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Am I mad to want twins?

(13 Posts)
eaiand2 Fri 17-Jul-15 19:31:35

I think I might be, but I'm just stuck on this thought.

I have a wonderful DD who's 14 months old, I love her to bits, but she was originally a twin. Sadly the other didn't survive and 'vanished' and I never would have known if I hadn't had that pesky early scan to check viability. Obviously I was disappointed, but I put it aside as I'd never expected twins and tbh I was just over the moon that I hadn't had a mmc and I was going to have a baby.

But now we're thinking of ttc again soon and all I can think about is twins. I don't know if she was a fraternal twin or identical, but there were two sacs on the early ultrasound, so I think fraternal, which means I might have a predisposition to them (though the only other twins I know of in the family were my maternal great grandmother and her sister, so it's pretty far back if genetic). I now find myself hoping hoping hoping for another twin pregnancy. I know they're high risk, I know twins usually end up on NICU, I went through all that thought process last time in the 6 weeks I thought I was having twins.

So now I find myself thinking that I'm going to TRY for twins. As in, add supplements in that raise the chances - soy isoflavones, black cohosh, sweet cassava, and high dose folic acid.

So am I mad? Is there anyone else out there who wants twins? Almost everyone I've heard talk about multiples has said things along the line of, 'at least it isn't twins' or 'i don't know how anyone copes with twins' or 'i was so worried about the risk of twins.' I can't be the only one out there who actively wants them, can I?

SusanHollander Fri 17-Jul-15 19:57:49

I used to want twins....then my sister had twins and I quickly realised I did not want twins! I have 11 months between mine and that's incredibly hard, but twins....I'd have been admitted to the local pysch ward by now.

I think the idea of twins is lovely but the reality is just exhausting. With my twin nephews it was literally pick one up, other one cries, settle first one, put it down, pick up second twin, settle, then first twin starts crying again.....

I stayed with my sister for a week when they were a few weeks old and came down with glandular fever afterwards. It was pretty horrendous.

Having said that there's a lady on the nursery run with triplets...identical toddler triplets....now that is hard grin

RalucaMorena Fri 17-Jul-15 20:04:43

If you are 37-39 you have a high chance of having twins. We're ttc #2 as well and I just turned 37 so fx!
Well, fc is not another mc!...

IrisPurple Fri 17-Jul-15 20:08:21

No you are not mad, and not alone!

I would dearly love twins. The main reason is that I am too old to fit 2 risk free pregnancies in, and I had vowed never to have an only child, as I feel that I suffered a lot emotionally and developmentally growing up alone. I begged my mum to give me a brother or sister to play with, but it was not to be. At school other kids and teachers said I was spoilt because I was an OC, even though my father wasn't part of our family and we had little money.

A twin would be a ready made playmate right from the start. I know it would be more expensive feeding two mouths, but we would spend less on expensive experiences if they could entertain each other. I could see myself paying for other people's kids to come on trips just so my child could interact with other children growing up.

My husband's dad is an identical twin, and he is always joking about it. He would love twins too. But I heard that the twin gene only cones down the maternal line...

I don't mind if they are identical or not, nor what combination of gender. I wouldn't do twee things like dress them up the same LOL

Eaiand2, your story makes sense too about how much you want twins. If you want them bad enough inconvenience and cost can be overcome. flowers FX

eaiand2 Fri 17-Jul-15 20:10:01

I know it's hard.. I have a friend and a cousin (by marriage so no family connection to her) with twins, one Ivf and one naturally with an 18 month gap between them and her toddler. I know they've had struggles, obviously, but my cousin's twins were born 6 weeks after my DD and I don't know how to explain it, but every time I talk to her or see her and her girls I think of what could have been and feel heartsick.

kellyandthecat Fri 17-Jul-15 20:29:00

I had my twins at 42 and everyone told me the chance increases with age. I would say they were a happy surprise but yes it was a bit daunting but you make it work. Of course they are the joy of our lives (don't tell the others! wink)

RalucaMorena Fri 17-Jul-15 20:34:23

My cousin had her twins this March. She was 39 then and it happened 11 years after get ds. It's a bit hectic there but they love every minute! smile
My mum also has twin cousins. .. so hopefully. ...

ThroughThickAndThin01 Fri 17-Jul-15 20:39:24

I was desperate for ds3 to be twins as DH had put his foot down about having more than 3 dc and it was my only chance to have four, but unfortunately he was only a single! I have loads of twin relatives too, sob.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Fri 17-Jul-15 20:39:53

forgot to say good luck, I hope you get yours.

Nospringflower Fri 17-Jul-15 20:39:57

I would have loved to have twins and always hoped for it! I now know someone with triplets and apart from the worries about a healthy birth I think I would have loved triplets!

Helish Fri 17-Jul-15 20:43:22

I had a three year old when my twins came along, the first few months were bloody hard but it does get easier. If you have one already it's not as much of a shock to the system and you know the hard bits don't last that long. Other twin mums tell me it gets easier after they turn one

eaiand2 Fri 17-Jul-15 21:02:03

A part of why I think I'm mad is that DD was a colicky baby. Screamed her head off most of every day from when she was 10 days old to 3-1/2 months and then she did a total 180 and has been great since for the most part. I think back to those days and wonder what I'd do if I had two babies like that and well, it would be horrific. But as you say, I know it doesn't last long, and I think if I had twins I'd be more willing to ask for help from family whereas last time I basically martyred myself turning everyone down because I thought I ought to be able to easily do everything myself. Of course, if I'm lucky enough to even get another singleton I'd also be taking people up on offers of help, too.

ChatEnOeuf Sun 19-Jul-15 08:20:14

I can sort of understand - I know too many of the downsides both during pregnancy and the sheer unrelenting hard workness of twins, but I miscarried twins last year and secretly would love to get another chance to carry a pair. Be happy with whatever I get though to be honest.

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