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Fabulous forty + ttc and having success!

(1000 Posts)
TwinklyMusic Fri 26-Feb-16 07:26:23

Old thread just about finished. Here is a new one... Fx for lots of well earned BFPs for those ttc over forty. We also welcome stories from those who have successfully had their babies over forty and we love hearing back from our graduates.

TwinklyMusic Fri 26-Feb-16 07:36:51

I'm hoping this links to the old thread! www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2428743-Over-40s-TTC-success-stories

TwinklyMusic Fri 26-Feb-16 07:39:43

Thanks ababs for link on old thread to this!! Your linking skills are much better than mine!! I need to research how to do it properly! grin

ababsurdum Fri 26-Feb-16 08:00:38

Thanks for the new thread Twinkly. Fingers crossed for us all!

FattyFishwife Fri 26-Feb-16 09:14:07

Introductions for lurkers and boobs

fatty here, 44 (45 in a few weeks) o/h 46 trying for #6 (or number 9 if you count angel babies) cycle 30 (I think) of ttc. 1 bfp in all that time ended in mmc/blighted ovum in may 2015.

So. ..that's me smile

ababsurdum Fri 26-Feb-16 09:34:43

Ababsurdum 44, ttc #2. Mmc at 10 weeks in Oct 2015, cycle 3 ttc post mc.

joeywife Fri 26-Feb-16 09:59:15

Hi! Lovely to find the new thread. There were a lot of sad stories going on on the old one, hopefully this new one will bring some positive news.
Fatty sorry that af came. Be kind to yourself this weekend and enjoy some wine and cheese, or whatever it is that gives you your treat!
Sofia - I hope that you are feeling OK after the D&C. Sending hugs to you
Wotsits - so sorry for your situation. Do you have other children with your OH, or other children at all? Had you agreed before that you wanted children together?
chewy - hope you get some progress on your investigations soon so that you can make a decision on how to move forward.
Sorry for anyone I've missed - I'm too rushed at the moment to be able to jump back to the old thread to see other recent posts.
Twinkly - hi and thanks for starting the new thread.
As for me, it's CD7 here and I've just about stopped bleeding. Had a much heavier af than normal, so something obviously happened with the IVF. Anyway, finally stopped, so I might go for a bit of loving with DH tonight just to get things started again!! We'll probably do our usual trick of having a couple of good 'dtds' straight after af finishes when it's still too early, and then be back in knackered/can't be bothered mode when the crucial time comes around!!
I finally built up the strength to ring my clinic this week to tell them that it had failed. I'm going for my follow-up appointment in a couple of weeks, which probably won't tell me much, but it feels like a kind of closure. They are also arranging a counselling session for me which I think will be good.
Off to Toddler group now with DS (he at least keeps me busy!!) - have a good day everyone.

wotsitsmaltesers Fri 26-Feb-16 12:07:57

Thanks for your understanding everyone and not judging me. I have some serious decisions to make in the next couple of months. The irony is I started last year thinking about going it alone and then got together with my OH.
joey - I don't have any children and nor does he. We've discussed it all but skirted round the edges - mainly because it was a new relationship. I was very clear that I wanted children. He constantly said he was sad it hadn't happened for him. I thought we were both just not confronting it head on and hoping it would happen. I thought I was starting a discussion about IVF and getting him tested and then it transpired he thought I was on the pill which has swept the carpet from under my feet. We've still got some talking to do, but I want to get on and do rather than talk.
sofia - so sorry for what you are going through at the moment. I hope you're doing okay.
All feeling a bit painful and very scary at the moment.
Good wishes to everyone else. We need some positive stories soon. I read a very old post yesterday about a woman who had given birth at 44 to her first child having met her partner at 43 and my great grandmother was 48 when she had her first - and that was in the 19th century, not even the 20th century - so if it could happen naturally two centuries ago I am holding on to a bit of hope. flowers to everyone.

ababsurdum Fri 26-Feb-16 13:56:30

Joey I had a heavy period when my IVF failed - maybe the lining gets thicker from the stim drugs? I had to go into my clinic for a blood test despite the fact that I was already bleeding and knew it hadn't worked. However by the time we went for our review appointment I was already about 5 weeks pregnant, our doctor was thrilled. I wish you the best of luck for this cycle.

