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The BESH are cheating on Luck with Irony, all Hags aboard for the ironiclusterdiff of the decade (for the B's and the none B's!)

(1001 Posts)
Blue2014 Sat 27-Jun-15 18:53:54

You know the drill by now ...

Rules of Entry - must be over 30, TTC no. 1 for over a year, be suitably evil and Hag like, willing to shout Cunt at the moon on regular occasions, consume extra gin when our fellow hags are unable to, and to get the nipple tassles out for any successful Hag ...

No admittance without a complete BESHtionnaire - see below.

Blue2014 Sat 27-Jun-15 18:55:21


Rules of entry: must be ttc #1 for over a year, be suitably evil and hag-like, and submit your BESHtionnaire for our approval. If you are a baby duster or a hun, this ain't the thread for you.

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).Â

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1) Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2) Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3) Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
a) weewee
b) poopoo
c) foofoo
d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4) Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5) Is R2D2:
a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
b) the source of all evil.

6) Number of pets?

7) Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8) Lesbian crush?

9) How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
b) Over 100 quid
c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks
d) I have an extra expensive lick on a stick gadget which also appears to do arse all

10) Which of these sentences is appalling:
a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
c) both of the above

11) How barren are you?
a) childless and TTC for at least one year
b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!
If c, this aint the fred for you ...

CaveMum Sat 27-Jun-15 19:21:36

Marking my spot.

Well done on getting A Plan together Blue

EricaJ Sat 27-Jun-15 21:46:16

Well done with the plan and new fred Blue! Have a great holiday Rain

Erica, 34, married to Mr Erica. TTC-ing since the dinosaurs walked the earth Dec 2011, 2mcs, 1 cp, one surprise endometriosis and much drama later, now about to jump on the IVF train. Well, 'now' meaning 'before the end of the year, hopefully, should all the stars be aligned the right way'.

barkingtreefrog Sun 28-Jun-15 00:12:30

Nice fred Blue

Barkingtreefrog, 36. Ttc #1 since Dec 2011.
Clomid bfp summer 2013 then mc around 7 weeks.
IUI bfp summer 2014 then mc around 6/7 weeks.
Diagnosed with factor V leiden thrombophilia at the rmc .
Failed iui Jan 2015, failed ivf April 2015.
Nk cells biopsy June 2015, awaiting results before FET summer 2015, anticipating annual summer bfp....

Blue2014 Sun 28-Jun-15 10:54:48

Thanks smile

Blue, 36, married to Mr B, no diffments, possibly about to get a plan together!

cooperG Mon 29-Jun-15 11:29:09

Oooh, shiny new Fred grin

I'm glad you now have a plan, good work blue wine

cooper, 30, ttc #1 since either June 2013 or January 2014 depending on how we look at it, not a sniff of a BFP anywhere, all tests normal enough...

badb Mon 29-Jun-15 13:42:00

<pops head around door> Nice fred, hags.

Just saying hello. I've been lurking away on the old fred most days. I miss you hags. It sounds kind of pathetic, but I'm not a very open person in real life, and it was really nice being able to just let loose here. A sort of camaraderie, I suppose. I feel a bit lonely at the moment, hags. I moved to Big City to be with Mr Badb many years ago, and I have some friends here, but not that many. Most of my friends are in Other City, but those friendships have waned a little I suppose by virtue of being 300 miles away for ten years. On top of that, I'm a little upset with the best friend that I do have here for what is probably a stupid reason, so I've been extra menkul these last weeks. I feel like just hiding under the duvet most days.

Sorry hags. Maybe it's just hormones. Give me a slap with a fish, snap me out of it.

Harmony test tomorrow. Bit nervous, but I suppose I'll get to see the bean again. It might be the menkul talking, but I haven't had a single symptom except sore boobs (maybe a little nausea on waking, but nothing major), so I'm terrified something has gone wrong, and it's a mmc.

