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We are all a bit bonkers, worshipping the travelling womble conker, we rub the grad's bumps for luck and shag without scientific schmuck (Most of the time!) Its Just Shagging 56!

(1000 Posts)
MyBlackCat Fri 13-Nov-15 12:03:58

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a Kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 55 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

ChatEnOeuf Fri 13-Nov-15 15:33:12

Woop! New Fred!

TTC: Jan 2014 (long story)/July 2015 (short version)
DCs: DD, 4; DS forever 36/40
Fur babies: 1 stressy tabby

pretzelpieces Fri 13-Nov-15 15:42:23

Place marking and cooking a 28 wk mini pretzel.

oneyorkshirepud Sat 14-Nov-15 14:49:06

Also place marking with a 35 week Christmas pudding. Shit the bed

FeatheredTail Sun 15-Nov-15 09:43:58

Hello! Feather, 32, upduffed with peach sized 14 week little feather who was conceived quickly following a mc in June. Will be DC 1.

justtheonethen Sun 15-Nov-15 21:23:54

Hurrah, thanks black

Yep, going into the garden! I give them bloody loads of veg and eggs too. Cheeky feckers shock. I'm not surprised though, I was home early one day and saw their little girl jump over the fence and go straight into the chicken coop to take eggs a few months back!

MyBlackCat Sun 15-Nov-15 21:37:00

Age 33
TTC #1 since dec13 mc june14 @10 weeks
1 furbaby

pud how are you 35 weeks? Where did that go?

This is my first thread, I've been here too long, I hope it's my last grin

KeepTheHope Sun 15-Nov-15 21:38:57

Yay new thread!

Name: Hope
Age: 26
TTC #1 since September 2015
Cycle #3

So this is the 4th thread I've been on and 4 is my my lucky number so I have high hopes, because obviously that's how it works wink

Just I can't believe they actually go into your garden!! I presumed the tree was near the boundary and they could reach from their side. The cheek of some people! And how brazen to just tell you like that.

SockQueen Sun 15-Nov-15 21:40:22

OMG that's horrendous! I'd be so tempted to put barbed wire or something up. <terrible neighbour> My parents used to tell me off if I climbed into next door's garden to get my ball back, never mind stealing food.

Name: SockQueen
Age: 31
TTC: 13 months, currently TWOT-ing first cycle of Clomid.
DC: 0
Fur babies: 0, though I'm trying to persuade DH to get me a Mog plush toy for Christmas blush

oneyorkshirepud Sun 15-Nov-15 21:47:01

That is full on stealing Just! shock I would be having a word!!

Black I have no idea how this happened ha ha. Gx this is a very lucky Fred for you.

justtheonethen Sun 15-Nov-15 22:01:12

It's probably my fault, we have got friendly with them and they are a bit over familiar. I should say something but I know I won't! They suggested we put a gate between our gardens last summer. confused

f1ddlesticks Sun 15-Nov-15 22:15:42

Hello all... Made it over the the new fred, hope everyone's well.

Age: 38
TTC #2, second cycle
DC: 1 DD

Gx this is a lucky Fred for a few of us, happy to be here with you all smile

corgi88 Sun 15-Nov-15 23:13:33

Hello viroids! Hurrah for new Fred!

Name: corgi
Age: 27
TTC #1 since june 2015, now on cycle #5
DC: 0
Furbabies: 1 mischievous corgi

pud I'm cd 30 now which isn't unusual, my cycles have been 32 days usually. But I had some bleeding after dtd on 31st which I assumed was ice bleeding, so going by a 12-14 LP AF should have arrived by now.... Hmm.

just well that is just naughty. Definitely time for some quince pinching (?quinching)

Ditsy79 Mon 16-Nov-15 05:29:42

Name: Ditsy
Age: 36
TTC #2 since June 2015 (cycle 6)
DC: 1 DD
Furbabies: 1 crazy moggie

just defo get some barbed wire - the cheek of it!
On cd18 now, gx something has happened this month. We have shagged every day since AF finished, don't think we can do much more than that! TWOT now, due on 27th Nov, so let me know if anny if you are having a pissy party around then!

Runner05 Mon 16-Nov-15 12:53:25

Hello ladies, still lurking

Name: Runner
Cycle: 1
CD: 23
DPO: 10
DC: 0 step-DC: 2
Fur babies: 0

Feeling a bit embarrassed but I did a 10mlu test this morning. I'm pretty certain there was an almost invisible line on it but it was so feint I couldn't get a photo. I kept it and a couple of hours later it had got the teeniest bit darker. Just enough for me to be able to see it on a photo if I fiddled with the contrast a lot. I'm going to do another super drug test tomorrow with FMU (today's test was second wee of the day) feeling really nervous as I wasn't expecting to get upduffed on first cycle wanted to get drunk at Christmas party and worried that I imagined the line and current line is evap. Eek!

SockQueen Mon 16-Nov-15 13:07:32

Progesterone level was 38 - the clinic letter says >18 for ovulation, but the lab reference range says >30 - either way that's promising! So OPK, CM, temp and now progesterone all suggest icing, just the scan that didn't agree timing-wise. We haven't had as much sex as I'd have liked though. Planning on POAS on Friday, trying very hard not to get hope up.

corgi88 Mon 16-Nov-15 15:41:05

runner really I should give you a hooya for testing so early but this is exciting! Good luck for Friday sock

angelazul Mon 16-Nov-15 15:50:13

Name: angel
Age: 33
TTC #1 since aug 2015, now on cycle #4
DC: 0
Furbabies: 0

The witch due this weekend, feeling very bloated, right pelvic pain, hot flushes & needing to wee every 5 minutes. Trying not to get my hopes up, had the same symptoms my first cycle, but the witch came after many bfns a week late angry

Sounds like a promising start to the new fred, gx corgi sock & runner.

ditsy that's some going, you must be exhausted now!

KeepTheHope Mon 16-Nov-15 16:00:40

Sock that sounds very promising either way.

Eee gx for everyone testing this week, I'll be joking you toward the end of the week too. Hoping it's going to be the start of a very lucky thread all round.

ChatEnOeuf Mon 16-Nov-15 17:43:20

What an exciting start. Will celebrate icing with a pissy party grin

Ditsy79 Mon 16-Nov-15 17:50:12

Gx for you angel , keep and everyone else testing soon. Hate the waiting of the TWOT.

justtheonethen Mon 16-Nov-15 18:10:09

Ooh runner that's exciting!! Gx for the unicorn

frer are on bogof in boots

ZylaB Mon 16-Nov-15 19:16:17

Name: Zyla
Age: 38
TTC: just lurking until after Christmas when hopefully things will be go! Just ordered super strength frolic acid from docs to start taking now
DC: one DD 9 months (a JSing baby!)
Fur babies: 3 cats smile

f1ddlesticks Mon 16-Nov-15 20:58:26

Frolic acid Zyla? Freudian slip or JS lingo?!

angelazul Mon 16-Nov-15 21:02:26

Vidroids, I'm in a little bit of a dilemma - I'm due to get flu vaccine in work tomorrow, I think they ask if there's a possibility you might be pregnant before giving the vaccine (from what I can remember from previous years). The chances are there'll be colleagues about, & asking to speak to the nurse privately will no doubt set tongues waging. What to do, what to do??

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