TTC after 2nd trimester loss(6 Posts)
It's hard to know why I'm posting but I suppose I'm looking for positive stories or alternatively negative stories so I can be realistic instead of pointlessly optimistic.
We lost our first baby at 21 weeks 3 months ago after a diagnosis of Turners Syndrome. Our baby developed hydrops at approx 14 weeks.
We're going to TTC again this month and I'm conflicted in terms of what to expect.
We got pregnant very easily with our first baby (BFP on month 2), had an early scan(due to mix up dates with hospital) so thought all was well and then had the devastating news about a cystic hygroma at a scan at 13 & a half weeks. I was totally blindsided & the following 10 weeks were just a devastating rollercoaster.
After testing it seems the chromosomal abnormality was just shit luck and there's no reason not to try again. And after processing everything that happened we're now in that position.
Has anyone else been in this situation? How long did it take to conceive after such a loss? Did what to most people is only a 2WW actually become a 12WW until after a scan? Also, I find myself thinking does my body not recognise chromosomal abnormalities? In 95% of pregnancies with turners syndrome an early miscarriage is the outcome. My body didn't miscarry. And while I wouldn't change the past now that I've lived it I just couldn't survive going through the last half a year again!
If anyone has any experience of this I would be very grateful to hear your experiences. TIA.
Hi Bluebell. So sorry for your loss. I lost dd2 at 18 weeks. We found out she was downs around the 12 week scan which we could live with but when we were sent for a heart scan, we were told they'd 'never seen a baby this sick & she had no chance of survival.' I think I should have mc'd earlier as had bleed at 10 weeks but she hung on in there for as long as she could. I ttc'd quite soon after the loss because I was almost 40 & panicking! I have had 2 early mcs since & am now pregnant with 12 week scan tomorrow.
There's no denying I am a nervous wreck! I have had 2 bleeds & 3 scans already where everything seems fine but it's the screening tests & the 12 week scan that really tell you anything.
I think you should try again with the knowledge that there is absolutely no reason why your next pregnancy will not go smoothly but accept you will be anxious throughout. If I get to 20 weeks with no problems I might try & relax a little.
Can I just add, I still cry over my loss which was 2 years ago. You never really get over it but it's still worth trying again.
Lots of luck to you xx
Thank you for your reply. It's only when something like this happens that you realise just how many women and couples it actually happens to.
I really hope your 12 week scan went well and that you can start to relax. Fingers crossed for an uneventful healthy pregnancy for you!
Hi bluebell. I think I've seen you on the antenatal tests board.
We're currently ttc after loosing dd2 to Edwards.
I have no experience of pregnancy after loss but am in the same situation as you ttc wise.
I totally get the 12 week wait. I think mine will be a 20WW as that's when we got our bad news.
We do have a plan in place for if and when I'm pregnant again. 8 week dating scan, harmony at fmc and viability scan at 10 weeks, 2 12 week scans, one NHS and one fmc (we're getting the package with them) then a 16 week scan and anomoly at 20 weeks. Our consultant has said I can have scans at 28,28,32 and 36 weeks if I want. I will need a positioning scan at 36 weeks as dd1 had a shoulder dystocia during labour.
I think having a plan helps my anxiety.
Our plan was discussed at our debrief with the consultant after we lost dd2. Did you have anything like that? I was told as soon as I get a positive test I need to call the director of fetal medicines PA (she was who we were under) and she will organise early scans and early booking for me.
It's bloody terrifying. I'm only on month 2 but I'm desperate for a bfp and terrified in case it is!
Thanks for replying! Yes we had a lot of blood tests done which we got the results of 2 months after our little girl was born. So all the tests were clear, which was expected but equally was a relief. At that meeting our consultant said that when and if we get pregnant again we will get an early scan at about 8 weeks, the usual 12 week scan, that we can decide whether we want a CVS at that point and then a further 20 week scan. So that does help somewhat!
I'm also thinking (why I don't know, I'm not even pregnant yet!!) would going for an 8 week scan be a bad idea. It would feel so devastating to see a heartbeat at 8 weeks and then to go for the 12 week scan and get bad news. Our last pregnancy was our first pregnancy so it's the only one I have future pregnancies to compare with. We certainly won't have the same excited feeling as we did last time but hopefully we can remain hopeful and not too anxious.
I know nothing at all that we (or any couple does) causes chromosomal abnormalities which is a relief but is also frustrating as there is nothing different I can do. I know it's all chance and luck though, we just have to hope that this time luck is with us.
Good luck to you TTC. Hopefully this time next year things will have worked out for us!
Yes I know what you mean about the 8 week scan. I think the only reason we're going for it is that we need accurate dating to be able to go for the fmc harmony package.
I guess if you don't need that then the 8 week scan would just be reassurance. Saying that we both know that there will be very little reassurance even if we do hear those 'everything's fine' words.
I guess we're now hyper aware of all that can go wrong.
Fingers crossed we both get some luck this year
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