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There was a viroid named Just, who was all wanton and lust. But her fanjo's a numpty, so she named it country, and they have a skittletits bust! It's JSing 50!!

(1000 Posts)
lildottie Sat 27-Jun-15 21:42:05

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 49 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found HERE and HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

DulcetMoans Sat 27-Jun-15 21:44:28

Sorry, I got excited about getting the last post and didn't realise you hadn't shared the new link. Hope everyone finds their way here!

Bad viroid, must not steal last post unnecessarily!

lildottie Sat 27-Jun-15 21:45:00

Well Dulcet stole the last post so i have pm'd the last page of people the link. Hopefully everyone else will find us!

WhyStannisWhy Sat 27-Jun-15 21:45:32

What stats are you needing then? grin

lildottie Sat 27-Jun-15 21:45:39

Haha, didn't see your post until i posted dulcet yes you are a very naughty viroid!!! Hope you are well x

lildottie Sat 27-Jun-15 21:46:55

any dcs
how long ttc

I've figured out why the stats sheet link doesnt work..... leave in the https:\\ but take out the www. and it will be fine.

CountryGal4 Sat 27-Jun-15 21:47:41

Age:any children:time spent Ttc
Then feel free to update the stats sheet :D

DulcetMoans Sat 27-Jun-15 21:47:52

Sorry lil. I didn't think. I saw it there on my list, all tempting with its 999 and I thought I had to do it quick before la got there.

Then it was too late... confused

They will find it anyway, they are a clever bunch!

CountryGal4 Sat 27-Jun-15 21:51:25

Dulcet you minx!

WhyStannisWhy Sat 27-Jun-15 21:56:45

Age: is N/A acceptable?
Kids: one DD
Time spent TTC: Well I haven't been on the pill for about six months...

CountryGal4 Sat 27-Jun-15 21:59:30

why you don't have to volunteer any information you don't want to. I hope the once you get to know us you'll feel able to sharesmile

justtheonethen Sat 27-Jun-15 22:03:16

Tut tut dulcet.

Come on why dish the dirt!

justtheonethen Sat 27-Jun-15 22:04:20

Sorry why cross posted. Of course you don't have to give your age.

WhyStannisWhy Sat 27-Jun-15 22:05:12

Young is the answer. Old enough to know better, young enough to do it anyway wink

oneyorkshirepud Sat 27-Jun-15 22:05:14

Ooh 50th Fred! Feels like some form of celebration is in order. Shagging and prosecco all round! grin

justtheonethen Sat 27-Jun-15 22:05:54

why how old it your DD?

WhyStannisWhy Sat 27-Jun-15 22:07:26

15 months smile

LaLaLaaaa Sat 27-Jun-15 22:09:28

Ha ha ah aha hahahahahaaaa! I saw dulcet's eyes gleaming as she spotted her opportunity there!

Pipped to the post!

To be fair I've not managed to finish one of your threads for a while I think...? You're all too quick these days.

So I'll do it here instead...


Ah, that's cathartic.

Hi to new viroids! waves merrily nice to meet you all!

I've not posted for ages but I am reading all the posts and keeping up and cheering you all on.

LaLaLaaaa Sat 27-Jun-15 22:11:01

Yeah your stats link is a bit buggered!

It should be

CountryGal4 Sat 27-Jun-15 22:11:24

just can we take a moment to bask in the glorious ness of being in the Fred title. Although it is only because people think we're insane grin

ThursdayLast Sat 27-Jun-15 22:16:21

You lot trying to see me off??

MyBlackCat Sat 27-Jun-15 22:18:49

NFMV - nothing really, think I am 2/3 dpo, right nipple is tender which is a sign I've iced, DH leaving the country for a few days tomorrow and I'm looking forward to some quality time with my furbaby grin also on holiday countdown 7 more sleeps, thanks for the book recommendations - I've got some homework to do this week smile

Love the thread title..

MyBlackCat Sat 27-Jun-15 22:19:16

And welcome why

CountryGal4 Sat 27-Jun-15 22:21:13

cat 2dpo here . Good to have a dpo buddy!

ThursdayLast Sat 27-Jun-15 22:21:50

Oh yes <waves> to why!

I'm enjoying Kanye at Glasto in spite of myself

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