Winging It With Nature(5 Posts)
Hi all, this is my first post on mumsnet. On any mum site. I'm not a mum, but I want to be. We both want to be parents. So we're trying. Well not trying. Just waiting and seeing. We're both super relaxed about it. We both know we want a baby - together - 100%. But we have no time limit. Today, next week, next month. Within a year I guess would be our only bracket. I came off the pill four months ago due to a health concern, and last week I had unprotected sex for the first time in my entire life. I cried a little. It was a big deal to me. He patted me on the head like a dog and it was enough.
I'm so sorry, this can't be easy reading, all these short sentences. I'm usually a good writer, but this is how my thoughts on babies come into my head. Random strings, no structure. And I don't think that means anything bad. Just for once in my life I don't feel like I'm over thinking it. Babies are hard. I get that. We get that, and we're as prepared for that as anyone can be. We've talked about the division of labour. Who takes the night time feeds, the early mornings, who works, who doesn't, who we trust to babysit when the time comes. How we would like to raise a baby. Who we tell I'm pregnant and when. But all in casual conversation, over a ten minute lunch or before we fall asleep. We haven't disagreed on anything. Yet. Which is unusual, because we disagree a lot.
We're as different as chalk and cheese. Really. Everyone who knows us would tell you, has told us, they'd never have put us together. We're opposites in practically every way. But, so far, when it comes to our one-day children we match. If you're going to agree on anything it might as well be your children, right? It gives me confidence. We don't fight though. We both hate arguing. We bicker just fine, we're skilled at it - apparently we're quite funny. But as soon as a storm starts to brew we both walk away. Literally. Him to his man-cave, me to anywhere else. We're not sulking, we're not ignoring the problem. We're breathing. Dissipating. Ten, fifteen, twenty minutes later one of us will go find the other and ask some benign question. You want a sandwich? Ten minutes after that we both say sorry. And whatever it was we were fighting about is either no longer important, or gets resolved. We've had a small handful of massive blow outs, but they were over really important things. They were justified. Worth it. That's our policy. Before we argue, is it really worth it? The yelling, the dirty looks, the sick feeling in the pit of your stomach. 9.9 times out of 10 the answer is no. In the grand scheme of things, there are very few things worth hating each other over, even if just for an hour.
I digress. Kids. Love them, in general. Like giving them back too. As I write this I'm babysitting my niece. My partner's niece. My one-day niece. She'll be two in a couple of months and she is a saint. An angel. The child form of your favourite cupcake. All soft, sweet and appealing. I must not base my desire for children on this baked-good child. She is rare, and I know it. She does not strop, or tantrum. It's time for a nappy change? Ok. Time for bed? Sure thing. Not a peep. Unreal.
Most of the children I know are good. But then I'm a believer in nurture over nature. It's how you raise them. I hope I raise mine right. Please let me raise mine right.
So yeah. Those are my rambles of the day. I'm sat here with a toddler's shopping basket on my lap full of dolly hair accessories, a pair of little girl socks, a tommee tippee cup half full of blackcurrant and a fake chocolate chip cookie.
Oh, and I might be pregnant. I guess it's unlikely. Last week was my first ovulation/unprotected sex combo. But it's possible. I keep mentally checking to see if I feel different. Running an internal audit to see if I can detect anything extra in my body. I can't. I'm very tearful, but I just got back from a holiday in Cyprus and reality was waiting at the airport as soon as we hit the tarmac. Work. Washing. Housework. Bills. And it's raining. Anyone would be tearful. But you never know. My period is due next Wednesday/Thursday. Clearblue test on Sunday/Monday perhaps... Will I write again? Maybe I'll update you. I've quite enjoyed this. Maybe I should start a blog. And rediscover longer sentences.
You definitely need to start a blog!! Short sentences are fine; more amusing even.
Good luck on your quest to mummydom, I look forward to all your further updates!!!
Wow that was a great read defo make a blog i'd read it on a regular basis, but then again i read anything to get out of my actual work. I'm currently sat at work, with a maybe baby of my own 18 DPO and no AF yet.....
Agreed - this is an amusing and witty first post. My advice though on reading some of it - don't over-think it. There is never a good/right time to have a child and you certainly can't plan for some of the things you've mentioned. If it feels right....just go for it. Best of luck.
It wasn't a bad read, i've seen worse!
Looks like you're in a good place together, it'll happen in time. My advice is to enjoy the sex, and nature will take it's course. Relax!
I've got some personal advice on conception, but i guess what worked for me won't necessarily work for everyone else!
Hol x x
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