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TTC for 6 months+ thread #1

(272 Posts)
Shemozzle Tue 23-Feb-16 22:25:18

Anyone care to join me? The monthly bus threads just starting to get me down, I'm starting to feel bitter about congratulating all the first month of trying BFP's and so I need to step away. I was very lucky to have conceived accidentally somewhat miraculously with my dd1 and dd2 and always imagined I'd struggle if actually trying, and here we are.

I'm 29, dp is 43
TTC number 3
Cycle 6

Sunnydays321 Tue 23-Feb-16 22:45:13

Hi il join you. I'm just heading into month 6 off ttc no1, but only on cycle 4 (long post pill cycles!). I'm on a couple of other threads but feel the same as you, others keep joining, getting their bfps, and then leaving again and I'm still there!


MrsSHolmes Tue 23-Feb-16 23:09:08

Cycle 8 this month for my first child. Frustrating is not the word!

Zoefitness Tue 23-Feb-16 23:14:26

Cycle 7 for dc no. 1. Fed up, frustrated, don't wanna hear about ppl with bfp's on cycles 1-5. Really starting to think that me and dp have some kind of a fertility issue now.

I use clear blue opks - always Dtd around a smily face, how the hell am I not up the duff yet angry

Shemozzle Wed 24-Feb-16 00:37:30

Hi everyone! I feel better there are more in this sucky boat. Every other month I've just thought 'bad luck' this is the first time I've started to worry something might be up.

Doing a bit of googling tonight and it says to wait a year before going to GP unless you have certain health conditions or are a certain age? One I read says to go after 6 months if you've had chlamydia, and this has got me worried. I was diagnosed with it when I found out I was pregnant with dd2, and I strongly suspect I'd had it a while. blush Of course I'm super paranoid now that I have blocked Fallopian tubes or something. sad I can't decide wether to go and ask now or wait a while longer. Rationally, I'm telling myself dd2s conception was highly unlikely (coil fell out, conceived immediately one time straight after) and because of that everything is probably fine. But the worry that is starting to creep in will probably just make conceiving harder so maybe I need to go and have someone reassure me.

Where abouts in cycle is everyone?

StarkyTheDirewolf Wed 24-Feb-16 01:32:23

Does anyone mind if I get on? Technically I'm not 6 months yet, am on cycle 3 (but it's taken almost 5 months to get there).

I'm the thread starter on the ttc#1 threads (and will continue on with them) but completely agree about it starting to wear with the positivity and endless hopefulness, I'm feeling slightly bitter and battle worn with ttc now.

I'm cd 8/9...somewhere around there, not opking this month, not tracking cm, been consciously stepping back from all the stress of it, and seeing if just regularly banging does any good! I'm 29, Dh is 37. I think that I have a problem (possibly pcos, but have set a mind date of June before I go to the doctors)

I've had a wine, so apologies for any typos etc wine

Zoefitness Wed 24-Feb-16 09:12:59

Shemozzle - if I were you I'd book a doctors appointment and just explain that your really really worried that that is what is affecting your fertility because you got pregnant so easily previously.

Also make sure you really emphasise that this is causing you to be incredibly stressed and anxious - you can't concentrate daily and it is affecting your life. They will be more willing to help you then. I'm sure it isn't that btw but it's good to cancel it out.

I have been to the doctors and I kind of told a porkey - well kind of anyway. I said that we have been Dtd unprotected for two years (which we have), at least twice a week (which we definitely haven't). I have had my blood tests done and an internal scan. All of which were fine. DP ha had a semen analysis and we are just waiting for the results.

I'm worried that I have something wrong because I keep getting pelvic pain in the lower left side. I had this last month, it lasted a whole week and became more and more intense. I am cd19 and it's creeping back again sad. Who knows?!

Zoefitness Wed 24-Feb-16 09:21:11

Hi Starky. I feel the same, I'm starting to become rather bitter now. I really didn't think that I would get to this place. I also have starTed to cool down with the whole testing, symptom spotting etc. I am hoping that is what people who have already conceived, mean when they tell me to relax about it.

My trouble is that we sadly don't have the most sex active life in the world. DP has his own business and is usually stressed so he is often not in the mood for sex sad.

What makes you think that you have pcos? My cousin has just been diagnosed with that.

Your a lot more laid back than I am, I would be strAight down the doctors demanding tests. Haha

MancombSeepgood Wed 24-Feb-16 09:33:23

Thanks for this thread. I relate so much to what everyone is saying here. I am on cycle 6 of ttc first child. The thrilling excitement and hope I used to feel in the 2ww has turned into a horrible sinking feeling that it won't happen.

