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Anyone want a right old moan?!

(10 Posts)
Sweetslover31 Sat 11-Jul-15 11:50:15

I typed out this whole message and posted it to the wrong area earlier- a great start!!!! Don't know how I did that.

Anyway! I just wanted a bit of a rant and a moan. I'm 31, been trying 14 months now. Am feeling very down this month, am due on any day now. I do the odd opk and do get positives and I track my periods on an app as they are irregular- from 30 to 50 days. Think it's due to stress as works been rough. I'm just so fed up of it now, it's so hard. Because of work and life and being away with my job a lot, I feel like I have to schedule it all in and nag my other half sometimes. I did go a bit cray cray with the tracking app at first and it wasn't helping me so about 8 months ago I stripped it down to just period tracking and logging any opk I do. I'm sick of symptom spotting, of becoming what I vowed I never would- bitter and jealous and just feel poo basically! My other halfs tests are ok, and my hormone blood tests are fine. I'm guessing it's referrals to hosp next. I did have suspected miscarriage but because I was on a testing ban it was only because my period was one day, extremely painful and heavy and I was shivering shaking and cramping that the doctor thought it seemed it was a five week miscarriage possibly. Only a few family know and the friends that do aren't supportive- they all have kids and conceived straight away so can't seem to understand or show any support. Am getting so fed up and wondered if anyone else in same boat? Rant over!!

Patientlywaiting1984 Sat 11-Jul-15 16:06:52

Yes, I'm in the same boat! Well, nearly... My DH and I are both 31 too and having been TTC for 12 months. We're both getting extremely fed up. I had my blood test last week and it came back normal. My DH is having an SA done this week and we're both extremely nervous about it. I just don't know how we'll cope if it comes back dodgy. Then again, I can't help feeling that there must be some reason for not having conceived yet. Gaaaaaa!!!! The stress is really getting to me to be honest, so I do know how you feel.

I'm so sorry to hear that you've had a potential miscarriage. I really hope that things look up for you soon and we both get our BFPs soon!

AndDeepBreath Sat 11-Jul-15 18:13:08

Us too hmm we're almost 32 and have been trying since last July - we've had two early miscarriages and nothing else. The last one was in Feb and this is the first cycle we've been back to "normal" with OPKs and properly trying.

Time is just flying by and I waver between thinking "it'll happen when it happens" and "this will never ever happen" or "why is it twinging, what's happened down there, oh god, I must have ovarian cancer or something".

flowers and sympathy on your early MC. Please go easy on yourself ... one of mine was at 6 weeks and still rocked the cycles afterwards sadly. It's still a loss and you have every right to feel sad over it too.

Beansprout30 Sat 11-Jul-15 18:20:45

Similar position here too, I was 30 when we first started trying and turn 32 last month. We're on cycle 13 of properly trying, blood tests also fine for me and dh swimmers show no issues, my gp has just referred us to fertility specialist.

Sad that it's got to this stage but pleased we have got the ball rolling with things. My best friend got pregnant literally first time twice and she's currently pregnant with her second, that has been very hard to take and I struggle to see her sometimes as it's so hard to not be jealous.

Af is due for me today and just wish she would hurry up and show so I can have my monthly cigarette, bad I know but I need something to keep me going! Ive vowed not to test until im late as I just cannot face seeing another negative test.

So sorry you are finding these difficult, I hope we all get our long awaited bfps v soon xx

AndDeepBreath Sun 12-Jul-15 08:23:40

How you doing today Beansprout?

I'm trying the clear blue fertility monitor this month and not sure if it's clearing things up or not!

Beansprout30 Sun 12-Jul-15 08:33:27

No af yet, too scared to test because I normally come on straight after! I didn't temp this cycle though so perhaps I ovulated late

AndDeepBreath Sun 12-Jul-15 09:13:58

Ugh, it's crazy-making isn't it? My fingers are crossed for you!

I'm totally resolved this cycle not to test, no matter how late. (This resolution will last until the day before AF!)

WaitingForEgg Sun 12-Jul-15 09:27:16

Sweetslover31 it sounds like you have got yourself into a cycle. You try to conceive, think of nothing else, stress that it isn't working, the stress stops it working and then you go round again. I know nothing about your circumstances so am just speaking from personal experience, and truly I have no idea if my advice will help at all but this is what worked for us
I stopped tracking. I had monitored ov dates so many times i knew them by heart, I put down the ov sticks and stopped
We had more sex around ov time. I know you can get pregnant from 1 sperm etc etc. Over the ov window we had a lot of sex, slightly earlier and later than my dates, it may be you actually ovulate 12-24 hours before or after you think, it might not help but you never know!
I cut out coffee, exercised and improved my diet
I started the prenatal vitamins
I started yoga and stopped the stressful night shifts I had been working
After months of trying "perfectly" I got pregnant straight away.
Go to the GP and get the ball rolling for more help, try to do anything to destress, if you can start going to yoga, book a holiday or simply take more time for yourself.
Wishing you lots of luck flowers

AndDeepBreath Sun 12-Jul-15 09:47:26

Agree with trying to put it out of your mind and let go a bit ... although that's easier said than done and took me the MCs to truly appreciate this wasn't something we could control.

However, just a quick "in favour of the OPKs" if cycles are irregular - despite being a bit baffled by the CBFM, I'm personally very relaxed right now. My ovulation dates are anything between 12-18 days and we've only got pregnant through tracking them. I love DH but don't realistically have the energy or time to DTD 10 days in a row every month. If only we'd wanted a kid when we'd met 10 years ago FGS

AndDeepBreath Sun 12-Jul-15 09:53:44

P.s While the books I've read on the subject advocate relaxing for your own sake, they can't prove any real scientific correlation between "we relaxed and it happened". I'm not saying that's not true for some people as stress can itself delay cycles or throw things off - but for others there are actual fertility issues, and for others it just takes time and it just-so-happened to happen when they relaxed, if that makes sense. I guess I'm trying to say don't stress about stressing? But yes, if you can, focus on something else with this as a long term side mission!

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