Emotional mess!(5 Posts)
Hi everyone. DP and I decided roughly a year ago that I should come off the pill. At the time we had been together 3 and a half years and were both in pretty well paying jobs. Unfortunately DP then lost his job and has only managed to find temporary work (sometimes for only a week at a time) so money is really tight and I have to keep borrowing from parents to pay the bills. We have also just been told that the house we are renting is going up for sale and we have 2 months to find somewhere new, meaning we need to save up a deposit somehow with DP out of a job. So with all this going on the TTC really hasn't been happening at all, my periods are normal-ish now (was on the pill for 9 years) so really we are avoiding sex when my app is showing I am fertile (tbh we don't do it often anyway). I am kind of ok with our decision to put the TTC on hold as obviously our financial situation is not good at all. But my problem is this, my brother and his girlfriend have recently announced they're pregnant. Myself and DP have been together 4.5 years and they've hardly been together 4.5 months. This was an unplanned pregnancy and I think they would be in a lot worse financial situation than us, we have more bills but my monthly salary is more than theirs combined. I can't help feeling really jealous. To make matters worse she proposed to him this Christmas! Myself and DP are not engaged as once we get engaged we want to be able to plan a wedding and even though I know it is possible to have a wedding for less than £1000, we cannot afford anything at all.
I know this post has been a bit all over the place and to be honest that's probably because that's how I'm feeling. When I saw a picture of the scan of my soon to be niece or nephew I filled up with tears, but I can't help but think those tears were because I was upset it wasn't me...
But does it really matter that they are having a baby before you are ready? It won't change your plans for when you are ready to ttc again. You sound like you've made very sensible plans about when to ttc, when you're ready to afford the wedding you want etc. Just because they're moving faster doesn't mean it won't happen for you when you want it to.
I guess you're just sad you're not in that place yet but don't link that feeling to their pregnancy and engagement - totally separate things.
Thanks I guess I just really need someone to speak to. Strangely enough my mum must have guessed that we want to have a baby as she asked me if i was ok when they announced it and that she knows how difficult it is to watch someone close to you have a baby when that's what you want.
I'm glad we've decided to wait just for the financial aspect and I believe that everything happens when it's meant to so I suppose I'm just going to have to wait and see when our time will be!
sarah sorry to hear you are having a rough time. The feelings you are having are totally normal and dont feel bad for the it should have been me feelings I think we have all been there. I know this isnt very helpful but things will work out for you- and all the sweeter when your a nicely settled and dont have money/house worries!
Thank you hilzypop
I am trying to stay positive which works well 99% of the time but then every so often I need a moment to just feel upset. I think with my birthday coming up soon too I'm worrying that the years just keep flying by and my life still isn't what I want it to be. I'm glad someone understands though!
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