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Ttc for 9 months Af arrived today getting disheartned

(8 Posts)
temporaryname2015 Wed 17-Jun-15 22:27:36

Just that really. On to month 10 now.

Had a early misccariage last year after ttc for 3 months so i feel pretty quickly.

Have endometriosis and had laproscopic surgery 2 years ago and surgery to remove a fibroid last year prior to falling pregnant. Cant help wondering if the surgerys are to blame.

OH not very supportive when i am sad each month when Af arrives. Says its my own fault for getting my hopes up.

Also feel shit when im on as due to not being on the pill as im ttc My endo seems to be getting worse each month. Its also intefering with work as im in pain and if work falls on my bad days im missing it.

I feel like its all a struggle for nothing .

Bosabosa Thu 18-Jun-15 08:44:28

Sorry to hear you are feeling so low-it must be very difficult for you to be in pain like that. I have no experience of endo so not sure I can help but just to say I have a gland problem (benign tumour) which means I do not ovulate regularly but after ten cycles I have just got BFP. So don't give up! Have you considered counselling to help talk through your feelings??

temporaryname2015 Thu 18-Jun-15 14:50:35

Hi Bosabosa

Thank-you so much for your reply.
It is very painful i have to try and plan my everyday life around it. The annoying thing is i have always had a very regular cycle so i could at least know when its going to arrive.

Now its irregular, which frustrates me with us trying to concieve again. I dont mean that to rub it in, with you mentioning you dont ovulate regulary.

I do not fully understand your situation with your gland problem, it does sound difficult i really do feel for you flowers but Wow big Congrats thats lovely news smile i bet you must be over the moon and not quite beliving it still Xxx

PosterEh Thu 18-Jun-15 14:53:45

I understand how you feel. I've been trying properly for 6months (although haven't been using contraception since ds was born 18m ago). I expect it's a bit different for me as I am ttc dc3 but I'm still gutted every month and wondering if I have secondary infertility or if it is just "normal" probability.

temporaryname2015 Thu 18-Jun-15 15:15:42

Hi PosterEh

Thank-you for your reply

Im sorry to hear you are feeling the same as me. I imagine in your mind you have been technically ttc since your son was born as you were not on contraception and wondering whats up. Congrats on your 2 dc xx. Was there a large gap between your first 2 dc if its ok to ask?

I only ask as i read that a womans fertility peaks at a certain time im not in any way saying you have peaked and now it wont happen, just it can take a bit longer to fall. Im not a doc though just thoughgt it may be an explanation as to why it seems to be ( you feel) taking a little longer for you . Keeping my fingers crossed it happens soon for you and just naturally took a bit longer this time round Xxx

PosterEh Thu 18-Jun-15 20:25:56

Took me two months of trying with dc1 and dc2 (2yr gap) so this is new territory for me. I'm only 33 but I have insulin resistance so that might be affecting things I guess. Mainly I worry about whether my last birth caused some sort of structural damage. Im reasonably certain I'm ovulating and we're having a lot of sex at the right time.
I get my hopes up each month too. I always plan to wait until I'm late to test then cave and test early. Last few months I've had evaps too which I've thought were early bfps but nothing came of them. Dh thinks it's ridiculous but I suspect he is enjoying the ttc more than I am at this stage.

Carriexx Thu 18-Jun-15 21:19:05

I totally understand how you feel, I've been ttc #2 for 8 cycles now and pretty sure I'm coming on AF so on to cycle 9. I'm convinced there's something wrong with me and we'll never get pregnant. Reading about secondary infertility scared the life out of me, we got pregnant within 3 months with dd.

It's really starting to get me down, it's so difficult when you want something so badly and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. Plus everyone around me is pregnant or has recently had a baby, I'm happy for them but it breaks my heart that it's not me.

temporaryname2015 Thu 18-Jun-15 23:02:05

Hi Again PosterEh

That must be tough with previous dc being conceived so quickly, im sorry to hear about the insulin resistance. I dont suppose ( with your concern of structural damage in mind ) you could get tests done now, if you think the insulin resistence might be playing a part?.

Its crap everymonth isn't it, when you get your hopes up and their Dashed by Af turning up. Mines more a rude smack in the face, as i suffer with horrible pain as soon as Af hits full flow.

I do find though that just waiting for Af to turn up and not testing lessens the blow. Each month i am dissapointed but i have dealt with it particulary badly the months i have tested.

I thought we gave it a good shot this month dtd quite a bit around the time I ( thought) I ovulated ( ovulation pains and Ewcm) . Then i happened to take an ovulation test a few days after i thought ovulation ended and the test was positive.

So it seems the time i ovulate has shifted in my cycle . It used to be dead mid- cycle and has been for years. I didnt want to start using them straight away ttc this time around and get all caught up in it, wanted to take a more relaxed approach.

Then again last time i used them i Fell within 3 months ( it was my first pregnancy). Havnt used them this time and 10 months in still ttc. So they seemed to work for me.

Im sorry to hear your oh isnt on the same page as you sad

Its just all so difficult, ttc Xxxx

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