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Trying again after mc

(29 Posts)
Northernlight22 Mon 02-Nov-15 20:35:29

Hiya, been a bit useless at coming in here these last few months!

As the title says, I'm back in the saddle so to speak after a miscarriage at 11 weeks in August. 2 cycles down now, although this one is the first one we've properly started trying again.

I'm struggling quite a lot at the min though as I'm surrounded by friends and work colleagues who are pregnant (one of my friends is due within a week of what would have been my due date). I just want to end this crappy year on a high with a bfp that sticks.

Any buddies would be most welcome, I need people to keep me sane! I'm in the 2ww now smile

mascaraisamust Mon 02-Nov-15 20:45:50

I also mc in August, at 8 weeks. I'm also in the tww. TTC straight after but my first cycle was really long and now I've had a proper AF it's probably for the best. I've just been prescribed progesterone for my short luteal phase and my AF usually appears 8 days after ovulation. I'm anxiously waiting and hoping for a pre-xmas bfp, however I must be realistic it might not happen straight away. I know it's hard but hopefully the next time will be the one that sticks smile

Northernlight22 Mon 02-Nov-15 20:51:28

Fingers crossed for us both! Luckily my cycles have settled down quite quickly and I got a smiley face on the CB sticks this month (starting to put the effort in again this month)

Believeitornot Mon 02-Nov-15 20:54:12

This will sound trite but fingers crossed it all works out. I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks and it was horrible. It took three months but we managed to conceive again and once I had dd in my arms it was like I felt whole again.

I remember the feeling of envy and anger that others were so easily pregnant but I wasn't. It did eat me up.

Northernlight22 Mon 02-Nov-15 21:38:34

I was ok with other people being pregnant when it first happened but now I just feel really low. I just want to be pregnant again before my original due date as I'm really not sure how I'll cope with it if I'm not. We've booked a holiday as a distraction at the time it would have been but I know it won't be enough

Andie92 Mon 02-Nov-15 23:11:31

Hi, I'm not trying to upset anyone but I had an MC at 10 week when I was much younger (17) and from my experience and how I felt, it just seems a little soon to be trying again. Just give yourself time to come to terms with what happened and mourn because you love a baby from the moment you find out you're pregnant (Even if your bricking it). And I know what it's like to be around pregnancy afterwards, one of my older friends gave birth two weeks after my MC and even though I was happy mother and baby were healthy I couldn't help but feel a little bitter.

But it could be that your older than I was (I assume) and more adjusted to the fact that these things happen and you have to move on in life, but that was just how I felt at the time it happened.

I'm sorry if this post upsets anyone, I didn't intend to.

belkins Tue 03-Nov-15 00:06:52

Hi northern, I think we met on another thread?

I miscarried at 5.5wks just a few weeks ago and there are moments it hurts like hell. I'm a great one for burying my emotions though so I try to not focus on it. It's the little things that catch you out; making plans for next year that I couldn't have done whilst pregnant, or seeing the meds I was taking (I have to take progesterone as I suffer from recurrent miscarriage - this was my 8th mc).

I wish you the best of luck, and hope you somehow find peace on the journey. It will happen for all of us, you too Mascarisamust. Positivity is the way forward thanks

Northernlight22 Tue 03-Nov-15 20:32:38

Hi andie, don't worry, you haven't upset me. I knew I was ready to try again, been trying for over 12 months now so it feels right to get back on the wagon so to speak! I'm early 30s so although I'm older im no wiser ha!

Hi belkins, most likely as I did my name change and started posting again a few months back but had a bit of a break again. Little things catch me out all the time - 2 girls at work have announced they are pregnant this week and Ive been a bitch since then!

DizzyMerry Tue 03-Nov-15 20:56:43

I had a mmc in September at 12 weeks and just finished my first AF post mc. We decided to ttc straight away as that's what we want and it feels right for us.

Fx for your bfps northern and mascara. I was also on the April AN thread mascara and remember you from there.

GoulashSoup Wed 04-Nov-15 15:42:54

Hi All, mind if I join you? I'm sorry to meet you in a sad place, I hope it becomes an exciting (if very nervous) place for us all soon.

I had a MC in June at just past 8 weeks. It has been far harder than I had immagined. It took over a month post surgical management for HCG to drop off, I bled on and off for most of August, had one 37 day cycle and I think I'm now in the TWW on what looks to be a normalish 28 day cycle. It took 90 days to ovulate for the one that we lost so I am relieved that I seem to at least have something that resembles a cycle. I think I'm out this month, got caught a bit by surprise ovulating so early and I think our timing may have been out.

Andie, you are right I am certainly not recovered emotionally from my MC. I don't know that I will ever get over it. I am sure it will make any following pregnancies much harder. I already have a little boy and the age gap is creeping larger and larger. We have been trying since the begining of February, and I have had other health scares this year (all resolved) which could have had an impact on my fertility, I am also nearly 33. For all these reasons I feel I would like to have another child while I am still relatively young and healthy, and to have a sibling my son will be young enough to play with. I do feel that getting pregnant will be an emotional rollercoaster but it is also part of moving on for me rather than a rebound baby.

Fingers crossed for you Northern and mascara.

mascaraisamust Wed 04-Nov-15 16:24:16

Sorry to hear about your losses all, and I'm so sorry DizzyM.

This is only our second cycle ttc since mc and its with progesterone which I've managed to get after begging to help my LP so I'm hoping miracles occur but I'm not so sure this month as timing was a bit all over. They say you are more fertile, I think it depends on the person, everyone is different but I'd like to think I won't be still in the same position in another 10 months...

