feeling brave I want to start now but when I'm scared I start to push it back!

Iadmit Tue 08-Mar-16 10:37:38

I'm kind of gatecrashing the conception forum my usual haunts are very uninteresting atm! but wanted to add a bit of perspective.

Like you, zaza , we planned when to ttc for all sorts of reasons, then kept putting it off as something else came up (friends weddings, holiday, didn't want to be heavily pregnant in summer....you get the picture!). We ended up beginning ttc about a year after we originally planned and it took nearly 15 months to finally get a BFP. Life really is too short, IMO, and you never know when it will happen.

<probably not very helpful>

Turnertime14 Tue 08-Mar-16 13:03:53

I think it is helpful to hear that perspective too ladmit. It is something that you cannot fully control and not many people get pregnant straight away!!

Heartland Tue 08-Mar-16 13:52:34

I am in the same position, OH and I really want a baby but we are moving to a new town, just 10min down the road in August/September and OH is starting a new job in September (in the same company) so we thought we would wait until then... However, we really want a baby and think we will just keep putting it off...
I'm torn between throwing the pill away now and being terrified something goes wrong afterwards if it makes sense...

Turnertime14 Tue 08-Mar-16 20:31:47

Maybe you could just come off the pill now as it takes a while for things to get back to normal. Then you can see how you feel after that step - at least you'd feel like you were moving forward!

NovaArt3mis Fri 11-Mar-16 19:48:02

Ooh, it got busy in here without me noticing!

I've been off the pill for exactly a year now. Cycle still ranges from 31 to 51 days, so frustrating. Not convinced I'm ovulating but we've not actually been trying so I think the GP would just tell me to bugger off.

Taking Seven Seas preconception vitamins and eating better/exercising in prep. Can't wait til May. Not sure if I'm more excited for the holiday or the ttc. I have a bad feeling it's going to be a long journey.

Nice name turner. Very big HP fan here.

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