Can we conceive a girl?

[luckymommy]

I've never posted on any forum before but I just wanted a bit of advice if anybody can help?

I'm blessed with 2 amazing sons, I love them more than life itself. I've always wanted a big family (4/5 bambinos) but both of my boys had to be born via section, which means I can only have one more (which is fine by the way, I'm not being ungrateful, I'm so lucky!)

Anyway, I'd love to have a girl, and this is my last chance as the consultant said I'd have to another section and after three they want to sterilise me.

So...I've read loads about when to do the deed in relation to ovulation and foods to eat etc but I wondered if anyone had any advice that works? Any experience of trying for a girl and it working?

If we're lucky enough to fall pregnant again and it's a boy we are 100% happy with that but if there's a chance I could increase my chances of having a girl I'd like to give it a go.

Please don't think me ungrateful for what I have, I know just how blessed I am. If I wouldn't be thrilled with another boy I wouldn't try again as any child deserves to be loved unconditionally, but as I said, as this would be my last blessing I would like to see if we could make a baby girl.

I'm really conscious that people may think I'm awful for wanting to try for a baby girl but please don't take this as being ungrateful. Baby boys are AMAZING too!

Waffle over, advice, experience, anything will be gratefully received xx

[CinnamonBunYou]

Apparently the sex of the baby is down the bloke so probably not much you can do

[Fourormore]

I don't believe it "worked", far more likely to be a coincidence but I took calcium and magnesium tablets while TTC and, by chance, our timing was "right" (DTD two/three days before ovulation).

[BlueSmarties76]

Are you guys bonkers or is this a total wind up? What could possibly be done by parents ttc naturally to ensure a sperm with XX chromasomes not XY reaches and penetrates the egg!!??

OP, if you are serious, the only thing you could do AFAIK would be to go to a country (such as some in Europe) which allows IVF parents to select the gender.

[raddersmrs]

I have read about Dtd a couple of days before ovulation rather than when ovulating as the female sperm will live longer so be sitting and waiting for the egg whereas the male sperm die sooner but swim faster.

My suggestion would be to get some ovulation sticks and do one everyday for a couple of months so you can see when you are ovulating and the pattern. You can then make sure you are Dtd a couple of days before ovulation rather than on day off.
Not to say it will work but it's worth a shot.

I can't see how foods and positions etc would change it to be honest so I don't believe in all that.

[Artistic]

Tried twice & worked both times. If you can get a consistent pattern to your ovulation & dTd 2-3 days before that...and then don't try again for the rest of the month. Basically only once in the month & precisely 48-72 hours before ovulation. High chances of a girl. I promise you, it's worked twice for us.

[OgreIt]

I read somewhere that Y sperm swim faster but die sooner than X sperm, which is why, in theory, dtd quite a few days before you ovulate (and not immediately before) might make a girl more likely as the Ys would all have died before they had their chance. Having said that, I imagine it would depend on any number of factors like how many X sperm there were to begin with and your own body chemistry.

[SparklyTinselTits]

I read somewhere that the older the father, the higher the chances of conceiving a girl something to with "male" sperm being able to swim faster in a younger man, but they slow down as a man gets older, so the "female" sperm get a chance to catch up? No idea how true that is though!

[longestlurkerever]

There is some scientific basis to dtd a bit early and then abstaining. You reduce your overall chances of getting pregnant as many sperm will have died but those remaining have a higher chance of being female. You're probably only talking about a few percentage points different though.

Op, not judging as I was pleased when I found out I was having a girl, but why exactly do you want a dd so much? I've realised since my dds were born that it was a bit silly to have preconceived ideas about their likes/dislikes /family dynamics and future relationships etc based on their gender, as they're individuals and not defined by their gender. Certainly I had to cast aside any notion of quiet afternoons spent watching my dds draw as they're as boisterous as any boys we know. You sound like you've thought hard about your reaction if you get pregnant with a boy but have you thought how you'll react if you have a girl but she doesn't behave how you imagine a girl will? As I say, not judging, just inserting a note of caution

[Zorion]

I feel the same as you OP and have been reading up too, the problem is there seem to be studies that contradict each other (Shettles and O+12) and it isn't as though you can give the other one a go if the first doesn't work out, is it?!

longestlurkever for me, having a daughter isn't about behaviour or likes/dislikes, maybe a tiny little bit about clothes but not a lot. It is about the reality of closing the "daughter door" forever if it doesn't happen. You can say "oh but maybe your daughter would have been like x or like y" but I may never be lucky enough to have the opportunity to find out, which is what I'd like - the chance to see what a daughter of mine would be like, just as I've been lucky enough to see what an incredible boy I can make!

[luckymommy]

Thank you everyone for your input. I know there is no way to guarantee the gender, and if we did get a girl and she didn't conform to 'gender stereotypes' it wouldn't concern me in the slightest, hell if she wanted to be transgender I'd be behind her 100%! I'd just like to try for a girl if possible but would be just as happy to have 3 boys bouncing around the house

Seems timing is my best chance, so thank you. I'm glad I'm not the only one hoping for a specific gender, makes me feel better!!

[Whatdoidohelp]

It's all down to the dads sperm. As you have 2 sons already the chance of the next one being a girl is 47%. The shettles method etc may work but most of the success stories will be down to pure chance.

www.ingender.com/Gender-info/Odds-of-having-another-boy-or-girl.aspx

[raddersmrs]

Please keep us posted on how you get on and if you use any methods and if they work etc. Be interested to know!

[luckymommy]

Will do but it might take a while......!!

[smellsofelderberries]

Statistically, if you have two of the same sex you are more likely to have a third of the same. The shuttles method has been debunked and anyone who claims it worked for them, it worked by pure chance. The only way to conceive the sex of your choice, is, as a previous poster said, to go to a country where your allowed to do sex selection IVF.

[VestalVirgin]

Could you try to let the little swimmers swim longer than usual? I heard the male ones don't like the acidic environment of the vagina, so if you force them to swim their whole way up, more girl sperm might survive.

I'd be really interested in whether this theory works - for science.

[ShowOfHands]

Other posters are right. There's a smattering of theory but in practice, your chances rarely deviate far from 50/50.

Women are often told do x or try y in relation to having children and usually it's twaddle. You can't control the sex of the baby or know its sex from cravings or how you carry. You can't induce labour with curry or pineapple or sex or anything else. There will always be coincidences of course but the science tells us that this is just chance. In a world where we have control and instant information, it's hard to accept that something is so wholly out of our hands.

I do subscribe to the view of personality trumping sex. Boys and girls are more than what's between their legs. Which I know you know. However, I do understand why you'd like a girl. Regardless of the fact that it tells you nothing about the individual child, it is a biological and cultural difference and why wouldn't you be curious? My children are individuals but I share a biological history with dd. When she asks what does x feel like, I know. When ds asks about his penis, I ask MN! It's a subtle and not hugely important thing I suppose but raising my girl is a bit different to raising my boy on a personal experience/relations level. I can see why you might be curious about that difference. There's every chance of course that my biological inevitabilities are very different to my daughter's but it is different having that empirical experience. Not sure I'm making any sense. I guess what I mean is that fundamentally, dd and I share a biological background, Ds's is entirely Other to me. Overwhelmingly though, we're individuals.

[raddersmrs]

Showofhands, that makes perfect sense to me and I think it describes it so well! That's exactly how I feel and why I would really like a girl too but obviously will be happy with any healthy baby.

All you can do is try it out and even if they are just myths at least you know you tried. If you didn't do the suggested things people would never know for themselves, even if it is just coincidence.