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Dealing with friends pregnancy announcements

(10 Posts)
GreenEggs8Ham Sun 19-Jul-15 07:32:29

This summer is becoming the hardest of my life. We've been ttc for two years, but for some reason only in the last few months has each friend's announcement hit me like a punch in the gut. Yesterday dh's best friend announced, and we then had to spend the whole day together. I nipped to the loo twice for a cry, but got through it without anyone noticing. DH doesn't feel the same - he's my optimist - and I don't know how to explain how I feel. It's like I have a bereavement. Any advice on getting through this would be so, so welcome.

patienceisvirtuous Sun 19-Jul-15 07:56:26

It's hard. I tend to try and put up a barrier where I feel nothing and then fake the expected reaction.

I also have a little mantra 'my journey is my journey, theirs is theirs' so that I avoid comparisons.

Don't beat yourself up for how you feel, it's normal x

sizethree Sun 19-Jul-15 08:25:06

It's absolutely normal to feel that way. It's so tough when people share their news when you're struggling.
How open have you been about TTC with friends?
I found it a bit easier to take the news when I started being a bit more open about my TTC battle and recurrent miscarriages. It meant friends were a bit more aware that it's not so bloody easy for everyone and when they made announcements they gave me a tactful heads up first, so I didn't get baby bombed on Facebook by yet another smug scan photo. (Aaaargh, social media and pregnancy announcements!)
Really hope you get your BFP soon.

Beansprout30 Sun 19-Jul-15 10:01:56

You are not alone in feeling this way, it's just the whole pregnancy thing I struggle with, when the baby comes along I don't tend to have such jealous feelings. I don't have any advice on how to deal with it, but I wish you all the best in getting your bfp xx

Dayc Sun 19-Jul-15 10:05:17

I can totally empathize, it seems like everyone around me is pregnant at the moment. I've just come on today and felt like bursting into tears. Fingers crossed you get your positive result soon x

hilzypop Sun 19-Jul-15 12:12:55

its really hard and can only sympathise will be all the sweeter when it is your turn fx! my sis is due #4 a fourth unplanned and happy accident, she cant understand why one or two of her friends have gone all distant on her, I think I can! I think people need to cool it a bit with baby announcements on FB it does just feel like they are gloating about their reproductive good fortune , and peoples comments like well done, its nothing to do with being clever- in fact in some cases its a moment of absolute stupidity...I digress! sorry again it is really tough for you.

Ilovenannyplum Sun 19-Jul-15 12:21:09

When TTC DS, it was bloody awful. It was like everyone in the world was announcing their pregnancy. I blocked a lot of people's facebook feeds and did a lot of secret crying whilst pretending to be happy for everyone.

I really hope you get the news you want soon x

MamaLazarou Sun 19-Jul-15 12:22:39

It's hard, isn't it? You've just got to try and remember that another woman getting pregnant doesn't make it any less likely that you will get pregnant. Try hard to be happy for them - it will make you feel good.

fruitlovingmonkey Sun 19-Jul-15 12:46:06

I second patience my mantra is "everyone has their own journey to pregnancy and mine is not related to theirs". Still find it fucking annoying though, especially those surprises I am not prepared for: friend who never wanted kids, friends who have recently split up with their partner, etc. Otherwise, I try to prepare in advance eg I'm seeing Mary today, maybe she will be pregnant. I'm worse than MailOnline with my bump watch!

GreenEggs8Ham Mon 20-Jul-15 13:28:18

Thanks for so much support – really, really appreciated. I've already been saying the journey mantra to myself. I think my upset reaction was probably to do with PMT too, as AF seems to be on her way. I also think I need to keep the faith that things are going to work out for us too – for some reason I feel very pessimistic, and it seems to make me more upset when people announce preg. This is really unlike me as I LOVE my friend's babies... need to kick-start a positive mindset.

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