I hope you hags don't mind me posting here every so often.

badb Mon 29-Jun-15 13:51:42

Sorry, hags. What a moany me-me-me post.

rain - have a brilliant holiday. Fingers crossed it won't be (ahem) rainy.

blue - a year is mental. I can't understand why they have to repeat all the tests! Crazy. I hope you and Mr Blue have had a talk. Manostrich (GREAT!) is a pain in the hole.

barking - hope you are doing ok on this interminable wait for the nk results.

erica, I hope the seaside break did you some good. You deserve it, hag.

coop - I second (or fifth) everything everybody has said about therapy. It's absolutely worth it.

cave - did you get your results? I might have missed that, sorry if so.

Hope your Mondays are going as well as Mondays can possibly go, hags.

Blue2014 Mon 29-Jun-15 17:36:50

Hey Bad, I miss you posting too am absolutely not sometimes stalking the PESH Fred to see how you diffed hags are doing

I say post away, if I ever get diffed I'm not sure I would be all about leaving here either!

Feeling isolated sucks (I know, currently feel entirely alone whilst frequently surrounded by people!)

Hope scan goes well Hag

barkingtreefrog Mon 29-Jun-15 19:15:32

<me> post coming up.
nk results back only because I phoned for them and I'm clear.
Need a consultant appointment so we can discuss the FET. Next appointment? Fucking September. So add in a scratch the cycle before, and that's FET no earlier than November. Really fucking pissed off. And pretty upset sad.

FizzyFeet Mon 29-Jun-15 20:26:43

Hola hags, nice fred. I have been trying to avoid the menkul so staying away from MN a little bit, but wanted to catch up with you all. I have never been a prolific poster but miss you all too! The PESH Fred is very quiet but bad let's liven it up a bit!

barking that is beyond frustrating. Could you ring every week to see if they have any cancellations? I did that for our first referral appt and it can work if you can bear it. You will get to know the receptionist pretty well...

<leaves big tray of gin and cheesy wotsits>

Blue2014 Mon 29-Jun-15 20:42:38

Hey fizzsmile

Barking, it's all just fucking shit isn't it. I'd like to be chirpy and encouraging for you but mine has been zapped out of me so I'll just join you in feeling angry, upset, pissed off and like there isn't enough gin in the world to make this ok. winewinewinewinewine

EricaJ Tue 30-Jun-15 07:26:57

Hey Fizz and Bad. Please do keep popping by! It's nice to hear from you and it gives us hope! It can happen! GO BESH!!

Bad Moving to new places for a partner is tough. Sorry you are feeling isolated. Best of luck with the scan today! Let us know how it goes!

Barking That sucks. No wonder you are pissed off and upset. Cockles of confort to you. Fizz's idea of calling to check on cancellations sounds good if you can take the frustration. A friend of mine rang the doctor and explained her situation (she had some very good, out-of-her-control reasons to 'need' treatment within the next 3 months) and they ended up managing to fit her in earlier. If you are struggling (if??!!), it may be worth a chat with the consultant so they 'remember' you if there is a cancellation.

Are you going private or is this the NHS?

barkingtreefrog Wed 01-Jul-15 06:06:13

This is nhs, I called the clinic yesterday to see if we could go ahead without seeing the consultant, so hopefully still in August. The receptionist said she'd call me back today.

bad I did the same (twice, once with my ex). I decided to build my own social group by joining a running club, right about the time that the acupuncturist told me I should quit running....

Blue2014 Thu 02-Jul-15 17:03:51

Did the clinic get back to you Barking?

We are quiet round here lately, hey Hags?

barkingtreefrog Thu 02-Jul-15 20:35:11

Yes, got a nurse appointment next weds to see what our options are smile.