Shemozzle, make a doctors appointment and see if they can reassure you, for your peace of mind smile

This cycle I am 3dpo and grasping at straws to increase my chances. Have given up caffeine, eating lots of protein and full fat dairy, and trying to increase my borderline underweight BMI. I have also given up nail polish based on no evidence other than a random woman on YouTube
I don't believe those people who say "relax and it will happen" grin

Littlepixie85 Wed 24-Feb-16 10:36:57

Hi everyone, joining this one too as getting a bit downhearted. Been trying on and off for about 10-12 months with no joy. I'm late this month but after about 20 BFN I get the message wink unfortunately with no AF I have no idea when I'll next be ovulating! My cycles are long (about 37-38 days) and can be irregular. It's nice to have people to relate to on here smile

Zoefitness Wed 24-Feb-16 11:10:50

Hi Mancomb, I too am totally sick to death of hearing people say, just relax about it. If I hear that one more time, seriously going to go crazy!!

I too do not get excited anymore in the 2ww, only dread that another month has gone by and I am not pregnant. I just don't understand how you can dtd around peak fertile time and not get pregnant. Like, how is that even possible!!

Hi Littlepixie, sorry to hear of your struggles also, have you been to the doctors yet for tests?

Littlepixie85 Wed 24-Feb-16 11:25:13

I've just moved to a new area so registered with a doctors yesterday. I need to wait a couple of days to get on the system so will call on Friday and see if I can make an appointment (no doubt it will be in 2 weeks time or something!!). For now I am just trying to relax and will start using testing for ovulation around when I expect it to be (and try to DTD a lot!). I am trying for my first and never thought it would be so difficult! As I have never been pregnant before, I automatically think there must be something wrong.

Shemozzle - definitely go to the doctors, if only just to put your mind at rest smile

StarkyTheDirewolf Wed 24-Feb-16 13:59:30

zoe I have fairly long irregular cycles like pixie mine are on average 37-43 days a pop. I've got a beard, I'm jesting slightly but at certain points in my cycle I develop a proper goatee! Combined with a few other things it's just one of those thought nuggets at the back of my brain. I've decided June is when ill go to the doctors. Mainly because at that point I'll have about 18 months worth of data/tracking, and I first mentioned ttc last June to them. My Dh had an incident at work and had to have three months of hepatitis jabs so we were told to put off ttc until he'd finished those that was August

I honestly thought I was just being silly and it would happen immediately despite all my worries so when it hasn't, it's made me wonder. I don't dread the tww yet, but I'm an anti-tester. So refuse to test until I'm actually late. My boobs usually give it away though so I know I'm not pg when they start aching. I'm bored of symptom spotting though, and opking, I have a high natural level of lh (if the opk's are anything to go by) so I know that can make it more difficult to track/conceive and I've had no sign of ewcm since we started ttc.

I'm all over the shop emotionally today, in the middle of don't know whether I want to laugh or weep! Nightmare!

Zoefitness Wed 24-Feb-16 14:42:33

Aww Starky sending virtual hugs. I also am today. I said to DP this morning that I needed a strong drink already and I actually let out some tears (can't remember the last time I did that). Haha.
We have a lot of stress atm and on top of it all I am still hoping that a tad pole found the egg this time and that I get to see a positive test to cheer me up. I had to go to the doctors yesterday regarding some changes in my bbs and she made me do a pg test. That made me feel c**p because I knew it would be negative sad. I just thought to myself, only I would have preg symptoms and not actually b pregnant, very self-deprecating I know.

Going to the doctors with all of that data makes sense Starky. Make sure you get more than 5mins with them!! Do you usually see EWCM (obviously apart from lately) because that's another thing that freaks me out. I haven't seen any in, I can't remember how long!! & I remember seeing it once whilst going to the tolilet and I remember thinking ewww there's something wrong with me. Haha!!

Littlepixie I know what you mean. Who knew it was going to be this difficult!! We just have to keep dtd every month around ovulation time and hopefully it will happen sooner rather than later and then we'll be thinking damn why did I rush this, I haven't slept in weeks. Haha

StarkyTheDirewolf Wed 24-Feb-16 15:11:29

I did used to have ewcm zoe just none since we started ttc! And back th2n, i didnt even know the significance! doctor is quite good, he tends to take me seriously, but I've got to book for a smear today so I may bring it up with the nurse when I go then.