Wotsits what a wonderful story about your great grandmother, hopefully there's still time for us all. When I was ttc ds I remember reading that there were more births to 40+ women after the war than in 2011. I found that heartening, we are not a new phenomenon despite what the media likes to peddle.

I'm on 8dpo (I think). I've had a bit of cramping the last couple of days but am seasoned enough to know it's a symptom that can go either way.

Beegee3 Fri 26-Feb-16 14:30:51

Hello ladies x twinkly thank you for the the new thread ☺.
sofia you have been very brave, sorry you are going through this flowers
fatty sorry af has got you, hope that you can relax a little this weekend.
wotsits on a smaller scale, I had a bit of a blow out with my dp a fortnight ago. Yes he wants a baby but I guess he thinks there is a different timescale etc, don't think he got that my age is such an issue as he doesn't see it generally. Was a rocky, intense weekend with me and him crying (I said that maybe the last 4 years were a big mistake and he should go). Anyway, it seems like your OH should have been very clear at what was going on. Is this a scared, doubting wobble on his part? Have you managed to talk more and move forward? I guess it comes down to what is the greater need for you, having a child or your OH. So hard flowers
For new thread: Me - beegee 42 (43 in May) ttc dc#3. I have a ds who is 14 and a ds who is 10 from previous marriage.
I am currently cd15. ((Hugs)) to everyone x

Beegee3 Fri 26-Feb-16 14:36:32

ababs hope you are keeping some sanity in the tww x
chewy what a difficult situation you and your dp are in at the moment. I hope he makes a speedy recovery and you can get your bfp x

ababsurdum Fri 26-Feb-16 16:31:23

Thanks Beegee. I'm really not expecting anything so not too bad at the moment. I do sound quite defeatist don't I? blush

Beegee3 Fri 26-Feb-16 17:19:21

More stiff upper lip than defeatist ababs

FatFlotillas Fri 26-Feb-16 17:54:27

Chewy! Go get your baby at the IVF clinic using ICSI! I'm convinced you've got some golden eggs left. Your baby is waiting! thanks

<waves to everyone else; sorry, I've only read up to page 33 of last thread>

Hula2 Fri 26-Feb-16 20:24:44

Hi Ladies,

Wondered if i could join as you all sound lovely and on the same page (which is def a different one for us over 40).

I m 40 (41 in a couple of months) with an amazing ds age 4 (took 18mns to concieve) and have been ttc no 2 for 2.5 yrs with a mc at 10wks in april 14 and a suspected chemical (faint bfp for one day) in oct 15. Found out last year i have immune issues (also have had a crap amh since trying for ds) and have been trying for a year with various immune txs and 6mns of superov. Hasn t worked and dh and i are not up for ivf with all my issues so its gonna have to be natural or not at all. I will take immune meds if i manage to fall preg. I have just gone back to acu (and herbs) as a last ditch attempt to pop out a decent egg and persuade my body not to evict it before it can get comfy confused !

Sorry to hear of those that have had losses, it s heartwrenching to go through.

But also great to hear of the sucesses too. I have two encouraging stories, my MIL had her eldest at 41, then a mc and then twins (my dh and his sis) at 43 and that was 40 years ago. Also my great gran had 12 kids and the last four of them she had at 40, 42, 44 and 45 !!