Blue2014 Thu 02-Jul-15 20:57:05

Ace, good work smile

Blue2014 Fri 03-Jul-15 18:14:06

Hags, who remembers a time when hearing a baby giggle didn't make you want to start smashing things up??

icy121 Fri 03-Jul-15 23:21:31

Hello. Icy, 28 (was let into the best I think mainly on the strength of my propensity to say "cunt"...) TTC since November 2013, Mr is 100% fine, diagnosed with PCOS, did 6 mints of clomid didn't work. Not even a sniff of anything.

Had ovarian drilling today and the consultant found endometriosis and a partially blocked tube! Crazy to be so pleased about my womb fuckery.... Finally starting to feel a bit more positive. Thought i was just barren.

Just started a new job so told them I was at a wedding today! Bloody better heal up for money eh!

I've previously found that coming on MN and reading forums just pushed me over the edge of anxiety and worry, beyond tears and raging, month after month of nothing at all. Feel a bit like now I can be a bit more positive I'm in a place to join in again, but if I vanish again sorry I'm just trying to save my sanity.

I've been lurking and following, albeit intermittently. At some point I won't recognise any of the names anymore - that day cannot come soon enough.

This stupid fucking ttc nightmare is incredibly unfair and shit and just bloody awful. Sometimes I see women with newborns, the baby is crying and I'm thinking "do I really want this?!" But then I weep great racking sobs every period and realise that yes. Yes I bloody do. I only want 1. I'm not greedy. Just one baby FFS.

I read once that a positive mindset makes fuck all difference to the survival rates of cancer sufferers. As such Ive not put myself under much pressure to pretend to be chirpy. If I want to get drunk and cry and irritate my non-understanding friends then I bloody will do. It's been a pity party for 1, and actually sometimes it is a relief to wallow.

Fucking body cunt. Anyway hello, again. X

icy121 Fri 03-Jul-15 23:23:41

Best Besh and minty monthly clomid. Hurrah for codeine and not proof reading [strong arm off of iPhone emoji]

Blue2014 Sat 04-Jul-15 10:30:10

Hi icy, welcome back hag.

Hags, can I have your opinions on private treatment abroad? What do we think of it? Turns out I may have been referred to the wrong NHS trust meaning we might have to cancel my referral and wait for a new one to start all over again! Isci only £1500 in Czech Republic!

Honest and hag like opinions please ....

cooperG Sat 04-Jul-15 10:41:47

blue if you can, do. £1,500 is cheap as chips compared to prices I've seen. Wtf happened with your nhs referral? angry

Blue2014 Sat 04-Jul-15 11:30:24

I've been hoarding any spare cash I had ever since we didn't get upduffed in the first few months! Being a natural pessimist means I predicted this might happen and I had better need cash for it!. So I do have the money saved.

The referral thing was because of the choose and book system, after referral I just got a letter that said "here are some clinics, pick one, we won't tell you a thing about them and Google won't help either so use some witchy powers or something to figure it out, good luck!" I chose the one nearest to my house and it now seems that they will do my investigations (which I don't fucking want, we have no spaff, I know my bloody issue, just send us for treatment!angry) but their trust won't take me for IVF because of where I live (I have to go to another trust which is actually further away but you know, NHS boundaries and all that) so I need to now cancel this referral and get a new one to my local one but they won't just transfer the care, they need to reject one referral and then open another .... Farce

icy121 Sat 04-Jul-15 11:39:20

Blue - that does sound a total farce. Bollocks.

I don't know the NHS IVF rules but is it something like "if you've had a failed cycle, even if it was private, you can't get one on NHS"? If so - and being pessimistic - if you were to go abroad and it didn't work, could you keep that from the NHS. So start your new referral but have a round in Czech in the meantime? I've found that private clinics in the UK cannot WAIT to send details of what they're doing to your GP. I don't know it'll it's a law or whatever.

Anyway, £1,500 sounds cheap, healthcare facilities in Czech are great (they have the proton beams that NHS lack after all). Maybe find some more specialist forums and talk to people who've used the actual clinic?

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