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Ttc after D&C for abnormalities

(3 Posts)
Dollface136 Wed 09-Dec-15 15:49:38

Hi all
I couldn't find a recent thread to join, and have been off mn for a few months so thought I would start one as I really need the support I know these forums offer.

I struggled to conceive with PCOS but fell pregnant in July. At my 12 week scan I was immediately told that my babies brain had not split into two lobes as expected and referred. I was told later by the specialist that our baby had alobar holoprosencephaly (quite rare) and that we should terminate.

We had the d&c on 16th September and I was numb. I wanted this baby so much. Now I feel the grief has hit my full force. I don't know how I can carry on.

I am desperate to get pregnant but have only had one af since the D&C and am now on CD 42.

I'm also terrified this could all happen again although the specialist said this was unlikely.

As I say, I feel like after the initial autopilot I have now fallen off a cliff. I go from being ok to being totally inconsolable at the drop of a hat. I don't want to eat, or see people.

Anyone else in a similar position? Any advice on how to get through this grief? Any good stories about going on to have a family?

If I could never have children I think my life would not be worth living.

ChatEnOeuf Thu 10-Dec-15 07:37:46

Not completely the same, but I'm TTC after my son was stillborn in May. What you describe is exactly how I was. I liken grieving to being on a beach with my back to the waves - you never know when one's going to hit and how hard. It does get calmer, but six months down the line I still have days when I don't really feel like doing anything or seeing anyone. My appetite did come back after a couple of months. I think ARC have some good info about TFMR and the specific aspects of grief and guilt following it. It's a little different from stillbirth I guess.

There's a quiet thread in here called something like Angels and Rainbows (they also have a grads' thread for those happy conclusions). I've been on that one, but mostly I've stayed on the Just Shagging threads - they've been with me through the whole journey.

Good luck, and I'm really sorry that things didn't work out first time flowers

Dollface136 Tue 15-Dec-15 12:47:13

Thank you ChatEnOeuf and I'm so sorry for your loss. I appreciate the advice and your analogy is spot on. I will check out ARC for some advice. xx

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