Fingers crossed for all x

Northernlight22 Wed 04-Nov-15 21:45:46

Definitely fingers crossed. I'm having a crappy week this week with 2 work colleague announcing their pregnancies and 1 sending in their new baby pictures. Being good as in 2ww so can't even drown my sorrows in a bottle of gin!

belkins Thu 05-Nov-15 13:21:34

Big hugs Northern.

I get a cold sweat just thinking about a colleague announcing a pregnancy so I can only imagine how you're feeling.

I had progesterone for the first time in my last cycle Mascara, the only side effect I suffered was massive bloating! Looked pregnant! Fingers crossed for you.

I'm in limbo as to what I should do - my last cycle (which ended in mc) was a Clomid cycle with progesterone when I got a positive HPT. But when I contacted my consultant to tell him about the mc he gave me no advice, just told me to follow the advice of the EPAC consultant (who also told me nothing - literally nothing). So who do I turn to? What should I do next? Back on the Clomid?

As if this wasn't stressful enough, having to push for answers just adds to it all!

Amarker Thu 05-Nov-15 14:57:41

Hello ladies, would it be possible for me to join?

I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks just over 3 weeks ago now. There's no longer any HCG in my system and I have to say, my body went back to normal really quickly and is producing its usual thick/white CM. It was clear and stretchy just a week ago, so I'm thinking I did ovulate then.

I fell pregnant very easily that time and I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks in August, so things are really difficult.

When I got to 10 weeks with my recently miscarried pregnancy, I was so happy because I felt as if I'd finally past what was my danger time with the last pregnancy. Little did I know, one week later it'd all be over again.

I'm so sorry for all of your losses. It sounds pathetic but I'm in such a shit mood about Christmas/New Year right now and I felt absolutely ecstatic before the miscarriage... thanks

Amarker Thu 05-Nov-15 15:15:04

I'm really confused by these responses to the OP.

Even if you don't want the baby touched on the grounds that it isn't to do with hygiene, but more to do with personal space.. A newborn really isn't that bothered! I'd understand if the woman just picked the baby up or touched the babies mouth etc, but a little gentle stroke to the face? confused

I think some people are far too precious.

Amarker Thu 05-Nov-15 15:15:57

Apologies for posting that second post! My mistake grin

Northernlight22 Thu 05-Nov-15 20:31:37

Not sure at all Belkin, disappointing the consultant was no help!

Amarker sorry you are having a crappy time of it. I'm quite looking forward to new year now so I can put this really shitty year behind me!

DizzyMerry Thu 05-Nov-15 20:58:00

Belkins ring your consultant again and tell him you haven't been given any advice by the EPAU. It's ridiculous that you were fobbed off. I'm assuming he's a specialist so should know the answers. Sorry you've also been through this.

Amarker sorry for your loss. It's rubbish but we'll get there fx.

GoulashSoup Fri 06-Nov-15 09:23:44

Sorry you are in a confusing position Belkins. I would have thought it would be the original consultant that gave you the clomid/progesterone combo that should be advising you. The consultant in the early pregnancy unit was there to manage the miscarriage not advise on fertility going forward especially as you were already under someone else's advice. Personally I would want to go on clomid/progesterone again as it was successful in getting you pregnant, however I wouldn't want to do that without checking first as I know clomid can only be used for a limited amount of time and I wouldn't want to waste it if it wasn't optimal. You may be lucky and the pregnancy could also help to 'kick start' your cycles naturally. If you have no joy with your consultant could you go to your GP to discuss it. They may be able to enquire to the consultant on your behalf.

Hi Amarker sorry you've had a rough few months. Sounds like you are a fertile myrtle so fingers crossed for you soon. Hopefully the next one sticks.

Hello fellow tww friends. I am at day 28, 15 dpo if my fertility friend app has it right so the next couple of days should let me know if it is mulled wine and blue cheese or smug abstinence for me.

Happy Friday

Amarker Fri 06-Nov-15 10:54:37

Thank you for the lovely replies.

Do you believe that those who get pregnant after one cycle are just lucky or do you think they're not and they're really more fertile? smile

SweetAdeline Fri 06-Nov-15 11:01:19

Hi I hope you all have good luck this month.
I only miscarried two weeks ago (at 10 weeks) and am trying really hard not to ttc until I've had a first AF as the pregnancy I just lost was off on dates since quite early on so I think for peace of mind I need to be sure of dates in the future. I have very low willpower though so may just go for it if I get fertile signs in the next few weeks.

Amarker Fri 06-Nov-15 11:31:45

Sweet, I can agree with you there! I miscarried in August and by the September I was pregnant again, had no idea of dates really. This made things all the worse for my dating scan etc. For example, because they weren't sure of dates because I had no LMP, I was told twice (whilst already miscarrying), that "it could just be too early to see anything".

I can't put myself through that again. I'd rather wait for my first AF and start after that.

I will admit though, I had fertile CM for a few days last week and if I was in the right frame of mind, I probably would have tried.

DizzyMerry Fri 06-Nov-15 11:38:32

I was the same sweet! Said we wouldn't try until first AF but then we did and I gave up after a few days as I just didn't know what my body was doing. I do opks and didn't get a positive either but gave up on those too. It was just a stressful time and I feel much better not first AF has been and gone. Do what feels right for you.

Northernlight22 Fri 06-Nov-15 19:08:46

Definitely do what's right for you.... I wanted a month of eating cake, drinking gin and eating Brie, but there were days I considered trying in them at first cycle. To be fair, I think we both needed a break!

I'm contemplating whether to have a drink tonight or not? I'm in 2ww so plan was to stay sober but I've had a crap week!

SweetAdeline Fri 06-Nov-15 19:36:09

Yes I can understand wanting to have a break. We were trying to conceive for a year before I got pregnant and I was so fed up of ttc.

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