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Age 32, ttc for 6 months and getting worried :(

(31 Posts)
Bellini239 Sun 31-Jan-16 11:18:12

Hi everyone, I'm quite new to mumsnet... I have been ttc for 6 months now and am starting to get down and frustrated about the whole thing. I guess that I never expected it to take this long, possibly very naively, and each month that goes on I do feel concerned that there is something wrong with me. We use ovulation test sticks every month and each time I do get a positive reading, which I guess is a good thing. Does anybody know how long it can take or have any advice? Thanks so much for your time xx

Archduchess Sun 31-Jan-16 12:05:50

Hi Bellini, I am also 32 and have been trying for a year with no joy yet! So I may not be the best person to give advice on success, and I hope it will happen more quickly for you than for me... But it seems to be fairly common for it to take several months, at least. Even if you get to a year, like me, your odds are not that bad (although that's when you should consider getting checked out). The NHS website says that, of 100 women aged 35 to 39 trying to conceive, 82 will conceive within a year, and another 8 within two years. www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/2295.aspx?CategoryID=54 It doesn't give the odds for our age group. Having gone through lots of angst about it myself, I'd say distract yourself as much as possible and minimise the amount of time you spend thinking about it (eg on Mumsnet, helpful and supportive as it is)... Good luck!

Bellini239 Sun 31-Jan-16 12:33:47

Thanks Archduchess for your reply, I really appreciate your insight and perspective. Since you have been trying for over a year, have you gone to the doctor to have some tests or are you considering ivf? In truth, as much as I try to distract myself it's kind of always there in the back of my mind. My doctor did my amh test for me, has she done the same for you? It's strange I swing between periods where I'm quite que sera sera about it all to anxious and worried... My doctor has told me to consider having an IUI soon. One of my good friends, it took her 2 years to get pregnant so I guess we're all a bit different. Sending you archduchess lots of baby dust xxx

Archduchess Sun 31-Jan-16 13:20:50

I haven't had any tests yet, but my partner and I are booked for a consultation including sperm analysis in mid February. Fingers crossed!

I want to know if there's anything wrong and treatable. If there isn't anything obviously wrong, I won't rush into IVF straight away. I would want to try naturally for at least another six months. Those 50-50 chances after a year (for slightly older women, too) seem worth waiting out. I'm a bit underweight so I feel I can still improve my chances naturally. IVF seems a big, stressful step that I wouldn't want to take without it being necessary. In the meantime, I do worry it might never happen, and like you it is always in the back of my mind. I get very upset every time I get my period. I would like more than one child and I get anxious that my chances of even one are diminishing. But I try and remind myself that I am very lucky that being a mum is not my only option in life, there are other fulfilling ways to spend my time. Easier said than done, of course!

Was your AMH result normal? Has your partner had a sperm analysis? And, is your doctor NHS? I am going private straight away but worry about money-grabbing clinics.

Bellini239 Sun 31-Jan-16 15:26:52

I think having a sperm analysis test is a good idea, because you can begin a process of elimination and rather than a game of speculation make informed choices on the back of fact. I am seeing both nhs and private doctor. I find that private doctors move at a faster pace, but of course come at a cost. My husband had a sperm analysis test and his results came back overwhelmingly positive which actually made me feel better. It was about 200 pounds so not too bad. My doctor actually did my amh test for me last year as I had a seperate gynae issue at the time; mine came back at a reading of 4.98 pmol... She said it was slightly below average but nothing to worry about, plus my age is a huge positive factor. I think having an amh test would be very worthwhile and could give you a direction for a next move perhaps... Apparently a very low amh level isn't however indicative of your natural fertility chances, but of the number of eggs you have remaining.
I understand your concerns about IVF, so have you ever considered having an IUI? My doctor recommended me to try one soon... It isn't invasive like IVF at all and basically the amount of sperm trying to fertilize the egg is heightened significantly.
What is your GP like? Are they willing to do the sperm analysis and amh test for you?
I know what you mean that it isn't the end of the world not to have children, but I feel very confident that you will be able to eventually especially given your age (out age). My private doctor did however make a passing comment once that IVF tends to have a higher success rate the younger you are as the eggs tend to be of better quality. I think me and my husband will move to private IVF this year sometime if we haven't conceived naturally.
Do you take pre natal vitamins and use sperm friendly lubricant? Xx

Archduchess Mon 01-Feb-16 06:46:14

I would definitely consider IUI, being relatively non invasive. It seems it has a relatively low success rate, but I guess it helps if there's something stopping the guy's swimmers getting up to the uterus / Fallopian tubes.

I have been taking vitamins all this time - I ought to be one of the best nourished people alive! Mainly the seven seas conception ones - and I've also started with omega 3s. I'm not sure there's a good scientific basis for anything other than vit D and folic acid, but I like to feel I'm trying! I've recently read about low-dose aspirin as something which might help some people. I'll probably end up giving myself a stomach ulcer!

Sperm friendly lubricant - occasionally, but only if necessary. It's a bit of a turn-off, I find, it makes everything feel very functional and reminds me of fertility struggles at the worst possible time!

FellOutOfBedTwice Mon 01-Feb-16 06:59:39

I tried for six months aged 28 and Accupuncture and Chinese medicine seemed to work for me. I was diagnosed by a Chinese doctor as being damp and my hormones being out of kilter as a result. I have rheumatoid arthritis which is apparently a common "damp" disease that makes your hormones go out of wack. Worked for me and I became pregnant. It might be bollocks but for £100 for the Accupuncture and herbs I felt it was money well spent. May be worth a go.

