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Chemical pregnancy/early miscarriage...very insensitive GP?!

(8 Posts)
WasWebb81 Tue 22-Dec-15 14:27:47

Will try and keep this to the point, but head is a bit all over the place.

I found out I was pregnant last Wednesday - the day before due on. Tested slightly early as loads of symptoms and was due to go on massive Xmas lash with work. Tested again Friday and Sunday, all positive, still massive agonising boobs etc.

Woke up this morning bleeding and crampy, boobs deflating (literally overnight). Went straight to my (female) GP and explained. She looked at the dates (I should be 5 weeks ish) and basically said I was 'never actually pregnant' and this was my period and went on to bemoan the fact that modern tests are so sensitive, that this happens all the time and that in 'her day' (she is pretty much retired) you were told not to test until you were 1-2 weeks late.

I sat there trying not to cry, she made me feel so stupid. Three positive tests and I was 'never pregnant'?! I completely understand it was really early days and this is clearly very common - but shouldn't she be correctly explaining this as a chemical pregnancy - i.e I was pregnant, but clearly it didn't work out? I KNOW that I was.

Add to this the fact that she'd found out 2 mins prior that my first pregnancy (ttc #1) ended in March this year (MMC at 12 weeks), and all round, not terribly well handled.

Her only other advice when I said the bleeding had actually seemed to have stopped was to 'see what happens and test again in a week if you're not sure'. Again, I know there's not much that can be done at this stage but.....

Left the room and sobbed on DH.

Has anyone else had similar experience?

GuessHowMuch Tue 22-Dec-15 14:42:50

Wow - what an absolute bitch of a GP. Sounds lucky for the profession that she is close to retirement. I'm really sorry you've been through this this cycle - I agree with you that you were pregnant and that there needs to be a recognition of that and the chance to express emotions and grief about the way things have turned out. Take care of yourself.

WasWebb81 Tue 22-Dec-15 15:22:19

Thanks Guess.....appreciate it.

It's strange as she's normally lovely (if very practical)...I wonder if she was just being completely blase and didn't think about what she was saying?!

BoboChic Tue 22-Dec-15 15:25:39

I think what your GP was trying - and failing - to get across was that a very high percentage of conceptions end before pregnancy has started. You weren't ever pregnant - you had, however, conceived.

Faybells Tue 22-Dec-15 17:50:32

I am really sorry for whats happened and for the insensitive comments from the GP. I think sometimes people can look at it very logically/medically, however you want to put it, and forget you have feelings and hopes and excitement and anxiety all wrapped up in those (3!!) very real positive tests and symptoms. And then of course the huge disappointment and sadness that comes when you find out it's not to be.

I too had a chemical pregnancy/miscarriage at only 4.5 weeks last month following a very traumatic miscarriage at 11.5 weeks in July. I had 4 positive pregnancy tests and all the symptoms (every day for 4 days a day before period due). I then started bleeding. I had told my mum I was pregnant and then had to tell her rather sheepishly that I got my 'period'. I got almost exactly the same comment from her as u got from ur gp about the early tests causing more problems than good and things being different in 'her day'. We continued to speak of it as a 'period' which just made me feel incredibly sad and foolish and confused because I had the positive tests and we were all nervous and excited and hoping so much things would be fine after the first mc - and now we were all pretending i never had the tests and none of that happened!

Anyway - the night before my 'period' I sent off my midwife referral, and so I rang to cancel it as I got my 'period'. They were very kind while I was trying to play it down as a period and everything was OK. They told me to call the early pregnancy unit for advice. They again were very kind and very matter of fact - they told me it wasn't a period, that I HAD been pregnant and I was having a miscarriage, albeit a very very early one. It was such a relief to hear that and to feel I could finally acknowledge that I WAS pregnant. It also allows me to recognise the 2 pregnancies and 2 miscarriages so if it happens again (God forbid) we will be entitled to testing following multiple miscarriage.

Although I was initially very disappointed and sad I actually moved on from it very quickly, which I am still struggling to do with the first miscarriage. But i still don't want to ignore it happened. And I don't think we should have to.

So basically - don't play it down, don't feel stupid for being upset, and allow yourself to acknowledge what's happened.

I hope you are feeling better soon and send you lots of baby dust and good luck for Christmas and 2016 xx

WasWebb81 Wed 23-Dec-15 14:01:07

BoboChic - yes, guess so, just very bad choice of words!

Faybells - thanks for such a long response and comforting words. I'm not going to wallow in it, and feeling a bit better today and with Christmas stuff (going to drown myself in booze, cheese and pate) to distract - but completely agree we shouldn't have to pretend it never happened. After the last time, we were trying to be as reserved and pragmatic as possible, but it's impossible not to get excited. So sorry to hear about your experience with the other miscarriage too....even more cruel when you get to what seems like pretty much a 'safe' stage.

Good point on recognising it as an early miscarriage - god knows what she put on my notes, but will be even more frustrating if told this doesn't 'count' should we have more problems (although hoping, as I'm sure you are, that that is it now!!).

Same back to you....have an amazing Xmas, and may 2016 bring you that BFP as soon as possible! xx

honeysucklejasmine Wed 23-Dec-15 14:06:11

A gynae consultant at A&E (weekend, no ooh) told me the same. Insensitive twat. It was my first pregnancy.

I ignored them. The conception had the potential to be a baby had it not gone wrong. Therefore it was a pregnancy.

Wombat87 Wed 23-Dec-15 14:14:10

I've just had terrible times with my doctor last week:

Was booked in last Monday due to the fact that I am in the early stages of pregnancy (now 6+6). Could barely understand him due to him speaking barely above a whisper and mumbling. When I could hear him he went on to berate me for having a termination in my late teens, stating that "14/15 is considered too young, the age I was at was fine", anything over that is just an excuse (WHAT THE....). I then went on to explain my concerns having had a lot of issues previously with cysts and endometriosis in the past and some bleeding in this pregnancy. I'm also extroverted womb-ish. I'm at risk of ectopic pregnancy and miscarriage. He didn't even look at my notes. Not a glance. He told me to go to A&E if I was having difficulties.

Got to A&E having been berated, left in tears and petrified, waited 4 hours in a&e only for the doctor on duty to have said that Dr Alam could have called the EGU or the EPU directly and gotten a direct appointment for tomorrow.

I'm popping in to the doctors tonight to collect a complaints form.

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