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Advice for newbie who has struggled for 3 years to get to TTC point

(5 Posts)
d9340c Sun 05-Jul-15 17:45:32

Hi All,

So I'm completely new here and am only just about to start trying to conceive, despite trying to get to this point for a roller-coaster 3 years. Looking for some support and advice on what steps to take, to try and do the right things as time-effectively as possible.

I was diagnosed with ME/CFS back in 2007 when I was 26 and put on citalopram (an anxiety/depression/pain medication) to help me recover as much of my health as possible. I was lucky enough to recover so I was able to continue with an almost normal life, but found I was stuck on these tablets. Back in 2012 my husband and I wanted to consider starting a family, so I tried to come off the tablets (very slowly at the advice of my GP) as they are known to lead to complications. I had strong neurological kick backs (vision flashes/jumps, dizziness etc) and as I was almost off them, managed to catch flu that winter, which caused a relapse of the ME.

I had to go back on them for a year and then come off, all while fighting to build my health back from a relapse. I've now been off them for a year (went through another hell to get off them) and am getting stronger again, and learning to cope with the chronic pain.

Almost 4 months ago I started taking a conception vitamin and came of the pill, which I was put on at the age of 17 when I began having permanent bleeding and developed a large ovarian cyst. I did come off it for 18 months when I was 22, but had such irregular periods (first couple of months were ok then became anywhere between 8-12 weeks) and bad acne that I went back on. Now I'm off again I'm seeing the same pattern - I did have one at 28 days then 34, but now I'm still waiting...).

On top of all of that, sex is really painful for me (was from the start and it's been getting worse), so I've been trying to seek help through therapy (GP has been useless) but it's still not exactly enjoyable.

So after three years of challenges I feel already like an emotional wreck, and we haven't actually started yet! Husband and I are going to the docs next week to ask for fertility tests (which I can now do being off the pill) so will have to see what happens there. But with the hugely irregular periods and pain, I don't think they road ahead is looking much easier.

My plans were derailed some time ago already, but I'm now 34 and feeling increasingly frustrated and emotional about how hard it has been and how I feel that three years have just been taken from me. I therefore want to make sure that my husband and I consider all the relevant advice now, not finding out things we could do/try/consider after another x months etc.

If you got to the end of this, then thanks for reading my woes - all of my friends now have children and are constantly patronising me (unintentionally) about the fact that I don't/asking would I want them. (Why is it that once they had children it was fine for them to forget that others might be trying but not succeeding??) The journey so far has been so emotional and painful that I am also finding it hard to be around them and their children, so I'm feeling isolated and don't have anyone to confide in.

Any suggestions of how to support successful conception with irregular periods (hopefully GP will help be find out if it is PCOS or not soon) are most welcome.

cadentiasidera Sat 11-Jul-15 00:33:45

Just wanted to say hello, I'm new here and am not quite trying to conceive yet, but some of the things you mentioned struck a chord... I've also been on citalopram and had the horrid symptoms when I came off, although that was a while ago now. Also identify with the painful sex. Am still on pill but thinking of stopping relatively soon.

Not sure I can offer much advice, but just wanted to say hello, sounds like you've had a really tough time, hugs. Will be interested to hear how you get on with the doctor too.

AnotherEmma Sat 11-Jul-15 00:47:22

Hi OP, sorry to hear about your health problems flowers I've had some (but not all) similar issues and I sympathise. Well done for coming off the citalopram. For the painful sex, please check out the Vulval Pain Society (they have a website) and push your GP for a referral to a gynaecologist. They're terrible about not taking this kind of thing seriously - but there IS help you can get once you see the right person and get a diagnosis. Once you do, consider women's health physiotherapy. This can really help and is basically the best way of managing the pain without meds.
Please feel free to PM me if you want to discuss the vulval pain / painful sex in more detail.. I'd prefer not to go into my personal experience too much on this thread, but would be happy to in a private message.

AttilaTheMeerkat Sat 11-Jul-15 08:51:39

GP should make a referral to a gynaecologist at a subfertility unit for further evaluation now given your past medical and gynaecological histories. Your case is well outside a GPs general remit anyway and you should immediately be referred.

If GP is useless do change GP practice; its no point in dealing with someone whom you cannot communicate effectively with.

What sort of therapy have you had re the pain. Painful sex (or deep pain during sex) can also be indicative of endometriosis being present. Whatever the underlying cause it is imperative that you see a gynae now and get a firm diagnosis.

homeaway Sat 11-Jul-15 10:58:39

Hi op , your different cycle lengths are not a problem as long as you are ovulating. I don't know if you are interested in charting but if you are that might be useful for you. If you fancy a read, the book taking charge if your fertility by toni weschler has a lot of information.

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