Bellini239 Mon 01-Feb-16 09:44:37

Archduchess: yes, I know how you feel about all of the vitamins! I'm not sure if they do much good either lol. I'm going to see my doctor this week so I will let you know what they say! If there is anything you'd like me to ask on your behalf let me know

Felloutofbed: thanks for the reply! May I ask how many courses of acupuncture you had? How long had you been trying before you finally got pregnant? X

Osirus Mon 01-Feb-16 22:30:20

I started trying at 31 and knew by cycle 3 it wasn't going to work for us. I was right. We've just had IVF and I'm now 20 weeks pregnant. The testing and waiting for IVF seems to take forever but we found the treatment itself quite straightforward and not too stressful, although I know some people suffer terribly with side effects.

Bellini239 Mon 01-Feb-16 22:54:06

Hi Osirus, really, how did you know so quickly it wouldn't happen for you? Can you tell me about the ivf procedure, was it painful? I can't decide whether to wait a bit more or get going with ivf! Thanks!

Archduchess Tue 02-Feb-16 06:44:27

Thanks Bellini for offering to ask your doc a question on my behalf. Don't worry though, I have my appointment quite soon, so I can save them for then. I hope it goes well at your appointment this week, let us know how it goes!

Bellini239 Tue 02-Feb-16 18:47:00

Hi archduchess, thanks I definitely will keep you posted and pass on any feedback I get. Speak soon! X

Bellini239 Sun 07-Feb-16 21:09:30

Hi Archduchess, how's it going?
Hope you had a lovely weekend

So, I went to see my doctor and explained that I was worried about not conceiving after 5 months and she told me it was very normal, but did say that after a year it's best to immediately do tests to see whether or not Fallopian tubes are blocked... Because if they are it doesn't matter how many times you have sex!
But I did explain to her that I didn't really want to wait too long because I do want to have quite a big family, preferably by the age of 36 and to avoid the health risks of having children older.... So se said I could try the IUI or even try IVF privately and did warn me that NHS queues are looooooong!!

But actually since I went I do feel more relaxed about the situation and feel that I will probably try IVF later this year... I also booked for fertility acupuncture this weekend, so maybe that might help? I'm not sure!

What about you?

Flamingoblue1 Tue 09-Feb-16 10:23:30

I'm 29 and been trying since October with no luck. Periods all over the place. Last period was light stopped and started and generally a pain. Getting fed up now xx

Bellini239 Tue 09-Feb-16 11:21:44

Hi Flamingoblue! Sorry to hear you're feeling frustrated, have you been to your doctor? Xx I know how you feel, every month that goes on it becomes more annoying to see a negative test!

Flamingoblue1 Tue 09-Feb-16 22:16:58

I was going to go GP tomorrow but I'm not sure if the junior doctors strike will affect appointments etc?

Bellini239 Tue 09-Feb-16 22:51:48

Hmmm, I'm not too sure tbh... Are you ovulating each month? Someone told me that Angus castus is very good for helping to regulate periods X

ijustwannadance Tue 09-Feb-16 23:01:18

Took me 9 months to conceive at 32.

Beansprout30 Tue 09-Feb-16 23:12:51

Good luck with acupuncture, I'm sure that's what helped my get pregnant after 18 months x

Beansprout30 Tue 09-Feb-16 23:13:06

Me

Archduchess Wed 10-Feb-16 07:21:43

Hi Bellini!
Great to hear you're feeling more relaxed, fingers crossed that you'll get good news soon. Glad to hear the doctor was quite reassuring about your situation at the moment, and it's great that you are happy with the option of private IVF if needed.
My partner and I are both going to a fertility clinic tomorrow for our initial consultation, so that should help work out what is next for us. I expect they will offer tests like a HyCoSy to check my tubes, as you say, and my partner's booked to do a sperm analysis with them.
I'm quite nervous about it... But I know we need to find out what's wrong, if they can identify the problem(s). I expect it will take at least a few weeks, if not months, from tomorrow to actually get all the tests done and results back, so I should probably pace my anxiety!

And Flamingoblue, good luck to you too. I have heard that you should go to the doctor before a year is up, if there is something noticeably strange about your cycle (or any other reason for thinking there might be a treatable cause of not conceiving). It may well turn out not to be anything, but might be worth getting your cycles checked out.

Bellini239 Wed 10-Feb-16 14:16:16

Thanks for the posts everyone! Archduchess, let me know how your consultation goes? I think it's natural to be worried, but if anything is wrong at least it can be fixed. I had my amh done again, the doctor sent me an interesting report about the peripheries by age groups that are acceptable, happy to pass on to you! Good luck and keep me posted xx

Flamingoblue1 Wed 10-Feb-16 18:43:12

Thanks guys. I'm going GP tomorrow. Someone on another thread queried whether I was already pregnant due to nature of bleeding but I doubt it. I'm taking agnus cactus is anyone else ?

Bellini239 Wed 10-Feb-16 19:02:29

I take it yes, but not after ovulation. It's quite potent apparently... I think if you did a pregnancy test then that would confirm it? X

Flamingoblue1 Wed 10-Feb-16 19:22:48

Yes I did a test last week before my mad period/bleed that was negative so I don't think I am. Oh well come what may... Im trying not to get too bothered by it all

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