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I promised I'd relax

(9 Posts)
Julieb85 Mon 18-Jan-16 11:45:15

So DH and I have decided to TTC #2...last time round it took almost 3 years and I got myself very very stressed about it all. AF here at the moment - so not even really started and I'm already adducted to tracking and MN. Any tips on how to relax?!

Luckystar1 Mon 18-Jan-16 11:48:53

I 'relaxed' by taking action. Which I appreciate is not the traditional definition of relaxing!! I got weekly acupuncture, adapted all our meals for optimum fertility boosts, took conception vitamins and got in touch with my cycle.

I felt that by 'doing' I could relax...

KittyandTeal Mon 18-Jan-16 11:50:50

Tracking was what sucked me in to the stress and obsessional behaviour. My counsellor suggested I stop and the thought made me sick and out of control.

One month I drive myself so bloody demented I gave up, refused to temp, poas or even have sex. I decided I was done.

2 months later after very little sex poor DH i am now surprise pregnant.

Don't get sucked into tracking!

Julieb85 Mon 18-Jan-16 11:53:35

I seem to say I'm not stressing, or getting sucked in but I absolutely am!! I went down a horrible route last time and don't want to do that again. DH even arranged some spa days etc but the more head space I get the more I obsess!!

OwlinaTree Tue 19-Jan-16 15:51:33

Just DTD every other day when you are not having AF. That is what will get you pg.

Lucinda15 Tue 19-Jan-16 17:32:31

I have also promised to relax and take it easy and not put pressure on ourselves. I even tell this to people who are foolish enough to ask how it's going, and I actually believe myself half the time. Except behind closed doors I have a tendency to turn into an obsessed neurotic mad woman.

I have tried to stop temping/opk/SMEPing etc etc. But I think I'm with luckystar - i need to feel in control to stop stressing. If that makes sense. I need to know I'm doing what I can. I'm doing the SMEP method this month which feels quite good so far. Dtd every other day, feels fairly relaxed. I am also doing acupuncture and reflexology which help keep me calm and level headed somehow.

AliceScarlett Tue 19-Jan-16 22:36:12

Sames... I didn't know I'd be this obsessed and its my first cycle confused hoping I'll chill out soon as the initial excitement wears off.

Keeping busy helps me.

Iwonderif Wed 20-Jan-16 08:59:38

I agree, tracking can take over massively and the obsession leads to anxiety & stress. Possibly then leading to BFN. The vicious circle is distressing. I think everyone's situations are different. I "tracked" but loosely. Being in control like what lucky said is brilliant. I did the same with #2, ate well and took vitamins etc. Was slightly more relaxed with #3 however was making sure I was taking vitamins a few months before ttc.

IrisPurple1 Wed 20-Jan-16 12:35:39

Kitty congratulations on your pregnancy! I remember you from other threads and I know how long you tried and how much you wanted this. I am so happy for you. flowers

Relaxing is definitely recommended (I've lost count of the stories I've heard where people give up, stop trying and then fall pg), but virtually impossible to do!

I actually have issues coping with uncertainty, so this is really hard for me. I just focus on the areas where I feel I have control such as diet and exercise. I log everything (when we dtd, symptoms etc) to enhance that feeling of control.

I don't temp or use opks as they can't provide that exact certainty I need and would just make me worse. My husband jokes that I wish I had a window into my womb!

Keeping busy helps too of course!

Good luck smile

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