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Long term TTC - tricks for keeping sex life alive?!?

(6 Posts)
PipAndPosey Tue 14-Jul-15 18:30:29

Hi there - I posted this thread in Relationships earlier ( http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2425476-Am-i-being-emotionally-unfaithful ) but it was suggested I start a new one. My question is: how do you and DP keep sex life engaging/interesting/fun when TTC? We've not had sex just for fun in over four years now!

princessvikki Tue 14-Jul-15 18:42:57

If your using ovulation test kits, recording temps ect stop it, it adds pressure and makes sex a timed act for baby making rather than fun. Try not to stress about conceiving... Believe me I know that's easier said than done. Chances are if your more laid back you'll conceive when you least expect it. It's only when we gave up on timing I got pregnant

PipAndPosey Tue 14-Jul-15 20:15:07

Yeah we've never really gone in for ovulation tracking or temping... Just our sex life is so monotonous... We even make a joke of it now: "make it quick and unenjoyable" is our chat up line!

We took a while TTC our DS and now TTC no2 is taking even longer... Adding it up we've not had sex just for the sake of it for years and years... I've let myself go a bit too...

Banana79 Tue 14-Jul-15 20:19:10

Could you have a dirty weekend away Pip? Just you and him. Go somewhere fun..eat, drink and get jiggy!

Mummybear8 Tue 14-Jul-15 20:40:04

It took us a while to conceive this time around with #2. In the end we were so disheartened with getting a negative result every month, we decided to give up and just get on with life. Christmas came around and with all the extra heavy drinking indulging, it just sort of happened.

Stop physically "trying".

Just concentrate on enjoying your relationship. Go out and eat nice food and have a drink. As a PP said, tracking etc just adds pressure, every time you have sex all your thinking about is baby-making. Try to have sex any time you feel like it, not just when you might be ovulating and try something new you've always fancied.

I hope it happens for you soon, I know how shitty it is to wait and wonder "when is it our turn" every month smileflowers

princessvikki Tue 14-Jul-15 21:37:58

Weekend away is a great idea. Or if not just a bit of romance, cook or go out for a nice dinner or any sort of date night, spend some time just 2 of you. Go and get your self some new underwear you feel sexy in, (I find baby doll is good for sexy but kind of covered) don't worry about having " let yourself go" I'm sure your hubby isn't exactly the same as he was a few years ago. Have a chat with you husband about new things to try , maybe each pick a fantasy to act out. Lovehoney.com are a good shop for a few little noveltys to change things up a bit, doesn't need to be full on toys or anything just add a bit of fun

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