Dilemma, should I stop bf for baby no.2?

[MusicMum18]

Hi,
Don't know what to do....struggled to bf my dd but she's now fully bf but she feeds to sleep, it's the only way I've ever got her to sleep! She just can't go to sleep on her own and majorly stresses out.
She feeds at 3pm then throughout the night, every half hour to 2 hours. She feeds to sleep every time.
I planned to bf till she was 1 , she's currently 9 months, then just thougt we could wean off gradually, but I don't know how to do this. Sometimes she doesn't feed, just has a little suckle, sometimes it's bigger feeds. Hv says she should be sleeping through now, which panics me. Plus I go back to work in March and don't know how I'd cope.

I'd love a 2nd baby though, but would need ivf. They said I can do ivf after a year of giving birth which would be April, but they said I need to have stopped bf and have had 2 periods. My periods haven't returned yet.

My dilemma is that I want stopping bf to be just a gradual weaning, calm for baby and me. But she screams in the night till I bf her and she won't settle any other way. However if I didn't want another baby I would carry on bf for as long as she wants in the night. Starting to feel guilty for thinking of stopping bf to have another baby. I'm nearly 38 too so want to have one sooner rather than later to avoid possible complications etc.

Has anyone else any experience of being in a situation like this? I want to start easing up bf through the night, but no set patterns of feeds or time lengths etc it's all just random!

[queenofthepirates]

My feeling it, given the time pressures on you, I would be inclined to start night weening. There's lots of ways to try it from reading Angela Henderson's book on sleep training, replacing boob with a dummy or what's known in our house as a 'sleepy rag' (a bit of fabric that was tucked down my bra so it smelt of milk). It sounds as though you could do with a bit of moral support-can you chat to your HV about what to do?

[MusicMum18]

Well my hv is rubbish! It's so hard to make this decision but at the mo she depends on feeding to get to sleep throughout the night it's such hard work I need to try to reduce if I can but don't know how. It doesn't feel fair to lo to just stop I want to do it in a kind way! Could try using a dummy but then surely I'd have to wean her off that eventually ! thanks for your advice/support xxx