Here s to lots of bfps all round. x

Sofiaspaghetti Sat 27-Feb-16 04:43:48

Sofia here,44(45 in a few weeks) ...never have I NOT wanted to age so badly! Dp 42, he has 3 who live away with their mum,and I have 2 fully grown boys and 2 young boys ( so 4 boys!) with my previous partner. This baby we just lost would have been our first as a couple. My first mc.Feeling very out of body today. Cramps and tiredness but no bleeding. Again thanks so much for all the kind words.
hula that was a lovely encouraging story.

Sofiaspaghetti Sat 27-Feb-16 04:46:01

Oh and question for those who may know....it is 32 degrees here in Australia today and we live close to the beach...have been told not to go swimming for 2 weeks after a D&C ....anyone know if it would do much damage if I went swimming in the ocean?

ababsurdum Sat 27-Feb-16 06:34:29

Sofia there is a risk of infection so I wouldn't.

ababsurdum Sat 27-Feb-16 11:52:07

Welcome Hula, I'm sorry that you've had such a tough time so far and I'm sorry for your loss flowers. Hopefully the natural approach will work for you sooner rather than later.

Lovely encouraging family stories though, thank you for sharing them.

Fridgedooropen Sat 27-Feb-16 12:03:24

Can I join? Have been on the 40something threads a while back but not lately. 42, TTC #2 for 15 months now. Had an early loss at 5.5 weeks in Oct. Right now on day 25 of my cycle and mostly resigned to no luck this month. Hi to you all, I'll read through everyone else's stories now.

Fridgedooropen Sat 27-Feb-16 12:23:09

Can I join? Have been on 40s threads before but a while back. I'll read through properly in a moment but I'm 42, have been TTC #2 for 15 months, had an early loss at 5.5 weeks last Oct. Now on day 25 of current cycle, without high expectations but we shall see!

Fridgedooropen Sat 27-Feb-16 12:58:14

Sorry for double post, thought phone had lost it.

wotsitsmaltesers Sat 27-Feb-16 14:56:06

Sorry to hear about your row Beegee, hope you've got things a bit more sorted now and oh is fully on board. I've not managed deep and meaningfuls yet, in honesty I don't want to push him too far and scare him. I'm very clear in my head that having a child is the most important thing - I couldn't be with someone at this age who wouldn't at least be willing to try. I don't know what's going to happen - we've not been able to see each other for a few days due to work and avoided it when we did last meet. Things not great in the bedroom though. I expect it will all become clear in the next week or so - AF here at the moment so can't do much anyway (sorry tmi). The encouraging thing I suppose is that he hasn't run away. I feel sad and scared though. I would like to be able to talk to him properly about the fact that we've got nowhere in a year.
Welcome to fridge and Hula - so sorry about both of your losses.
Fingers crossed for you this month ababs and for all the other overs.

Kkmuppet Sat 27-Feb-16 15:17:53

Hi I'm 44, 45 in July. Have had lots of miscarriages and a perfect but stillborn daughter so a really rocky ttc journey. Still ttc a sibling for our 2.5 year old daughter.
We are now on the 7th month of trying after I gave birth and starting to lose heart. I am 9dpo today and driving myself mad symptom spotting - I'm feeling all kinds of things that could be early symptoms - nausea, fluttering, tired but just know in my head that I'm not preg although my heart keeps hoping! Bfn today and I've always had a positive either 8 or 9dpo with sensitive test before in the 8 or so times Ive been pregnant

Beegee3 Sat 27-Feb-16 15:45:16

Warm welcome fridge and hula smile
wotsits oh I really feel for you, all the uncertainty and heartache. Life doesn't make it easy does it? Good that you have some clarity in your head regards a baby, that's something. It may be that you have both needed thinking space and that he has some decisions to make, I really hope it comes good for you both flowers. I am in my fertile window at the minute so I am just going for it, we will have to just see what happens I guess, quite uncertain though and lots of reflective thinking going on. There is all the anxiety around practicalities i.e. we will have to live together and mostly my eldest and how he will react to a baby with dp (very stressful emotionally). I am scared but above everything else I want a baby and I don't think that is going away. Hugs to you wotsits xx

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