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41 and wondering whether to ttc number 3

(15 Posts)
Polkadot1 Fri 17-Jul-15 00:01:01

Hi - I'm 41 and wondered if there were other mums out there in a similar situation. Got 2 healthy boys (1 and nearly 3) but got an overwhelming desire to ttc a 3rd. Is 41 to old????

holeinmyheart Fri 17-Jul-15 00:12:06

No, go for it. I hope you have twin Girls as two of each would be lovely.
Providing you are fit and well, you will be fine.

Liveinthepresent Fri 17-Jul-15 07:05:13

Nope I had my second at 41 and it didn't make a jot of difference to any aspect of my pregnancy compared to first ( though that was late 30's too !) I would definitely go for it.
What are you worrying about specifically ?

Polkadot1 Fri 17-Jul-15 07:38:43

It's the risk of abnormality in the baby I think that could change the dynamic of our little family . I think I'd be fine as am pretty fit and healthy. Just the "40"number in my mind means an exponential rise in risk ?!

smellsofelderberries Fri 17-Jul-15 14:37:07

A friend of mine did this...except she was umming and aaahhing over #2. She went for it and ended up having twins. She was 41 and her DH was 51! So while twins aren't likely (unless there is a family history) it is something to think about!

holeinmyheart Fri 17-Jul-15 16:49:13

At 41 you are going to get tested for abnormalities. I did and all mine were healthy. I had the last at 40.
You just have to accept that you are going to have to have tests.

Liveinthepresent Fri 17-Jul-15 19:55:02

I don't really know how great the 'risks' are I know they increase but I took it as a very small risk getting a bit bigger but still being a very small risk really .. Possibly over simplifying though!
I had no more tests than anyone younger would - just the nuchal and blood thing ( can't remember any names !) but I would possibly have Harmony if it were new as so easily available. The only difference was I was 'offered' induction at term but I declined and it was irrelevant as baby came 2 days before EDD
I guess when you think about adding to your family you are going to worry about something going wrong whatever your age.
My midwives (London) were utterly disinterested in my age- saying they only treated pregnancies for older women differently when they were first timers at 45+
And said that wasn't uncommon.
I have a good friend who has had her two at 41 and 43 as well with similar experience to me.
I know this is just my experience but hope it's helpful !

TravellingToad Fri 17-Jul-15 20:00:27

If it's abnormalities I suppose you just need to think about what you'd do if the results came back showing something. Would you be prepared to abort? Maybe a discussion to have with DH before Ttc? Good luck!

drinkscabinet Fri 17-Jul-15 20:14:40

I had DC3 at 41. Pregnancy proceeded as normal, although he did come a bit early (36 weeks). I think that had more to do with my car breaking down on the motorway a few days earlier than my age.

Polkadot1 Fri 17-Jul-15 23:14:16

Thank you all- very useful info and advice. I think I'll wait a month or so (going back to work next month- in case that's subconsciously triggering my feelings), but if still feel the same will encourage DH about starting ttc (I have mentioned it but I'm not sure he thinks I'm serious at the moment).

I think I'd go into it thinking "if it's not meant to be then so be it"- so if didn't get pg or if was a high risk and we had to end the pg then we're pretty lucky anyway.

It's reassuring to hear others stories though, as for me having a baby over 40 was a "no no". God I hope we wouldn't have twins - that would be a step to far! But we'd deal with it I'm sure.

I just love the little boys out babies are becoming and think being a mum is so magical it would be great to try to do it once more. Although is hard work - it's all worth it smile

FattyFishwife Sat 18-Jul-15 16:24:54

of course not!! but if you are keen, then I'd do it now rather than hum and har for a while. I had dc #5 in nov 2009, when i was 38.

I faffed about one way then the other about going for a final one (I was too worried about what people would say about my age and given that I had 5 already)

after my mum suddenly needing a heart op in 2013 I suddenly decided i didnt want to wake up one morning with regrets, so went for it. it took me almost 2 years to catch, sadly to end in a MMC at 9 weeks, in May this now at the ripe old age of 44 Im back on the bike (so to speak) and trying again like mad!

good luck!

FattyFishwife Sat 18-Jul-15 16:26:01

I meant to add, all my previous pregnancies too 3 months or less to concieve, but now being over 40, its taking so much longer, thats what i meant by going for it now rather than mulling it over for a year! xxx

SukiBambuki Fri 07-Aug-15 14:38:34

Interesting thread. Those who had 2nd or 3rd babies in your 40s, were the pregnancies harder than your earlier pregnancies? How about getting back in shape afterwards? Was is harder or no different? I am just 39 and wondering whether to try for a 3rd (first with new partner). Would like to wait a year but can see lots of reasons to do it asap, baby's health being main reason but also if i had it by next August then it would get a place at the outstanding Ofsted school DC currently go to (any later and DS2 would have left to go to secondary school so they wouldn't get in under the sibling rule, assuming it doesn't change). Can someone please tell me is the last point is a totally bonkers reason for TTC sooner rather than later??

GoooRooo Fri 07-Aug-15 14:40:22

Those who had 2nd or 3rd babies in your 40s, were the pregnancies harder than your earlier pregnancies?

I'm about to turn 41 and pregnant with my second. Had my first at 37. I am much more tired this time but I don't know if that's my age or because I have a three year old!

AuditAngel Fri 07-Aug-15 23:04:53

I was 42 when DC3 was born. I did have complications, but my age had nothing to do with that.

It took me 3 months to fall pregnant with both DS and then DD1, but DD2 took 13 months. I was resigned to it never happening.

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