Ikwym, I had an unexpected baby bomb yesterday and it really threw me off, I had to have a wine last night and I don't usually drink but for some reason the baby bomb really knocked me sideways. I'm usually quite good, but it was second hand info through my Dh and he was worried about telling me, meaning he's noticed that my approach has changed. We've not told anybody were trying so having these groups has really kept me going, think I'd be bonkers if I was doing it completely alone!

Littlepixie85 Wed 24-Feb-16 17:11:33

We haven't told anyone either Starky so these message boards are so helpful...I only joined MN this week after I felt so down with all the BFNs and it definitely helps. Sorry to hear about the baby bomb hope the glass of wine helped wine

StarkyTheDirewolf Wed 24-Feb-16 18:41:29

pixie I've found its the not knowing that's the worst. Long cycles meaning the tww is actually a three ww. Wondering if an lh surge is actually indicating ovulation etc. MN has been brilliant for me. I joined because I was a night owl and the found my way gradually onto the other boards. The ttc threads have been a lifeline.

I was premature in that we decided to ttc in august, then we're advised to put it off till December. The particular board I joined were all planning to start January 2016, (it started in October I think) most of the original members were already pregnant by December, so it's been lovely with new posters joining in, but I've noticed my mood has changed somewhat. I'm usually a positive person but the ttc positivity is wearing thin slightly now. flowers

KatOnATinRo0f Wed 24-Feb-16 19:43:30

Hi everyone smile

I think this might be the place for me.
I'm on starky's thread and there are v few of us left not upduffed now and newbies are coming and leaving with their seeds at a rate of knots. Im v happy for them but v sorry for myself.
TTC since Aug 2015, currently on cycle 7, CD ?? I don't know I'm not looking at ovia anymore. Post-ovulation by a couple of days I reckon. AF due March 7th-ish

Zoefitness Wed 24-Feb-16 19:56:32

Ooh hey Kat - you are similar to me. I too am cycle 7 and af is due the first week of March. I don't use ovia as much as I used to. I just use it to record details, which I find super helpful. Have you been using any opks?

Starkly, (going to sound really silly now) but, what exactly is the oh surge? Is it something to do with the hormone that is about to be released when you ovulate?

Zoefitness Wed 24-Feb-16 19:57:09

*lh surge. Sorry I can't type on my phone with this predictive text malarkey.

bluebird3 Wed 24-Feb-16 20:41:59

Hi everyone. Some familiar names and I agree it's hard being in a new thread with people instantly getting caught. I'm Ttc #1 and currently on 12th cycle.

Had been feeling ok about things, then a coworker announced a pregnancy last week. She is dating another coworker and only met him 10 months ago...less time than we've been trying!!! Sent me into a downward negativity spiral.

Anyways, I went to the GP today and she said that as we are 30, healthy, and I have regular periods she doesn't want to do any testing for another six months. Can't decide if it's good that nothing is raising red flags or annoying that we need to crack on without answers.

KatOnATinRo0f Wed 24-Feb-16 21:14:13

Blue hey smile that's really shitty about your GP... I thought if you had been trying for 12 months under 35 then they would do something, 6 months over 35. I'm wondering if this is some cost saving measure by the NHS. Any chance you could have some private tests done?

Zoe yup... I'm just like you but probably less fit going by your username! Haha.

LH is luteinising hormone, which is produced by the pituitary gland and is what stimulates your ovary to mature and develop and release an egg. So that's what the OPK sticks detect

bluebird3 Thu 25-Feb-16 11:17:03

Yeah, I was surprised as I thought a year in would trigger something. I think as there are no actual signs anything is wrong, the GP thinks we're jut unlucky. I'd be up for private tests but dh is a nhs doctor and agrees with the GP. And to be honest, one of my good friends just went through every test imaginable and eventually had IVF (she's now 34 weeks!). But the whole process is so demoralising and takes all the magic out of getting pregnant, I'd rather try a bit longer the old fashioned way. I'll definitely do the Ivf if it comes to it though, just hoping I'm just unlucky and not a barren, dried up prune! Which is how i feel most days. sad

Zoefitness Thu 25-Feb-16 12:54:31

Aw bluebird that is so frustrating for you. I had a similar instance, only it was my friend who decided to tell me that had happened to her friend and she apparently hates children so is thinking about having an sensitive of my friend to tell me this information!!

I think that it's a lot to do with timing. I too have the same opinion, I want to conceive the natural romantic way!!

Zoefitness Thu 25-Feb-16 12:58:06

Thank you for the info kat. Xx

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